Watching out for children . . .

[com7fy8]

Now we have a report that America's Boy Scouts had known predators returning to lead. It was denied, but then the executive said the denial was untrue.

Boy Scouts file for bankruptcy due to sex-abuse lawsuits

I see something strange, though. One person reported was violated for some period of time. Where were the parents???? How can a child go on and on being betrayed and his or her parents do not know and do not put an end to it????

Another sort of a thing > the case of Alyssa Shepherd >

Crash at school bus stop in Indiana kills 3 children

This says the bus stopped in between curves of a high-speed road. Other reporting says the bus driver directed the children to cross while Alyssa's truck was still moving toward where the children were. But I have not read any report which says he has been held responsible, at all.

Plus, it was still dark, in the morning.

My point is > where was a parent to watch those children, to keep them from crossing? Why were the children not trained to ignore a bus driver or anyone who might tell them to cross in front of a vehicle which has not stopped??

This is weird, how children can trust a bus driver when it costs them their lives to do so. Yet, there are boys who do not have trust with their own parents so they can expose evil people who are betraying them.

And it seems the bus driver and parents are not held responsible, somehow.

Do they have a part in things like this, or not?

 

[Sabertooth]

I see something strange, though. One person reported was violated for some period of time. Where were the parents???? How can a child go on and on being betrayed and his or her parents do not know and do not put an end to it????

I have dealt with sexually molested kids before. Depending on their age and acts involved, some didn't realize that they were being molested right away. They thought that they were being let in on a secret activity. It wasn't until later, with more formal instruction on sexuality that they figured it out.

 

[Ophiolite]

I see something strange, though. One person reported was violated for some period of time. Where were the parents???? How can a child go on and on being betrayed and his or her parents do not know and do not put an end to it????

• The child is unaware that what is happening is wrong.
• The child is aware, but feels they are responsible and so they wish to hide it from their parents.
• The child knows they are not responsible, but they are too embarrassed to speak.
• The child has been threatened/overawed by the abuser.
• The foregoing also requires one or more of these to be true:
  • The abuser is a trusted family member or friend.
  • The abuser is in a recognised position of trust in the community
  • The abuser is in a position of power (and hence assumed trust) in the community
• Additionally the parents
  • May find it inconceivable that any one they know could be guilty of abuse
  • The parents may be fearful of the possibility and delude themselves
  • The parents may have called wolf before and are now overly cautious
  • One (or both) of the parents may be the abuser

I have no doubt many similar points could be added. The simple answer to your question is that human relationships, family dynamics and social conventions are complex. Which means in addressing the problem we must be versatile in our approaches.

My point is > where was a parent to watch those children, to keep them from crossing? Why were the children not trained to ignore a bus driver or anyone who might tell them to cross in front of a vehicle which has not stopped??

It is a common and generally sensible practice to encourage children to follow the instructions of responsible adults, such as firemen, teachers, police, doctors and - yes - school bus drivers. If that encouragement was not given there would be many more deaths of young children crossing to or from school buses, while ignoring the good advice of the driver. It seems, at this point, that the driver gave bad advice, but the investigation and coroner/court action will determine whether or not that was the case.

 

[keith99]

The driver has been convicted.

Alyssa Shepherd found guilty on all charges

It appears she had plenty of time to stop if she had slowed when she first saw the flashing lights but she didn't until she realized it was a school bus.

BTW she was on the way to work as the children's director at a Church. Not exactly the sort of person I would want in such a position.

https://www.indystar.com/story/news...-school-bus-stop-northern-indiana/1817049002/​

 

[Tolworth John]

There are multiple issues here, as has been mentioned, did/do the children know what is happening is wrong?
Sex texting involves very young children, most do not know it is wrong.
Do the children have someone they trust to talk to. Someone they trusted has abused them so trust is now an issue?
Are they believed?

Test this out.
Go to your church leaders and ask what would they do if you were there to talk to them about another leaders abuse of a child?
If there is only one leader about there abuse.

How they react will be how most organisations react, denial, not wanting a scandal etc

Each church needs a written procedure and nominated people who will deal with claims of abuse, including noticing the police.
Ask your minister where it is.

 

[com7fy8]

I have no doubt many similar points could be added. The simple answer to your question is that human relationships, family dynamics and social conventions are complex. Which means in addressing the problem we must be versatile in our approaches.

Thank you so much for taking the time.

Among other things, each child is unique; so what to do with each one can be unique and creative.

