Very Rough Day Today

[Isilwen]

We had to transport the body of a child, age four, autistic, who drowned in a pool the other day from the medical examiner's office to the funeral home.

I have a four year old and all I can do is keep thinking that is him in that bag, even though I know it's not. I have never been this affected before. I am afraid to go to sleep because I might end up with nightmares. I don't have my four year old with me as he is with his mom and I won't see him till Friday night. Sent her a message saying to hug them tight and why and got no reply even though she read it. That doesn't help me at all.

Having a really hard time getting past this.

 

[JohnAshton]

The mom is now spooked, too.

Tough times, yes. I will pray for all of you.

 

[dzheremi]

Lord have mercy. May God comfort you, and receive the soul of the little one in paradise.

 

[Basil the Great]

So sorry for the bad news. My sister and I were talking just today about some tragic deaths in our extended family. A 1st cousin died of drowning at age 20 decades ago. A 2nd cousin died from a fall from a hay rack ride, church sponsored at that, at age 12, also long ago. A 2nd cousin's daughter was murdered at age 19 by an ex-boyfriend about 20 years ago.

Try and picture the little child in Heaven is about all any of us can say to comfort you.

 

[GraceBro]

We had to transport the body of a child, age four, autistic, who drowned in a pool the other day from the medical examiner's office to the funeral home.

I have a four year old and all I can do is keep thinking that is him in that bag, even though I know it's not. I have never been this affected before. I am afraid to go to sleep because I might end up with nightmares. I don't have my four year old with me as he is with his mom and I won't see him till Friday night. Sent her a message saying to hug them tight and why and got no reply even though she read it. That doesn't help me at all.

Having a really hard time getting past this.

Besides the obvious trauma with the death of a child, are you worried about something that you feel is missing in your relationship with your son? You said, "I don't have my four-year-old with me as he is with his mom." Sounds like you're sharing custody after a failed relationship. Perhaps, the strain over that broken relationship and your son being caught in the middle is being magnified by the poor passing of this young boy. Just speculating here.

 

[Heavenhome]

Prayers for you

 

[brinny]

i'm sooooo sorry. My heart goes out to you and your son and the dynamics that only add to the sadness at this most difficult time for you and your son, and the tragic loss of the little boy. Praying that God comforts you, as well as the little boy's family. (((hug)))

 

[Isilwen]

Sounds like you're sharing custody after a failed relationship.

I am, yes.

Perhaps, the strain over that broken relationship and your son being caught in the middle is being magnified by the poor passing of this young boy

It's more simple than that. I just don't have him with me to put my arms around to know he's safe.

Does that make sense?

 

[Isilwen]

I think what's going on is that I have a touch of PTSD, which is common in EMS for the very reason that happened today, among other reasons. This one is the only one that has affected me so deeply in the all the years I have been doing this.

I was told by my partner that they never used to send parents to calls like this because they know it will tear them up. We were the only one's available to do the call.

 

[Paidiske]

That's very rough, Isilwen. Do you have to be alone tonight? Is there maybe a friend or family member who can keep you company? (Not the same as your own child, I know, but at least to cut through the loneliness).

 

[GraceBro]

I am, yes.



It's more simple than that. I just don't have him with me to put my arms around to know he's safe.

Does that make sense?

Yes, it does. That is what I was trying to get at; the separation. Death is the ultimate separation and I was just thinking that it magnified that "separation" (physically) between you and your son.

 

[Isilwen]

That's very rough, Isilwen. Do you have to be alone tonight? Is there maybe a friend or family member who can keep you company? (Not the same as your own child, I know, but at least to cut through the loneliness).

My girlfriend stayed over last night to keep me company. I don't really have any friends anymore.

She was great and it helped to as you said, cut through the loneliness.

 

[Isilwen]

Yes, it does. That is what I was trying to get at; the separation. Death is the ultimate separation and I was just thinking that it magnified that "separation" (physically) between you and your son.

I guess I can see that.

There were a couple other things that "hit" me yesterday as well that I will detail in another thread.