Want to wait until marriage for sex

[Sammy-San]

I want to wait, but I am afraid that if I make the guy wait, would if I am bad in bed? What if there is some other problem? I would feel bad making him wait, marry me, and then the sex is bad.

To me that comment always seem like an idolization and obsession with sex-not good.

 

[SolomonVII]

Does both/and mean the same exact thing?

If both is exhaustive to the list of possible interpretations, they may well be. I deliberately used the word 'and' there to suggest that there are many more possible avenues of understanding that flow from contemplating Paul's words.

 

[Sammy-San]

I agree that anything that I could say about what Paul meant by burning would be speculative.
Burn with desire is one possibility, burn from the punishments of hellfire is another; maybe either/or, maybe both/and.
The idea of containment, like a fireplace, is certainly present in that. He seemed to be making the point that he believed celibacy in his time at least was the better option, so I at least do not think that he was stressing the goodness of sacramental marriage as much as I have been in my arguments here.

are you also basing that from the comments about not seeking a wife?

 

[Avniel]

I think sometimes we as people use our minds to create a situation where we would be justified and selfless for the sin. If it's bad you two work to make it better. If you fall into sin it's due to your own desires.

 

[bhayes]

I want to wait, but I am afraid that if I make the guy wait, would if I am bad in bed? What if there is some other problem? I would feel bad making him wait, marry me, and then the sex is bad.

thats a lie

 

[SolomonVII]

are you also basing that from the comments about not seeking a wife?

I have always enjoyed listening to Dennis Prager talking about sex. He is a real man's man when it comes to that, and he cannot conceive of a man who is not as highly motivated towards sex as he is.
On the other hand, I have come across so many men here who led me to believe that sex is just not a motivating factor in their lives at all. They have a complete lack of interest.

My reading of Paul does lead me to tend to believe that he is a metaphoric eunuch in that way. Celibacy was not a sacrifice for him, because he had no passion for sexual relations in the first place.

 

[Sammy-San]

I have always enjoyed listening to Dennis Prager talking about sex. He is a real man's man when it comes to that, and he cannot conceive of a man who is not as highly motivated towards sex as he is.
On the other hand, I have come across so many men here who led me to believe that sex is just not a motivating factor in their lives at all. They have a complete lack of interest.

My reading of Paul does lead me to tend to believe that he is a metaphoric eunuch in that way. Celibacy was not a sacrifice for him, because he had no passion for sexual relations in the first place.

While I am celibate, and also not to sound improper or awkward, I strongly believe that sexual relations are, in terms of importance and status in society, highly overrated. Do you agree?

 

[SolomonVII]

While I am celibate, and also not to sound improper or awkward, I strongly believe that sexual relations are, in terms of importance and status in society, highly overrated. Do you agree?

What I believe is that marital sexual relations are under-rated and under-stressed, and seen to be the equivalent of fornication outside of marriage.


Celibacy is fully New Testament and it has been a major force in Christianity from the very beginning. From the hermitages of the East, to the cloistered life of monks and nuns in the West, celibacy had been the norm

But so is marriage fully Biblical, including strong support in New Testament books as well. What I have been trying to stress is that marriage does not so much contain sexual relations, but the very essence of sexual relations within marriage and without is different. Sex within and without marriage is as different as Christ and antechrist, as Eucharist and wine and pretzels consumed at a club.
That is why it is not even really ironic that as our societies obsession with all things sexual increases, the birth rate and the will to life, even in the womb, decreases.
Sexual relations inside of marriage and outside of marriage, are not the same thing at all.

Christian celibacy is a call to holiness outside of marriage. To those that seek marriage, abstinence is how one prepares oneself. 'Practicing' outside of marriage in this case does not make perfect. It is corrosive to the marriage itself.

 

[Sammy-San]

What I believe is that marital sexual relations are under-rated and under-stressed, and seen to be the equivalent of fornication outside of marriage.


Celibacy is fully New Testament and it has been a major force in Christianity from the very beginning. From the hermitages of the East, to the cloistered life of monks and nuns in the West, celibacy had been the norm

But so is marriage fully Biblical, including strong support in New Testament books as well. What I have been trying to stress is that marriage does not so much contain sexual relations, but the very essence of sexual relations within marriage and without is different. Sex within and without marriage is as different as Christ and antechrist, as Eucharist and wine and pretzels consumed at a club.
That is why it is not even really ironic that as our societies obsession with all things sexual increases, the birth rate and the will to life, even in the womb, decreases.
Sexual relations inside of marriage and outside of marriage, are not the same thing at all.

