Well the cancer's worse than we thought

[YJM]

Hello friends,

I closed my previous account (username SeraTaru) as I didn't feel like posting any more...the lure of the man cave was more than I could resist but I feel I want to update you kind folk on our situation.

Andrea came through her operation on 20th December and we had a really nice Christmas - all things considered.

We got the post op results last Friday and they've been fairly devastating. The cancer has spread to the third node and so Andrea has to go back in for another operation on 17th January - it's a more extensive 2-3 hour operation to remove a number of nodes. In layman's terms this means the cancer has spread into the lymph system and the consultant can give no guarantees that other organs are not being affected. It's now classed as a "stage 3 invasive" - isn't it wonderful the buzzwords you can learn going through all of this.

There's been a lot of tears in our house over the past couple of weeks.

After the operation and starting in Feb she's going to be going through 6-9 months of chemo, followed by radiotherapy.

I feel punch drunk...it's all I can do to put one foot in front of the other. I was meant to go back to work last Tuesday and couldn't face it and took the rest of the week off. Today I went into the office and lasted 30 minutes. I called my boss and had a long chat and basically told him that my head is not in a place to look at work...so he is seeing if my job can be suspended for a few months to give me time to spend with Andrea as we face some hard times. Essentially it's unpaid leave, so money will be really....scarce on the ground. (The consultant told Andrea to forget about her job for all of 2018).

Through all of this I'd like to say I've drawn closer to God and I'm experiencing His peace. Truth be told I've no idea what to think. My daily prayer as I fall asleep has been "Jesus if I die and won't go to hell then please let me die in my sleep". So far sadly that prayer hasn't been answered.

I'm 50 this year, directionless, purposeless, my life to this point has been a complete waste of space and I can't see any future any more. I feel a zillion miles from God and don't even know if He cares. I hear that He cares, but I never get any indication that He does. It's been 20 years since I felt "a touch". No relationship survives a lack of love.

Daft as it seems I've missed posting here, and missed having interaction with some of you. Even dafter you've been the closest I've had to "Christian friends". So my apologies that I disappeared without a word, just doing that dumb male "running and hiding" thing.

Thanks for reading, no prayers needed or expected but just wanted to update you as I know some of you were praying for Andrea.

PS she has been blogging and I'd like to share the link to her blog - she sure does take encouragement when she gets a follower so maybe a couple of you would like to read about her journey.

https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/andreasjourneyofhope

Thanks
David

 

[Anhelyna]

David - you and your wife will fight this battle together.

I can understand what you are going through - and coping with it isn't easy. Sometimes it's our relatives who give us most problems - they don't realise it's something that we have to do. BTDTGTT

I'm sure you know about macmillan Macmillan Cancer Support - Macmillan Cancer Support
contact them - they can and will help.

Is there a Maggies Centre near you ? https://www.maggiescentres.org
They are a good source of info and support as well.

Be assured of my prayers for you both

 

[Christie insb]

Hello friends,

I closed my previous account (username SeraTaru) as I didn't feel like posting any more...the lure of the man cave was more than I could resist but I feel I want to update you kind folk on our situation.

Andrea came through her operation on 20th December and we had a really nice Christmas - all things considered.

We got the post op results last Friday and they've been fairly devastating. The cancer has spread to the third node and so Andrea has to go back in for another operation on 17th January - it's a more extensive 2-3 hour operation to remove a number of nodes. In layman's terms this means the cancer has spread into the lymph system and the consultant can give no guarantees that other organs are not being affected. It's now classed as a "stage 3 invasive" - isn't it wonderful the buzzwords you can learn going through all of this.

There's been a lot of tears in our house over the past couple of weeks.

After the operation and starting in Feb she's going to be going through 6-9 months of chemo, followed by radiotherapy.

I feel punch drunk...it's all I can do to put one foot in front of the other. I was meant to go back to work last Tuesday and couldn't face it and took the rest of the week off. Today I went into the office and lasted 30 minutes. I called my boss and had a long chat and basically told him that my head is not in a place to look at work...so he is seeing if my job can be suspended for a few months to give me time to spend with Andrea as we face some hard times. Essentially it's unpaid leave, so money will be really....scarce on the ground. (The consultant told Andrea to forget about her job for all of 2018).

