Welcoming new visitors to our church: God, Us, or Both?

[seeker2122]

I'd like to hear what your church does or what you think churches should be doing to welcome
and keep visitors to return to your church.

Here's what I wrestle with:

Is it God that builds his church or do we build the church? Is it up to me and my human ability to
welcome visitors, make them feel comfortable, accepted, loved that will keep them coming back and
eventually stay and become committed members in the church? Or is it purely based on God's
doing of drawing people to his church and bringing them here?

The popular answer is it's always 50/50 job. God will bring people to your church if he wants to.
Once they come, it is our part to do the best we can to accommodate them and make them feel part
of the church so they would stay and commit to be long-time members.

But I wrestle with this because part of me thinks it's not up to me at all. It's all God. He is the one who
builds a church, not the people in it because we are so charismatic or have such admirable qualities
that makes ppl want to stay. But at the same time, if the retention rate is very low, it must mean something!
If 10 new visitors are coming to our church each month and only 1 ends up staying, that a 10% retention rate.
Is it because we failed to do a better job at getting that rate higher? Something we are not doing right to
welcome them and make them feel welcomed? Maybe we don't offer what they are looking for?

But the other side of me says, to not worry about such strategies and ideas of coming up with ways to
keep them. Ultimately it's in God's hands. If he draws them to Him, they will come and will seek God and
they will be carried by the Holy Spirit to stay in the church and be a part of it building and contributing to it.
But if 50% of it is on us, then we do need to strategize and come up with creative ways to try and get that
retention rate up?

 

[Fervent]

One thing I've found is that what makes people want to stay is not the artificial friendliness that so often marks welcome programs, but forming a genuine connection. When I first moved to where I live now I visited a couple of churches before coming to attend one regularly, and there was definitely a noticeable difference between churches that practiced an intentional friendliness and those that were simply genuinely welcoming. Strategizing and such to me seems not only unnecessary, but often counterproductive because those strategies easily lead to an impression of insincerity and even desperation.

 

[YahuahSaves]

I'd like to hear what your church does or what you think churches should be doing to welcome
and keep visitors to return to your church.

Here's what I wrestle with:

Is it God that builds his church or do we build the church? Is it up to me and my human ability to
welcome visitors, make them feel comfortable, accepted, loved that will keep them coming back and
eventually stay and become committed members in the church? Or is it purely based on God's
doing of drawing people to his church and bringing them here?

The popular answer is it's always 50/50 job. God will bring people to your church if he wants to.
Once they come, it is our part to do the best we can to accommodate them and make them feel part
of the church so they would stay and commit to be long-time members.

But I wrestle with this because part of me thinks it's not up to me at all. It's all God. He is the one who
builds a church, not the people in it because we are so charismatic or have such admirable qualities
that makes ppl want to stay. But at the same time, if the retention rate is very low, it must mean something!
If 10 new visitors are coming to our church each month and only 1 ends up staying, that a 10% retention rate.
Is it because we failed to do a better job at getting that rate higher? Something we are not doing right to
welcome them and make them feel welcomed? Maybe we don't offer what they are looking for?

But the other side of me says, to not worry about such strategies and ideas of coming up with ways to
keep them. Ultimately it's in God's hands. If he draws them to Him, they will come and will seek God and
they will be carried by the Holy Spirit to stay in the church and be a part of it building and contributing to it.
But if 50% of it is on us, then we do need to strategize and come up with creative ways to try and get that
retention rate up?

A few problems with your OP.
You assume "church" is about membership and not family. When a person becomes a believer, they inherit the right to become a "child of God", if we are allowing it (making a daily choice to walk by faith), he then begins conforming us to the image of his Son (Jesus Christ).
In this way, he builds his "church" for we (as believers and followers of Jesus) are the temple for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

The traditional church that humans have built, including the concept of denominations, was never what Jesus intended when he invited us to repent, believe and follow him.

That's not to say that God cannot work through people who form a traditional church setting. The question to ask is, is it about retaining membership and keeping the lights on, or is the focus on Jesus?

Traditional churches can be great places to find fellowship with other believers, but as far as being welcoming and friendly goes, that should come naturally as a believer and follower of Christ, and shouldn't be because of some hidden agenda like retaining members.
Followers of Christ do not have to have loyalty to any particular church or denomination, for the loyalty is to him alone.

 

[seeker2122]

A few problems with your OP.
You assume "church" is about membership and not family. When a person becomes a believer, they inherit the right to become a "child of God", if we are allowing it (making a daily choice to walk by faith), he then begins conforming us to the image of his Son (Jesus Christ).
In this way, he builds his "church" for we (as believers and followers of Jesus) are the temple for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

The traditional church that humans have built, including the concept of denominations, was never what Jesus intended when he invited us to repent, believe and follow him.