Christian celibacy is a call to holiness outside of marriage. To those that seek marriage, abstinence is how one prepares oneself. 'Practicing' outside of marriage in this case does not make perfect. It is corrosive to the marriage itself.

Was there Sex Before the Fall? A Biblical Analysis.

What we find, then, is that while impurity is not sinful, it is associated with things that were instituted after the Fall. That causes us to ask why sex is impure. I believe the natural answer is that sexual relations as we know them were instituted after the Fall- so that the first sex mentioned comes immediately after the fall, when Adam knows his wife in Genesis 4:1. This brings focus on St. Paul’s teaching that a man and his wife should agree to abstain from sexual relations for a short period of time in order to intensify prayer. As in Leviticus and Numbers, elevated states of holiness require abstention from sex.

Do you disagree with that claim?

 

[South Bound]

I want to wait, but I am afraid that if I make the guy wait, would if I am bad in bed? What if there is some other problem? I would feel bad making him wait, marry me, and then the sex is bad.

Everybody's bad in bed when they first start having sex. But that can be learned and half the fun is learning with your new spouse.

And let's be honest: guys' expectations are not very high when it comes to sex anyway.

So honor God and your future husband and wait. Everything will be fine.

 

[Daniel Quartararo]

I want to wait, but I am afraid that if I make the guy wait, would if I am bad in bed? What if there is some other problem? I would feel bad making him wait, marry me, and then the sex is bad.

Please do! Being someone who did not, I deeply regret it.

Also, check out this!

God bless you, in Jesus' mighty name!

 

[Healing with Jesus]

I want to wait, but I am afraid that if I make the guy wait, would if I am bad in bed? What if there is some other problem? I would feel bad making him wait, marry me, and then the sex is bad.

Howdy sister.

Take a nice deep breath... Jesus loves you! If I'm not mistaken, I sense some worry in your post. No worries, I'm a worrier too

I think you've gotten some good answers- everywhere from theological explanations to personal testimonies- with the resounding consensus being that... we care about you! There is so much pressure to do the right thing- and for good reason. I believe it was Paul who said that he who commits sexual immorality sins against himself. It's true. There is much shame and regret that... never really goes away.

I have a question about one thing you said... "What if there is some other problem?" Could you explain what you mean? I think it is worth exploring all of your worries, so that you can let all of them go... And relax in the wonderful peace that is Christ's

 

[zara<3]

I want to wait, but I am afraid that if I make the guy wait, would if I am bad in bed? What if there is some other problem? I would feel bad making him wait, marry me, and then the sex is bad.

OP you answered your own question. You want to wait. Don't let any person or fear put doubt in your head about making the decision that feels the most right for you.

 

[Sammy-San]

What I believe is that marital sexual relations are under-rated and under-stressed, and seen to be the equivalent of fornication outside of marriage.


Celibacy is fully New Testament and it has been a major force in Christianity from the very beginning. From the hermitages of the East, to the cloistered life of monks and nuns in the West, celibacy had been the norm

But so is marriage fully Biblical, including strong support in New Testament books as well. What I have been trying to stress is that marriage does not so much contain sexual relations, but the very essence of sexual relations within marriage and without is different. Sex within and without marriage is as different as Christ and antechrist, as Eucharist and wine and pretzels consumed at a club.
That is why it is not even really ironic that as our societies obsession with all things sexual increases, the birth rate and the will to life, even in the womb, decreases.
Sexual relations inside of marriage and outside of marriage, are not the same thing at all.

Christian celibacy is a call to holiness outside of marriage. To those that seek marriage, abstinence is how one prepares oneself. 'Practicing' outside of marriage in this case does not make perfect. It is corrosive to the marriage itself.

Is blessing and approval the same thing?

People say if a couple doesn't get married God won't bless them, but does that synonymous of approval or is there more to blessing than that?

 

[MrNoodle]

I met the best person in my life, and gave her my 100% to trying to make it work. But the relationship failed, and she has mostly left my life. No one is perfect, and no relationship is perfect. But she was the best person that I have met thus far. We never had sex. So I can not say that sex was a contributing factor or not. All that I can say is that I miss her, and hope that someday I will deserve to have her in my life. Meantime all that I can do is trust that God has a plan. Because I have no idea where life is taking me. - My point is that sex is not the most important thing to a relationship.

I wanted to reply to my previous comment for whatever its worth.
I got a second chance with her. I hope to not make the same mistakes that I've made in the past. I hope that I've changed and grown since then. I also hope that she has as well. Because ultimately I hope this time will be "our time". Sometimes you know that you finally found the right person. But you only know its the right person by spending a lot of time together. The right one's typically begin by having a long period of friendship before taking things to a more personal level. I hope something in my words helps you.