I have been told that "every predator has been a victim". I won't guarantee this is true, because psychopaths might not tell the truth about if they have been victims; they, I think, are known for being able to play psychologists; by now, ones could know they can claim they themselves were hurt so much - - so they can make a play for sympathy. But it could be true, for all I know.

I can see that a victim has been potentially given an idea of what he could do when he gets older. An evil seed possibly has been planted. May be, even, his predator was taken out of action, but the child did not know the consequences which happened to a predator, very likely did not see any or much of it. Plus, possibly no one made a point of talking with the child so the child would know it is a very big deal.

So, later, maybe, it is possible that what was done to the person can come back as an idea of what he can copy-cat.

And yet, a number of victims have made the connection, that it hurt them so they know they must not ever do such a thing to someone else. They can feel for others; so they can make this compassionate connection. And if they are brought up to nurture children and appreciate being trusted, this is a very positive way to prevent predation, I would think.

But there are people who are mainly just using children . . . to make money or whatever; so they might be more able to use children in other ways, too.

Not everyone has a clue about feeling for others and appreciating being trusted. And children are for us to love, not to just use. Love does not have me just using anyone.

But I can see we do not want to feed a victim with seeing great revenge on the predator, also. But this might help the child to not copy-cat what was done to him. But love, versus fear, I would say is best motive.

By the way > I'm in Massachusetts. To my knowledge, here is where at least one full-grown man was even helped to violate children, in a church culture situation. To my knowledge, here a junior-high person can go to jail for sexually assaulting a child. It is a felony. And I think there are junior-high students here who know they can put another student in jail.

There is another side to this, possibly > people are getting proof of how they can not tell the difference between a trustworthy cleric, versus a psychopath. This might be disconcerting. Ones can be in denial about this. If I can't tell the difference between a genuinely loving and caring person, and a psychopath . . . possibly I am part of the problem.

And in case a parent does not trust his or her own child, versus trusting a cleric whom he or she does not really know . . . what does this say about how the parents have been developing in their relating and communication with their children?

I think you could mean, more or less, that parents can be afraid of not fitting in. So, they can blindly trust authority figure religious people and others. And yet, like you said, there are ways it is good to trust police and other authority figures. But ones can do this more out of fear and pressure to conform.

So, yeah, I would say it is complicated

 

[essentialsaltes]

Alyssa Shepherd found guilty on all charges

It appears she had plenty of time to stop if she had slowed when she first saw the flashing lights but she didn't until she realized it was a school bus.

BTW she was on the way to work as the children's director at a Church. Not exactly the sort of person I would want in such a position.​

Indiana Driver Who Killed Three Siblings as They Tried to Board School Bus Gets Early Release from Prison After Completing Bible Study Course

Shepherd was initially slated to be released from prison in September 2022, but under Indiana’s state law governing jail credit, her sentence was reportedly reduced by six months after she completed a Bible study course offered by the facility.

Fulton County Prosecutor Mike Marrs, who previously criticized the sentence as being “too light,” also said Shepherd showed a lack of remorse.

“I can understand if you’re the one doing the time, you want to get out as quick as you can,” Marrs told WBND. “On the other hand, that’s really been the state’s major issue with the case as far as the defendant from day one. We just haven’t seen any remorse.”

 

[RDKirk]

Now we have a report that America's Boy Scouts had known predators returning to lead. It was denied, but then the executive said the denial was untrue.

Boy Scouts file for bankruptcy due to sex-abuse lawsuits

I see something strange, though. One person reported was violated for some period of time. Where were the parents???? How can a child go on and on being betrayed and his or her parents do not know and do not put an end to it????

When I was a Scouter, I pleaded with parents to get more involved, rather than simply dropping their boys off and picking them up. In one letter, I even said, "It would be good for you to get to know me better...."

Didn't work. Parents still were not concerned enough.

Another sort of a thing > the case of Alyssa Shepherd >

Crash at school bus stop in Indiana kills 3 children

This says the bus stopped in between curves of a high-speed road. Other reporting says the bus driver directed the children to cross while Alyssa's truck was still moving toward where the children were. But I have not read any report which says he has been held responsible, at all.

Plus, it was still dark, in the morning.

My point is > where was a parent to watch those children, to keep them from crossing? Why were the children not trained to ignore a bus driver or anyone who might tell them to cross in front of a vehicle which has not stopped??

This is weird, how children can trust a bus driver when it costs them their lives to do so. Yet, there are boys who do not have trust with their own parents so they can expose evil people who are betraying them.

And it seems the bus driver and parents are not held responsible, somehow.

Do they have a part in things like this, or not?

