It is gross.
Let's do some calculations. Average market rate rent where I live for a two bedroom is $1000. So for a familiy with only one child, or two children of the same gender, that is $12,000 off the top.
An average family of three, let's say, spends $275 per month on food. My family spends more like $400, but we participate in a meal program for our church, so some of that money goes to that. So that is $3000 a year.
Utilities change month through month, but let's say, if a person is paying for gas and electric, they would pay $70 monthly during the summer, and $175 per month during the winter. So to average it out, that's about $122 per month. That is $1464 a year.
Phone service. Assuming a person has one of the new $50 per month plans, that would be $600 a year.
Then we have daycare costs. If a person doesn't qualify for Child Care Subsidy or are stuck on the waiting list, they pay on average $350 per month PER child. So that is $4200 a year.
Transportation costs. I'm gonna lowball this one, because I take the bus. I pay $108 for my transpass, and then another $60 monthly for my older daughter, because she doesn't get on free anymore. Keep in mind, however, that a person with a car would may a lot more than this. That is $2016 per year.
Laundry. We go to the laundrymat twice a month, and pay $20 each time. That is $480 per year.
So, not counting school clothes, diapers, and all other miscellaneous necessities, let's see where we are at now.
Housing: $12,000
Food: $3,000
Utilities: $1,464
Phone: $600
Daycare: $4,200
Transport: $2,016
Laundry: $480
Total: $23,760
This number is a low resemblance of the average amount a family of four who receives no government assistance has to pay out, regardless of their income.
This is before clothes, which need to be bought for children who are still growing sometimes twice a year. This is before shoes, which sometimes are needed more than twice a year. This is before school supplies, diapers, toiletries, and doesn't even include utilities that families sometimes have to pay that I didn't mention, like water, trash and sewage. Does this give you any insight into how hard it is to make it financially? I really hope it does.