Volunteering Men?

[ke1985]

I am passionate about volunteer work and it disappoints me that so few men are involved with volunteer, especially hospice and working with children. Why is this? Is "helping others" seen as feminine? Do men simply work too much? Do they not desire to seek out relationships?

What say you?

 

[k450ofu3k-gh-5ipe]

Helping others is not seen as more feminine in my opinion. You just happen to be volunteering in two fields which appeal more to females. If you went to a habitat for humanity building project or something similar you'd see more men.

 

[ke1985]

I volunteered at habitat and human societies too and there are always more women. Why do you believe men find tools and building more appealing than relationships?

 

[cosmosmu]

May be same as the reason that there are more female nurse than male nurse. The caring mentality of female, mother mentality inside the brain. I think.

 

[ke1985]

Do you think men have learned this from growing up or is it something wired in them?

 

[k450ofu3k-gh-5ipe]

Women are generally more relational than men. I think it's definitely something that is hardwired in the genders. Male and female brains have significant differences.

Here's an article which points out some of the differences: Men and Women Really Do Think Differently | LiveScience

 

[k450ofu3k-gh-5ipe]

I volunteered at habitat and human societies too and there are always more women. Why do you believe men find tools and building more appealing than relationships?

At my church we have ministry group which fixes up homes for those in need in the area and that ministry group consists of all men.

It is a fact, however, that there are more women missionaries than men missionaries. I don't know if that is primarily due to women being more relationally focused or primarily due to the current difference in church attendance between men and women. It would be an interesting thing to look in to, though.

 

[ke1985]

Women are generally more relational than men. I think it's definitely something that is hardwired in the genders. Male and female brains have significant differences.

Here's an article which points out some of the differences: Men and Women Really Do Think Differently | LiveScience

Thanks for the link. I have heard of this before and I know one can study the sexes all day and still not fully understand the differences.

Since relationships, I believe, are paramount to this life it is disappointing that few men step up and reach out to those in need. Many volunteer places, especially mentors, are in need of men and yet because they are not "wired" to be this way, many organizations are lacking.

Although, it might have to do with culture and how one is raised. I have read that parents speak and are more physically affectionate with daughters than sons.

 

[Conservativation]

I am passionate about volunteer work and it disappoints me that so few men are involved with volunteer, especially hospice and working with children. Why is this? Is "helping others" seen as feminine? Do men simply work too much? Do they not desire to seek out relationships?

What say you?

I say the premise is flawed. Helping others takes on lots of things that men do, but wouldnt fall into I guess relational stuff. Those things are equally needed, so why force round pegs into square holes?
I did prison ministry for several years, that was VERY relational, and 99% men doing it, though we occasionally had one woman in the group.
Trying to equalize this is the source of more trouble than good. Basically, teaching men to be women, or vice versa (though I dont see much of the vice versa) is a bad idea from the get go....its why we both exist. Different desires and skills and needs and such.

 

[Hipsterz]

I volunteered to support a family of my own as well as many others by the taxes I pay. When I'm home I'm usually busy solving the problems of the world on the internet so I don't have time for such menial things as passing out sandwiches at a soup kitchen. You'd think they could pick a bum or two to take time out of their busy day to help pass the food out to the other bums but; alas, it is not to be.

Same thing with habitat for humanity. Where are all these poor people at that they can't swing a hammer for a few hours to help build their own house?

 

[LovesToBless]

People volunteer in areas that they're interested in...at least that's been my experience. For example, when my son was growing up and played sports through the YMCA, there were plenty of men volunteering to be coaches to all ages.

Some volunteering is done outside an organized situation...such as when my husband & I helped a friend who is a single mom. We didnt need to belong to a group effort to help her with some things that we could do.

I've also found that some group efforts are looking for a time commitment that doesn't fit our schedules. By that I mean chiefly my husband's work, which has very demanding hours with crisis situations arising on a regular basis.

There are 3 adults in my family...my husband, myself, our son. We all have volunteered over the years in various ways and I imagine we will continue to do so.

 

[chaz345]

I am passionate about volunteer work and it disappoints me that so few men are involved with volunteer, especially hospice and working with children. Why is this? Is "helping others" seen as feminine? Do men simply work too much? Do they not desire to seek out relationships?

What say you?

Well I don't think it's a valid conclusion to look at a very narrow subset of helping other people, hospice and working with children, and finding a lack of men in that narrow area saying that men don't volunteer as much or don't help others as much.

Certainly in areas that involve direct emotional involvement like that there are fewer men, but what about areas in which there are fewer women, such as the heavy construction parts of a Habitat for Humanity project, as one example?

So in short basically what I say is that the entire premise that the thread is built on is faulty.

 

[McScribe]

It depends on how it's done, and I've noticed lots of guys helping out with stuff. Habitat for humanity is an excellent example; at the last place I worked a bunch of guys contributed according to what they were best able to do, whether it was roofing, installing sinks and toilets or doing wiring, drywall, whatever.