That's not to say that God cannot work through people who form a traditional church setting. The question to ask is, is it about retaining membership and keeping the lights on, or is the focus on Jesus?

Traditional churches can be great places to find fellowship with other believers, but as far as being welcoming and friendly goes, that should come naturally as a believer and follower of Christ, and shouldn't be because of some hidden agenda like retaining members.
Followers of Christ do not have to have loyalty to any particular church or denomination, for the loyalty is to him alone.

Thanks for your opinion. I'd like to pick at it some if you don't mind.
I agree with what you said. Church should be more a "family" than about "membership" per se. I certainly don't see church as a membership.
But when I say "membership" I don't mean just as retaining people so to keep the "lights on". Family is also membership is it not? Membership is not family but family is membership. For example, if you are a family, you believe that each person in that family has a commitment to the whole. In other words, membership. That's what membership means. You can't have a family if the members in the family are not committed to each other and serve one another. If you have a member in the family that only visits you once every 8 years and goes around being with other families, is that person really your family member then? No. Family is about commitment, investment, service, dedication, being one.

So in the same way, churches seek this kind of "membership". While they certainly should not exclude people / visitors just because they don't "join the membership" of a church, I can understand why churches require people to become "members". I certainly believe that churches should love, and help and serve anyone regardless if they are your members or not. But I am also saying that there is a reason why "membership" is sought after by churches and the community because there needs to be a certain level of commitment and covenant between the church and it's members if you are to be considered part of the "family".

Now of course, regardless of church membership, if we are christians, we are all part of God's family. We are all members of the body of Christ and Christ is the head of this church. That is understood. But in terms of physical church entities/buildings/community, there is another level of "membership" that is sought after.

John C MacArthur explains also why churches want "membership":
-no such thing as a free floating believer who just bounces around...there is a built in sense of accountability, responsibility...
and he goes on to explain so much more here:

time stamp: starts at 19:44 (goes up to 27:00). BTW that is not me who was asking the question of "church membership" lol.

 

[YahuahSaves]

Family is about commitment, investment, service, dedication, being one.

I completely understand and agree where you're coming from with regards to the traditional church. I'm in no way suggesting "church hopping" as a long term thing is appropriate either.

With regards to your above statement about family, that kind of investment is to be given to God first, regardless if you're a believer who is part of a traditional church system, or outside the camp fellowshipping in other ways.

I was just pointing to the fact that as a Christian church that is focused on Jesus, the main priority should be in seeking him and the rest (including membership of the church) should fall into place.

* to clarify what I mean further, most churches I've attended seek for God to bless their endeavours, yet don't seek (ask) that his will be done in and through the church.

 

[seeker2122]

I completely understand and agree where you're coming from with regards to the traditional church. I'm in no way suggesting "church hopping" as a long term thing is appropriate either.

With regards to your above statement about family, that kind of investment is to be given to God first, regardless if you're a believer who is part of a traditional church system, or outside the camp fellowshipping in other ways.

I was just pointing to the fact that as a Christian church that is focused on Jesus, the main priority should be in seeking him and the rest (including membership of the church) should fall into place.

* to clarify what I mean further, most churches I've attended seek for God to bless their endeavours, yet don't seek (ask) that his will be done in and through the church.

I agree. Even still, I myself sometimes raise an eyebrow when I come across churches that require you to do x and x to fulfill membership and be part of other things in the church. But I suppose it makes sense that we can't just have anyone walk in off the streets who claims to be a believer and then give them the rights to the church accounting duties or care for children or give them the keys to the church to use facilities etc. I can see why membership is required for "trusted, approved" people to be able to handle certain privileges or positions in the church. It can also look like it's very closed and exclusive when a church is supposed to just be thought of as "open to all! come as you are!" sort of thing, but as far as personal salvation is concerned, no membership is required for that. But to function in a church community, I can see the need for membership (courses, completed programs etc).

 

[YahuahSaves]

I agree. Even still, I myself sometimes raise an eyebrow when I come across churches that require you to do x and x to fulfill membership and be part of other things in the church. But I suppose it makes sense that we can't just have anyone walk in off the streets who claims to be a believer and then give them the rights to the church accounting duties or care for children or give them the keys to the church to use facilities etc. I can see why membership is required for "trusted, approved" people to be able to handle certain privileges or positions in the church. It can also look like it's very closed and exclusive when a church is supposed to just be thought of as "open to all! come as you are!" sort of thing, but as far as personal salvation is concerned, no membership is required for that. But to function in a church community, I can see the need for membership (courses, completed programs etc).