Through all of this I'd like to say I've drawn closer to God and I'm experiencing His peace. Truth be told I've no idea what to think. My daily prayer as I fall asleep has been "Jesus if I die and won't go to hell then please let me die in my sleep". So far sadly that prayer hasn't been answered.

I'm 50 this year, directionless, purposeless, my life to this point has been a complete waste of space and I can't see any future any more. I feel a zillion miles from God and don't even know if He cares. I hear that He cares, but I never get any indication that He does. It's been 20 years since I felt "a touch". No relationship survives a lack of love.

Daft as it seems I've missed posting here, and missed having interaction with some of you. Even dafter you've been the closest I've had to "Christian friends". So my apologies that I disappeared without a word, just doing that dumb male "running and hiding" thing.

Thanks for reading, no prayers needed or expected but just wanted to update you as I know some of you were praying for Andrea.

PS she has been blogging and I'd like to share the link to her blog - she sure does take encouragement when she gets a follower so maybe a couple of you would like to read about her journey.

https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/andreasjourneyofhope

Thanks
David

Hello friends,

I closed my previous account (username SeraTaru) as I didn't feel like posting any more...the lure of the man cave was more than I could resist but I feel I want to update you kind folk on our situation.

Andrea came through her operation on 20th December and we had a really nice Christmas - all things considered.

We got the post op results last Friday and they've been fairly devastating. The cancer has spread to the third node and so Andrea has to go back in for another operation on 17th January - it's a more extensive 2-3 hour operation to remove a number of nodes. In layman's terms this means the cancer has spread into the lymph system and the consultant can give no guarantees that other organs are not being affected. It's now classed as a "stage 3 invasive" - isn't it wonderful the buzzwords you can learn going through all of this.

There's been a lot of tears in our house over the past couple of weeks.

After the operation and starting in Feb she's going to be going through 6-9 months of chemo, followed by radiotherapy.

I feel punch drunk...it's all I can do to put one foot in front of the other. I was meant to go back to work last Tuesday and couldn't face it and took the rest of the week off. Today I went into the office and lasted 30 minutes. I called my boss and had a long chat and basically told him that my head is not in a place to look at work...so he is seeing if my job can be suspended for a few months to give me time to spend with Andrea as we face some hard times. Essentially it's unpaid leave, so money will be really....scarce on the ground. (The consultant told Andrea to forget about her job for all of 2018).

Through all of this I'd like to say I've drawn closer to God and I'm experiencing His peace. Truth be told I've no idea what to think. My daily prayer as I fall asleep has been "Jesus if I die and won't go to hell then please let me die in my sleep". So far sadly that prayer hasn't been answered.

I'm 50 this year, directionless, purposeless, my life to this point has been a complete waste of space and I can't see any future any more. I feel a zillion miles from God and don't even know if He cares. I hear that He cares, but I never get any indication that He does. It's been 20 years since I felt "a touch". No relationship survives a lack of love.

Daft as it seems I've missed posting here, and missed having interaction with some of you. Even dafter you've been the closest I've had to "Christian friends". So my apologies that I disappeared without a word, just doing that dumb male "running and hiding" thing.

Thanks for reading, no prayers needed or expected but just wanted to update you as I know some of you were praying for Andrea.

PS she has been blogging and I'd like to share the link to her blog - she sure does take encouragement when she gets a follower so maybe a couple of you would like to read about her journey.

https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/andreasjourneyofhope

Thanks
David

Hey David - - I don't know you but of course I want to pray for you. I am sure your wife(?) has many praying for her. I pray that God will make his presence known to you and that you will be assured that God will be with you both in a very profound way no matter what happens. I pray for the peace that passes all understanding.

And it is normal to feel far from God in these very trying life circumstance. Just know that he is not far from you.

 

[~Anastasia~]

Hello friends,

I closed my previous account (username SeraTaru) as I didn't feel like posting any more...the lure of the man cave was more than I could resist but I feel I want to update you kind folk on our situation.

Andrea came through her operation on 20th December and we had a really nice Christmas - all things considered.