Not having checked the details of that situation, I'm going to presume that the school bus had its lights flashing and its "stop" sign flagged out, and that the state has a law requiring vehicles in both directions to stop under those conditions.

 

[bèlla]

Many parents are too hands-off and trusting of strangers. Especially in extra curricular activities. I’ve seen them leave three year olds unattended. And it bothered me.

The same holds true in religious settings. I didn’t send my daughter to kids church. If she went to Sunday school I was there. I don’t trust anyone that much.

 

[Aryeh Jay]

Indiana Driver Who Killed Three Siblings as They Tried to Board School Bus Gets Early Release from Prison After Completing Bible Study Course

Shepherd was initially slated to be released from prison in September 2022, but under Indiana’s state law governing jail credit, her sentence was reportedly reduced by six months after she completed a Bible study course offered by the facility.

Fulton County Prosecutor Mike Marrs, who previously criticized the sentence as being “too light,” also said Shepherd showed a lack of remorse.

“I can understand if you’re the one doing the time, you want to get out as quick as you can,” Marrs told WBND. “On the other hand, that’s really been the state’s major issue with the case as far as the defendant from day one. We just haven’t seen any remorse.”

I wonder if the kids she killed get to do bible study courses?

 

[TLK Valentine]

Now we have a report that America's Boy Scouts had known predators returning to lead. It was denied, but then the executive said the denial was untrue.

Boy Scouts file for bankruptcy due to sex-abuse lawsuits

I see something strange, though. One person reported was violated for some period of time. Where were the parents???? How can a child go on and on being betrayed and his or her parents do not know and do not put an end to it????

Pedophiles and other sexual predators are very adept at psychologically manipulating their victims... one thing I've heard is that the pedos can usually convince the kids that they (that is, the children) wanted or even initiated the sexual contact.

This makes young boys more reluctant to report the incident, as they're led to believe they may be gay, and they're afraid of the repercussions if they go public.

Now even if the kid was gay (and they're usually not), what kind of world do we live in where a child would be afraid to come out as gay to their parents?

Oh, right... this one.

 

[Brihaha]

It is easier to become a parent in America than it is to drive a car or vote. Not everyone is qualified to raise children. Many parents view schools as daycare centers for cheap babysitting. Some parents completely abandon their children upon learning their sexual orientation. Watching the behavior of American adults today it seems clear parents have dropped the ball for several generations now. Humility has been replaced with entitlement.

 

[Larniavc]

And it seems the bus driver and parents are not held responsible, somehow.

It was the perpetrator of the crime who are the guilty ones. I don’t see the point in blaming people not responsible for the incidents.

 

[Larniavc]

Indiana Driver Who Killed Three Siblings as They Tried to Board School Bus Gets Early Release from Prison After Completing Bible Study Course

Shepherd was initially slated to be released from prison in September 2022, but under Indiana’s state law governing jail credit, her sentence was reportedly reduced by six months after she completed a Bible study course offered by the facility.

Fulton County Prosecutor Mike Marrs, who previously criticized the sentence as being “too light,” also said Shepherd showed a lack of remorse.

“I can understand if you’re the one doing the time, you want to get out as quick as you can,” Marrs told WBND. “On the other hand, that’s really been the state’s major issue with the case as far as the defendant from day one. We just haven’t seen any remorse.”

This part of what’s wrong with America. Religion is just too ingrained in it’s legal system. Anyone can complete a Bible Course study with no change at all in their thoughts, feelings or emotions.

 

[Larniavc]

It is easier to become a parent in America than it is to drive a car or vote. Not everyone is qualified to raise children. Many parents view schools as daycare centers for cheap babysitting. Some parents completely abandon their children upon learning their sexual orientation. Watching the behavior of American adults today it seems clear parents have dropped the ball for several generations now. Humility has been replaced with entitlement.

I think blaming parents for other people killing or raping their kids is pretty poor form, don’t you?

 

[Brihaha]

I think blaming parents for other people killing or raping their kids is pretty poor form, don’t you?

I am not blaming parents for this. I'm blaming our system for letting neglectful parents procreate in the first place. My reply has nothing to do with the article in the OP.
Having been raised in Indiana I am never surprised by news coming out of the Hoosier state tho. I'm bored and tired of the political arguing so I posted here. Powerful sorry if you are offended.

 

[TLK Valentine]

I am not blaming parents for this. I'm blaming our system for letting neglectful parents procreate in the first place.

Unfortunately, there are no aptitude tests or required registration procedures to commit parenthood.