Sure thing... I was part of a church that tried to be inclusive to new members by inviting them to participate in non-leadership roles (such as helping with set up and running of the market stall once a month), or helping with preparing refreshments and/or clean up before and after the church services. They are actually a good little community church, but there's an emphasis on "community", and in the end, I felt like they were no different than a non-profit community organisation operating in the world.

But for "fellowship" I can see why a lot of people feel they need such a place of contact and support with other believers... so I have nothing against the traditional church for that reason. But I do believe the "closed" environment of a traditional church is often not truly crossing the barriers to reach the lost and honestly share the truth about Jesus, that the gospel is an invitation to a personal relationship with God and not just a bunch of standards to live by.

 

[RickardoHolmes]

The Episcopal Church where I attend the most has a long history of coming across as cold or distant. This is more noted in the high church traditions. However, I point out that the church is NOT a place to talk or chat, especially before or during the service.
It is written : Before the service, sit quietly and talk to God. During the service, let God speak to you. After the service, speak to each other.
Afterwards, in the fellowship hall, anyone and everyone is invited to a social hour. I like that people there are "not all up in each other's beliefs, "to borrow from a phrase I recently heard.
Membership is never pressed. I am not an official member of the Episcopal church, because I never went through confirmation, and I checked with this church and yes, in fact, having gone through confirmation is in fact a requirement to be received as a member. Now having been Baptized, which we all have been, that is different. That makes one a member of Christ's church. But to be a member of the vestry or hold office, membership is required. And for me, as more of an Introvert, I really do not want to do any of those things. In fact the Christmas party initially was uncomfortable for me, but the people were nice enough and I made it through.

Now someone once asked about donations and volunteering, and yes, I donate money and I do volunteer when asked to help with anything. I spent about 2 hours after service one recent Sunday helping to decorate for Christmas As for money, or tithing, if asked I would explain that for one, I do give more than 10% of what I make to various charities, not all religious, but all to help people in some way. Second, I do not believe that the left hand should know what the right hand is doing in regards to giving.

Up until Covid wrecked it, I was also spending time at the Buddhist temple and monastery. A few times a year, they have a designated day in which people purchase gifts for the monks. This includes water, food, clothing (those lovely saffron robes they wear) Buddhist monks are not allowed to handle money otherwise, and these days are the times when gifts can be bestowed onto the faithful. It was nice to purchase boxes of raman noodles and place them on the table, knowing that the Monks can then use them as donated food for their meals. Now on Sundays they run a service, and some (very little) of it is in English, but mostly in in Thai. Covid really put a scare into the Asian populace and for a while, classes stopped as well, but thankfully, those are starting back up. While I did not ever keep a running total, I know that over the years we have contributed a good amount of $$ to the programs there.

I little over a year ago I started attending a church that is unlike the other two. Now they are very extroverted. They are part of the Missionary Baptist movement. I am not, nor will I be an official "member" but I have become accepted as a regular. The pastor knows too, that I do not like to be singled out, although I have been generous with some donations and he knows that I do not want to be acknowledged for it. I also show up and do volunteer when asked. And whenever they need money for a drive, I help as I can.
They have an actual ministry I think they call it the friendship committee or something Their job is to welcome people, answer questions about the church, and the pastor specifically put out a call for the friendliest and most outgoing members to help with that area. What I have noticed is that Missionary baptists are more extroverted while Buddhists and Episcopalians are generally more introverted . If a person wants to find a more interactive church, then church that has a "welcoming committee" in place will attempt to provide a more formal welcoming experience for those who seek it. Personally, I say Hi to people and hand some money off as asked, but I am not there to socialize and am fine to keep quiet.

 

[NotUrAvgGuy]

I just moved to a new city so need to find a new church after 15 years at my old church. I start my search online seeing what churches are in the area and then gleaning what I can from their websites. This is my first level of screening. The first thing I look for is their doctrinal statement then I go look at their sermon archive. I want to see if they teach verse-by-verse, book-by-book, or if they teach topically (I strongly prefer expository preaching of whole books). Finally, I try to get a feel for the ministries of the church. Are they a church that tries to have a zillion classes and programs or do they mostly focus on the basics? This gets me down to a manageable number.

The next step is visiting the churches. When I first visit a church, I want to be a fly on the wall. I don't want to be singled out as a visitor and shown special treatment. I want to sneak in with the crowd and observe. I am an adult. I can ask questions or find information on my own. I don't need to be handed a visitor's packet. If they are out somewhere, I can find them and take one if I want. I am not going to fill out a visitor's card or any other type of attendance card. I may not be back so I don't want follow-up phone calls, visits, or things in the mail. I can reach out or visit again if I want more information. If people naturally reach out and say hi, that's great but I don't want to be treated as a visitor.