We got the post op results last Friday and they've been fairly devastating. The cancer has spread to the third node and so Andrea has to go back in for another operation on 17th January - it's a more extensive 2-3 hour operation to remove a number of nodes. In layman's terms this means the cancer has spread into the lymph system and the consultant can give no guarantees that other organs are not being affected. It's now classed as a "stage 3 invasive" - isn't it wonderful the buzzwords you can learn going through all of this.

There's been a lot of tears in our house over the past couple of weeks.

After the operation and starting in Feb she's going to be going through 6-9 months of chemo, followed by radiotherapy.

I feel punch drunk...it's all I can do to put one foot in front of the other. I was meant to go back to work last Tuesday and couldn't face it and took the rest of the week off. Today I went into the office and lasted 30 minutes. I called my boss and had a long chat and basically told him that my head is not in a place to look at work...so he is seeing if my job can be suspended for a few months to give me time to spend with Andrea as we face some hard times. Essentially it's unpaid leave, so money will be really....scarce on the ground. (The consultant told Andrea to forget about her job for all of 2018).

Through all of this I'd like to say I've drawn closer to God and I'm experiencing His peace. Truth be told I've no idea what to think. My daily prayer as I fall asleep has been "Jesus if I die and won't go to hell then please let me die in my sleep". So far sadly that prayer hasn't been answered.

I'm 50 this year, directionless, purposeless, my life to this point has been a complete waste of space and I can't see any future any more. I feel a zillion miles from God and don't even know if He cares. I hear that He cares, but I never get any indication that He does. It's been 20 years since I felt "a touch". No relationship survives a lack of love.

Daft as it seems I've missed posting here, and missed having interaction with some of you. Even dafter you've been the closest I've had to "Christian friends". So my apologies that I disappeared without a word, just doing that dumb male "running and hiding" thing.

Thanks for reading, no prayers needed or expected but just wanted to update you as I know some of you were praying for Andrea.

PS she has been blogging and I'd like to share the link to her blog - she sure does take encouragement when she gets a follower so maybe a couple of you would like to read about her journey.

https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/andreasjourneyofhope

Thanks
David

Lord have mercy.

I've been praying for you both and wondered how things were going.

Please understand that there is a STEEP learning curve with all of this. And of course there are never any guarantees. But treatment really has progressed and we can take encouragement in that. But the surgeries and follow up treatments are a trial.

I'll have a look at your wife's blog. Would be happy to "meet" her. I wish I lived closer. I've certainly met some wonderful supportive folks, but at the same time I'm a little grieved for you that you don't have the in-person support of any Christian friends. If you are able to reach out to the local Church, they could be a wonderful support for you both, perhaps.

And frankly, we need people when going through things like this. But at the same time, it's been the folks on TAW who I shared the most with, and who supported me in ways I needed - emotionally and spiritually. So all kinds of networks can be helpful.

I have other things I'd like to say, but since you're struggling spiritually they might not be the right things for you to hear. To me they were encouraging, but I'm not sure if they would just make a greater gulf for you. I embraced everything spiritually that much more and developed a sense of peace and confidence toward God in this life that I never had to such a degree before. I could wish the same for you and your wife, but the details for how each of us come to know God or deepen our relationships vary, so anything personal I might say seems wrong.

You both remain in my prayers.

And don't beat yourself up for running away temporarily. Sometimes we may need such a retreat. Just as always, try to find your way forward, and only one day at a time. That's all any of us can really do.

God be with you both.

 

[musicalpilgrim]

Hello friends,

I closed my previous account (username SeraTaru) as I didn't feel like posting any more...the lure of the man cave was more than I could resist but I feel I want to update you kind folk on our situation.

Andrea came through her operation on 20th December and we had a really nice Christmas - all things considered.

We got the post op results last Friday and they've been fairly devastating. The cancer has spread to the third node and so Andrea has to go back in for another operation on 17th January - it's a more extensive 2-3 hour operation to remove a number of nodes. In layman's terms this means the cancer has spread into the lymph system and the consultant can give no guarantees that other organs are not being affected. It's now classed as a "stage 3 invasive" - isn't it wonderful the buzzwords you can learn going through all of this.