However I came to hate serving on church committees because there was too much b.s. office politics going on and frankly it was really dumb. In the Book of Acts there wasn't any crap like that; it was done out of brotherhood and sisterhood. The average guy worth his cojones tends to find church these days boring and a waste of time, because it mostly is.

 

[chaz345]

However I came to hate serving on church committees because there was too much b.s. office politics going on and frankly it was really dumb. In the Book of Acts there wasn't any crap like that; it was done out of brotherhood and sisterhood. The average guy worth his cojones tends to find church these days boring and a waste of time, because it mostly is.

In your opinion is the last sentence I quote largely because of the first two? What I mean by that is that do you think that one reason some guys aren't more involved in church is because the planning process is endless and political and almost entirely driven by people's feelings and what the guy want's to do is roll up his sleeves and get to work?

 

[Boidae]

From my own experience as a volunteer EMT several years ago I would say that there were more men than women.

I know that if I was ever to go on and become a nurse in the medical field I would want to stay out of hospice and work with children or in an ER. I can't handle hospice and it takes a very special person that could.

 

[McScribe]

In your opinion is the last sentence I quote largely because of the first two? What I mean by that is that do you think that one reason some guys aren't more involved in church is because the planning process is endless and political and almost entirely driven by people's feelings and what the guy want's to do is roll up his sleeves and get to work?

I think so. So it may not seem like there's a lot of guys volunteering when in fact they may very well be volunteering.

 

[Lilymay]

People volunteer in areas that they're interested in...at least that's been my experience. For example, when my son was growing up and played sports through the YMCA, there were plenty of men volunteering to be coaches to all ages.

Some volunteering is done outside an organized situation...such as when my husband & I helped a friend who is a single mom. We didnt need to belong to a group effort to help her with some things that we could do.

I've also found that some group efforts are looking for a time commitment that doesn't fit our schedules. By that I mean chiefly my husband's work, which has very demanding hours with crisis situations arising on a regular basis.

There are 3 adults in my family...my husband, myself, our son. We all have volunteered over the years in various ways and I imagine we will continue to do so.

Agree with the above, especially what I bolded. There is a lot of volunteer work outside of organizations, so just because in the organized volunteering one sees either more men or more women does not equate to one gender volunteering more over the other.

Helping out is what I call a subset of volunteering.

Examples: My son helps our elderly neighbors by volunteering his time and phsyical capability every time he goes and keeps their driveway shoveled out in the winter.

My boss (who is also a friend) volunteered to take time away from his family and drive into town and use his mechanical capabilities when I called him at his home at 10:00 pm because I was stranded in town because something was wrong with my vehicle.

When I had surgery, my one friend, two nights in a row, volunteered to cook and bring supper to my family while I was recovering.

The list could go on.

 

[Bro_Sam]

I am passionate about volunteer work and it disappoints me that so few men are involved with volunteer, especially hospice and working with children. Why is this? Is "helping others" seen as feminine? Do men simply work too much? Do they not desire to seek out relationships?

What say you?

When I was a teacher, the lack of men teaching children at the elementary level or younger was a big issue.

It's unfair and it's wrong, but there is a stigma in our society that if you're a man and you care about children, you must have some creepy ulterior motive.

Some of the things I've had to go through to coach Little League and to be involved in Boy Scouts is ridiculous.

In an ironic way, the same society that complains about men not being involved turns around and discourages men from being involved.

The same society that says it wants to protect children from predators is the same socieity that turns around and discourages those men who aren't predators and really do have the best interests of the children at heart from participating.

There is a political and a diabolical movement in our country today to remove all male influence from public life and to feminize our society.

 

[chaz345]

When I was a teacher, the lack of men teaching children at the elementary level or younger was a big issue.

It's unfair and it's wrong, but there is a stigma in our society that if you're a man and you care about children, you must have some creepy ulterior motive.

Some of the things I've had to go through to coach Little League and to be involved in Boy Scouts is ridiculous.

In an ironic way, the same society that complains about men not being involved turns around and discourages men from being involved.

The same society that says it wants to protect children from predators is the same socieity that turns around and discourages those men who aren't predators and really do have the best interests of the children at heart from participating.

There is a political and a diabolical movement in our country today to remove all male influence from public life and to feminize our society.

Absolutely.

In a slightly different vein it's like the part of the feminist movement that loudly criticizes and attacks manhood and then turns around and asks where all the "real" men are.

 

[k450ofu3k-gh-5ipe]

When I was a teacher, the lack of men teaching children at the elementary level or younger was a big issue.

It's unfair and it's wrong, but there is a stigma in our society that if you're a man and you care about children, you must have some creepy ulterior motive.

Some of the things I've had to go through to coach Little League and to be involved in Boy Scouts is ridiculous.

In an ironic way, the same society that complains about men not being involved turns around and discourages men from being involved.

The same society that says it wants to protect children from predators is the same society that turns around and discourages those men who aren't predators and really do have the best interests of the children at heart from participating.

There is a political and a diabolical movement in our country today to remove all male influence from public life and to feminize our society.

I was thinking this exact same thing earlier in response to why not as many men volunteer to work with children, but I didn't feel like getting into a potential debate about it. You're right on, though.