The next Sunday I may be visiting a different church. I will take my time and listen to archived sermons. I really want to get a feel for the church before I start meeting people. In this, I realize I am not the norm. For most people, it's important to make connections and feel welcomed. I have social anxiety so I don't go to church to make friends or join groups. I may make friends but that's not my goal. I tend to avoid small churches simply because small churches are like small towns. Everyone knows everyone. I don't want the social pressure that sometimes accompanies being a newbie in a small church. I would rather fly under the radar and participate as I feel comfortable. You probably won't ever get me to attend a small group so hopefully, you will back off when you sense I am not up for that (or the men's group, or ...). We so often assume in churches that everyone needs to get involved. Why not let it happen naturally?

My very first pastor had a saying that stuck with me. He said "The purpose of the church gathered, is to edify the saints and worship God. The purpose of the church scattered is to seek and save the lost." In other words, when we gather as the Body of Christ, we are coming together as a family to be built up and worship. Visitors should be welcome and treated well but they are not why we gather. The service should be for the saints and not built around visitors. We shouldn't water down the sermon or avoid controversial topics because we might offend someone. If we speak God's truth in love, then if someone gets offended, we pray God will use it for good. You can offer classes and studies to help new believers come up to speed but don't aim the sermon at the lowest common denominator. Saints need meat, not milk. I prefer verse-by-verse and book-by-book for several reasons. It is how the Word of God came to us. God did not give us a topically arranged encyclopedia. Different men wrote different books for various audiences and for various purposes. Only by studying the whole book and getting to know the author and his purpose can we truly understand the book and its contents. We also get all its teachings in context. We also, over time, cover everything. Topical preaching can miss topics and verses. Some verses, while valuable, may not ever make it into a topical sermon. I have also noticed a trend in contemporary churches for pastors to cherry-pick topics they think are relevant and uplifting and avoid topics that might be convicting or controversial. When you teach through whole books you have to deal with each passage. The purpose of church is not to send you home feeling uplifted. Sometimes you should go home feeling convicted. When properly taught, you understand the grace of God and that your sin does not separate you from Him (thanks be to our Lord Jesus Christ) but do we not see many examples in Scripture of believers being forlorn over their sin? God's Word is meant to shine in the dark places as well as in light places. It can uplift us but also convict us. In the long run it is uplifting because as we discover our sin and repent we are uplifted but the Word of God needs to shine in every part of our lives even the ones we'd rather not look at.

I don't need coffee shops in my church or professional quality music. Those things are well and good but not why I go to church. I don't want worship to feel like a concert or the service to feel like a production. I don't want stuffy formalism. Just real people who love the Lord. I don't care if the pastor has a suit and tie on or jeans and a t-shirt. So long as he dresses respectfully. I also don't need 20 people on stage singing for me. I find that distracting. Not wrong though. Just not needed by me.

Being a visitor in some churches is like walking onto a car lot. You just want to look in some windows and read some stickers. You are not there to buy but to educate yourself. You don't mind if someone offers to answer any questions you might have but otherwise, you want to be left alone to wander the lot. Yet on some car lots the moment you set foot on the lot you can see a salesperson tracking you and heading right for you. They act friendly but then linger and start asking questions. They offer you test drives and ask you what you are looking for and won't leave! I want to be left alone as I wander the lot. If I have questions, I will find someone to answer them.

Cars and churches are not the same. A car is an object and you are not looking for a relationship with those who sell and service your car. Church is about people and family although for some of us maybe not to the usual degree. Still, churches that go out of their way to be visitor-friendly leave me with a bad taste in my mouth. It's like they are trying too hard to earn my business. A church shouldn't measure success by how many people attend each weekend, how many new members they get each month, or how large the collection is. Back to my old pastor's saying, it's outside of church that we evangelize (for the most part). While inviting people to church can lead to evangelism, that should not be our main evangelistic strategy. Church is to gather the family. Visitors are always welcome and some are already family (believers) and those who aren't we pray will join us but we don't gather specifically for them.

 

[Chaleb]

I'd like to hear what your church does or what you think churches should be doing to welcome
and keep visitors to return to your church.

Are you about to start a church?

Well, if you want a TV ministry, and 20,000 every Sunday and the building that will hold them, then just preach.

"Money and Health".

If you want a church that has 500 and everyone is a bible student who loves the word and the whole congregation is on fire for Jesus.... then Preach.

: Pauline Theology.