Wanting to hurt myself tonight

[HoneyBee]

I failed in therapy today and I feel like I need to harm myself for not doing a better job... I wish I were stronger and could have done a better job at what I was trying to do in therapy today...

...I was trying to remember about my childhood in therapy today, but when I tried to remember, nothing came up. Not one solitary thing, and I just feel awful for that... I should have been stronger and done more to remember. But nothing that I did worked.

God probably hates me right now. I don't know why, but He probably does. That's why He didn't answer my prayers asking him to help me remember.

 

[Tolworth John]

God probably hates me right now. I don't know why, but He probably does.

God hates sin, that is true but he does not and never has hated the repentent sinner.

That God loves you is seen firstly in that you are alive and that he sent Jesus to save you from his judgement.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

I'm glad you posted. Here's the thing about failure. We only fail when we stop trying - when we give up and do nothing. The fact that you said you didn't work hard enough and are upset says you are not a failure, and in fact are working very hard.

I don't know what you are going through or have been through, but I can tell you that with those who have been through trauma, it's not uncommon at all to not be able to remember some periods of their lives. There are other settings where this may occur outside of a childhood trauma, where we can't remember a certain time period. That doesn't constitute failure.

In my opinion, our brains know better than we do, when we are ready to address certain issues in our life. Perhaps right now you can't remember because it's not time to remember. Maybe not remembering right now is God's answer to your prayers, as He wants to prepare you further before letting the memories of your childhood return. Sometimes His no is a not yet rather than a no.

Hang in there. You can get through this, and if you can, give yourself a bit of gentleness to get through your feelings and thoughts about your therapy session and your memory.

 

[Petros2015]

I failed in therapy today and I feel like I need to harm myself for not doing a better job... I wish I were stronger and could have done a better job at what I was trying to do in therapy today...

Aw no, you didn't Fail in therapy today - you Tried in therapy today. Lots of people never get that far into therapy at all. You don't need to hurt yourself. You wouldn't hurt or cut someone you love, so don't do that to yourself either.

 

[Southernscotty]

Hello Friend, How are you doing? I am praying for you and wanted to check on you :]

 

[HoneyBee]

Hello Friend, How are you doing? I am praying for you and wanted to check on you :]

I'm doing a lot better today, thank you. My therapist and I talked about some of this and worked through it and we made a lot of positive progress today. So yeah, I'm doing much better. Thanks for all the support and prayers everyone.

 

[Dave-W]

Glad to hear it!!!!