- May 13, 2014
- 38
- 100
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
Hello All.
Right now I feel sad. I have been with my Fiance for almost 2 years now.
He is perfect. He loves me so dearly, and is always a sweet caring man towards me. He has never cheated ( Technically, but I will get to as of why), always makes sure I am happy and have everything I have ever wanted.
Hes the one for me.
However, last year I would catch him watching inappropriate content. It devastated me. He knew how much it hurt me. I told him it hurt because it made me feel as if I was not good enough Those girls in the videos are not like me, and knowing that he looked at that hurt. I feel as if he cheated in a way, it ruined my self esteem a lot. His reason was that he was a little immature boy ( he was 18/19) , and that he does not want those girls. He apparently has not watched any inappropriate content in months he says.
I have been super depressed since the last time. I have cried many times not feeling good enough. My self esteem is super low. Sometimes I just think about it and feel super sad. I wish I could have tons of $ to get plastic surgery and look like the girls he looked at. He tells me I am beautiful and don't need to look like that and that those girls are gross. But why did you look? " I was young and dumb. I regret it everyday."
He knew the way I felt and he did it anyways, that is what hurts. I feel as if I can not trust him. I am very depressed over my body image as a result of all this. Is it normal?
Right now I feel sad. I have been with my Fiance for almost 2 years now.
He is perfect. He loves me so dearly, and is always a sweet caring man towards me. He has never cheated ( Technically, but I will get to as of why), always makes sure I am happy and have everything I have ever wanted.
Hes the one for me.
However, last year I would catch him watching inappropriate content. It devastated me. He knew how much it hurt me. I told him it hurt because it made me feel as if I was not good enough Those girls in the videos are not like me, and knowing that he looked at that hurt. I feel as if he cheated in a way, it ruined my self esteem a lot. His reason was that he was a little immature boy ( he was 18/19) , and that he does not want those girls. He apparently has not watched any inappropriate content in months he says.
I have been super depressed since the last time. I have cried many times not feeling good enough. My self esteem is super low. Sometimes I just think about it and feel super sad. I wish I could have tons of $ to get plastic surgery and look like the girls he looked at. He tells me I am beautiful and don't need to look like that and that those girls are gross. But why did you look? " I was young and dumb. I regret it everyday."
He knew the way I felt and he did it anyways, that is what hurts. I feel as if I can not trust him. I am very depressed over my body image as a result of all this. Is it normal?