very conflicted and having a really hard time getting back into church

[CodyR4]

i have been irreligious for the better part of ten years. i was going to an orthodox church but i feel like im not progressing, the priest also never keeps in touch with me, like ive been told they should. i contact him a lot via email but never get responses. i am considering going back to a pentecostal church. idk what to do and im really conflicted about it. i know if i walk into the pentecostal church i will be accepted easily. but i feel like i have to earn a place in the orthodox church, its also very foreign and i feel out of place and awkward, i know, i know, "neither jew nor greek" but still i feel like pentecostalism is more "american" and i will have an easier time fitting in. im just lost, and could really use some advice.

 

[Albion]

Have you considered other liturgical, traditional, sacramental, denominations besides the Orthodox Church?

What struck me immediately upon reading your post was that you have compared two Christian denominations that are very nearly at opposite poles so far as beliefs and practices are concerned.

 

[JohnDB]

Ok...
Because of the two wildly varying types of churches you have attended...

Why are you going?
What goals are you trying to fulfill?
What is it that you want from a membership?
What exactly is the object of the exercise?

I'm not trying to disuade you from going. It's just that you seem interested in something that you alluded to but wasn't very clear about.
And I'm familiar with many different denominations that focus on various things as to their denomination...and I got a sneaking suspicion that neither of these two are actually going to provide you with what you really want.

 

[bèlla]

When I reached the point of agnosticism and was nearing atheism, I ended up in a synagogue. It was my last resort. If I didn't find the truth I'd stop looking. Many wondered why the Lord led me there and not to a church. The reasons are similar to the ones you shared in your OP.

I needed a respite that provided a space for discovery without argument or judgment. I needed to figure things out in a loving atmosphere. I was vulnerable and emotional spent. I needed love. Not religion.

If I went to a local church it would have been easy to fall through the cracks. No one would know. They didn't possess the intimacy and hand holding I received elsewhere. If I missed a week no one would notice. Learning with the same group and experiencing God in our togetherness within the space, fellowship, and meals was instrumental.

It immersed me in a degree of community I'd never experienced. I felt a depth of belonging I've never known in a religious setting. When I returned to church there was lots to do. The services were nice. But I was withering inside. I didn't know it until I attended a Rosh HaShanah service.

I looked around and saw the familiar elements and behaviors. We started to sing and I began to weep. The dam broke and the ache spilled out. I was confronting the oneness and connection I lacked. I was home and my spirit responded.

I learned an important lesson through that experience. What feeds my soul may differ from the next. If I allow well-meaning people to convince me to do things that appear right in their mind, but are in opposition to God's plans; I'll falter. I can't allow reason to do the same.

God isn't afraid to color outside the lines. His thoughts aren't our thoughts. His ways aren't our ways. Sometimes we forget that.

I would address the matter in prayer and fasting. Some people can thrive in environments others would flounder in. We need to be fed and nourished. You need to find your home. He knows the way. Ask Him.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

 

[Maria Billingsley]

i have been irreligious for the better part of ten years. i was going to an orthodox church but i feel like im not progressing, the priest also never keeps in touch with me, like ive been told they should. i contact him a lot via email but never get responses. i am considering going back to a pentecostal church. idk what to do and im really conflicted about it. i know if i walk into the pentecostal church i will be accepted easily. but i feel like i have to earn a place in the orthodox church, its also very foreign and i feel out of place and awkward, i know, i know, "neither jew nor greek" but still i feel like pentecostalism is more "american" and i will have an easier time fitting in. im just lost, and could really use some advice.

Eastern Orthodoxy is highly cultural so I can see why you feel somewhat out cast. On the other hand, you left Pentecostalism because there were issues there as well that led you to a denomination diametrically opposite in worship style and the understanding of the Holy Spirits work in one's life through the gifts. In other words they, for the most part, are cessationists.
So I suggest you go back to your "First Love", Jesus Christ of Nazareth and not concern yourself with denominations. Seek Him first and He will lead you accordingly. I will pray for you .
Be blessed.

 

[Tigger45]

In my area we have several E.O. Parishes. The Russian & Serbian ones are the most cliquish, then follows our three Greek parishes but our Antiochian parish is the most American friendly.

Also when it comes to priests some are just more interactive than others. I know the priest at the Antiochian parish runs himself ragged keeping his flock fed.

And third, as @Albion mentioned, after I investigated Orthodoxy but still visit on occasion, I moved to a Lutheran congregation, although lately I’ve been flirting with an Anglican parish. It would be impossible for me to be non-sacramental and the liturgical service is what you see both historically and biblically as church practices.

 

[Devin Hammond]

I’ve had this same problem with the Orthodox Church where the Priest doesn’t answer emails and it is extremely annoying. I had the same reaction as you did and decided that I did not want to attend.