There's been a lot of tears in our house over the past couple of weeks.

After the operation and starting in Feb she's going to be going through 6-9 months of chemo, followed by radiotherapy.

I feel punch drunk...it's all I can do to put one foot in front of the other. I was meant to go back to work last Tuesday and couldn't face it and took the rest of the week off. Today I went into the office and lasted 30 minutes. I called my boss and had a long chat and basically told him that my head is not in a place to look at work...so he is seeing if my job can be suspended for a few months to give me time to spend with Andrea as we face some hard times. Essentially it's unpaid leave, so money will be really....scarce on the ground. (The consultant told Andrea to forget about her job for all of 2018).

Through all of this I'd like to say I've drawn closer to God and I'm experiencing His peace. Truth be told I've no idea what to think. My daily prayer as I fall asleep has been "Jesus if I die and won't go to hell then please let me die in my sleep". So far sadly that prayer hasn't been answered.

I'm 50 this year, directionless, purposeless, my life to this point has been a complete waste of space and I can't see any future any more. I feel a zillion miles from God and don't even know if He cares. I hear that He cares, but I never get any indication that He does. It's been 20 years since I felt "a touch". No relationship survives a lack of love.

Daft as it seems I've missed posting here, and missed having interaction with some of you. Even dafter you've been the closest I've had to "Christian friends". So my apologies that I disappeared without a word, just doing that dumb male "running and hiding" thing.

Thanks for reading, no prayers needed or expected but just wanted to update you as I know some of you were praying for Andrea.

PS she has been blogging and I'd like to share the link to her blog - she sure does take encouragement when she gets a follower so maybe a couple of you would like to read about her journey.

https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/andreasjourneyofhope

Thanks
David

I will pray for you both, may you feel his presence today and be filled with his peace...the peace that only the Lord can give.
I pray for healing for your wife, joining my prayers with all my other prayer partners in Jesus name. May the Lord bless you

 

[Antig]

God bless you and your family.

What a difficult time you are going through. But, you are living it with God! That is so wonderful. Your faith is very important. I thank God that your wife has you.

Ok, you are crumbling underneath but, you have the love of God in your life.

I watched and held my dad go through cancer. I thank God for my faith.

You are carrying a very heavy cross. You have to be strong for your dear wife. However hard it gets. She will need her strength from you. You have us here to fall back to. We can listen and pray.

May God give you his love. Both of you. May he hold his healing hands over your wife.

Take care brother.

 

[inquiring mind]

David, I know there’s no words I can express right now that won’t seem somewhat dry and empty in your present situation. That’s understandable. But, from someone on the outside looking in, for now anyway – because we all eventually encounter a deep valley, I’d just like to say that we never know what twist or turn, or plan God has for us in difficult times. Lean on Him for strength and may God bless and lift you both in your struggle. I’ll pray for you.

 

[Glaucus]

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on David and Andrea.

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[YJM]

That site tells me to enter my email address.

Yes you register with an email address and pick a password, then you can get updates on what Andrea posts.

It's perfectly legit.

 

[YJM]

Thank you all for the kind words, thoughts and prayers. I take strength and look for God's peace.

 

[~Anastasia~]

That site tells me to enter my email address.

If you have a FB account you can log in with that, and limit the info shared if you want. You do have to enter an email address to make a comment, I think.

 

[RobNJ]

Lord have mercy!

 

[RobNJ]

Yes you register with an email address and pick a password, then you can get updates on what Andrea posts.

It's perfectly legit.

Yes, it is... I've been following the blog of a friends daughter, there, for a few months.

 

[FenderTL5]

prayers.
I don't know what else to say. Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy.

 

[Mary of Bethany]

May our good God have mercy on you and Andrea, grant healing of soul and body, and give strength and peace.

 

[ArmyMatt]

Lord have mercy!

 

[Lukaris]

Lord, have mercy!

 

[prodromos]

Lord have mercy.
When your wife is preparing for chemo, check out the documentary "the science of fasting" which was posted in another thread recently.
Here it is on youtube

 

[ZaidaBoBaida]

Lord have mercy!