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

i have been irreligious for the better part of ten years. i was going to an orthodox church but i feel like im not progressing, the priest also never keeps in touch with me, like ive been told they should. i contact him a lot via email but never get responses. i am considering going back to a pentecostal church. idk what to do and im really conflicted about it. i know if i walk into the pentecostal church i will be accepted easily. but i feel like i have to earn a place in the orthodox church, its also very foreign and i feel out of place and awkward, i know, i know, "neither jew nor greek" but still i feel like pentecostalism is more "american" and i will have an easier time fitting in. im just lost, and could really use some advice.

the only way to find God and hear from Him is through His Word; church is sharing God with others, and receiving instruction on His Word. if you aren't seeking God first in His Word, it will be hard for you to find Him in any church.

as you regularly spend time in His word, you'll begin to recognize Him in churches you attend - be led by God through spending time in His Word as a priority, and when you do attend church it will be to minister to others, rather than be ministered to

 

[SANTOSO]

i have been irreligious for the better part of ten years. i was going to an orthodox church but i feel like im not progressing, the priest also never keeps in touch with me, like ive been told they should. i contact him a lot via email but never get responses. i am considering going back to a pentecostal church. idk what to do and im really conflicted about it. i know if i walk into the pentecostal church i will be accepted easily. but i feel like i have to earn a place in the orthodox church, its also very foreign and i feel out of place and awkward, i know, i know, "neither jew nor greek" but still i feel like pentecostalism is more "american" and i will have an easier time fitting in. im just lost, and could really use some advice.

Cody, what are you looking for is God not church ? Why ? It is because those who are redeemed by the Lord Jesus Christ is the church ! You are not called to seek a church ! You are called to seek God wholeheartedly!
Where is God ? God is not in some building whether they are Orthodox or Pentecostal or any denomination or non-denomination, or even in Catholic. God is in His words !!!

Have you heard what Jesus have spoken :
God is SPIRIT, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth." -John 4:24

If you are not seeking God in the right spirit and truth, you are not going to find Him !

Even David in his sins, cried out to God:
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and
renew a right spirit within me. -Psalms 51:10

Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. -Psalms 51:12

Why David repented ? It is because David seeks God’s grace of repentance and that God’s grace or His Spirit of grace can strengthen our hearts !

Rely not on your own strength! Have you not tried for ten years to no avail ? Seek His strength by waiting for His steadfast love every morning and believe that you receive His steadfast love.

When you keep His commandments in your heart, you will find God make His home in your heart.

For the kingdom of God doesn’t come from observation but the kingdom of God is love, joy, and peace in the Holy Spirit.

 

[Macchiato]

When I reached the point of agnosticism and was nearing atheism, I ended up in a synagogue. It was my last resort. If I didn't find the truth I'd stop looking. Many wondered why the Lord led me there and not to a church. The reasons are similar to the ones you shared in your OP.

I needed a respite that provided a space for discovery without argument or judgment. I needed to figure things out in a loving atmosphere. I was vulnerable and emotional spent. I needed love. Not religion.

If I went to a local church it would have been easy to fall through the cracks. No one would know. They didn't possess the intimacy and hand holding I received elsewhere. If I missed a week no one would notice. Learning with the same group and experiencing God in our togetherness within the space, fellowship, and meals was instrumental.

It immersed me in a degree of community I'd never experienced. I felt a depth of belonging I've never known in a religious setting. When I returned to church there was lots to do. The services were nice. But I was withering inside. I didn't know it until I attended a Rosh HaShanah service.

I looked around and saw the familiar elements and behaviors. We started to sing and I began to weep. The dam broke and the ache spilled out. I was confronting the oneness and connection I lacked. I was home and my spirit responded.

I learned an important lesson through that experience. What feeds my soul may differ from the next. If I allow well-meaning people to convince me to do things that appear right in their mind, but are in opposition to God's plans; I'll falter. I can't allow reason to do the same.

God isn't afraid to color outside the lines. His thoughts aren't our thoughts. His ways aren't our ways. Sometimes we forget that.

I would address the matter in prayer and fasting. Some people can thrive in environments others would flounder in. We need to be fed and nourished. You need to find your home. He knows the way. Ask Him.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

All the things you listed is what annoys me abt church. You do fall through the cracks

 

[lismore]

im just lost, and could really use some advice.

Hello Cody. Sometimes church leaders show favoritism, they have more time for one person or one type or person that others. Perhaps it could be this, I'm not sure. It's a grevious sin to see of course.

But IMO God can use this experience as a form of training for ministry.
Luke 14:12-14

Perhaps the Lord is giving you a heart for those who are rejected and forgotten so that you can minister his love to them. Sometimes church circles are so nice and middle class and churchy that they cannot actually reach anyone with the gospel. God Bless