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Urgent! I need a quick answer

Discussion in 'General Struggles' started by Kostilaks, Nov 22, 2019.

  1. Kostilaks

    Kostilaks Member

    Do not say anything about ocd. just answer me this question.

    a lady has her light bulbs in her living room, burned. the "bulb holder" is a complicated mechanism with specific rare bulbs.

    a friend of hers was going to buy her, new bulbs for that mechanism.

    ocd started bugging me

    ocd: will that friend of the lady, is also going to put them into that complicated mechanism? does he know how to do it? ask her!

    me: no!

    ocd: ask her cause you may have made a promise and maybe a punishment will happen

    suddenly, in a second, thoughts popped up without my will like "changing the promise into never ask that question. and now I am free from the compulsion cause thanks to these thoughts I should never ask. and in the next second, I was like " wait! no! I was caught off guard! they are thoughts without my will"

    since that day, I avoided mentioning or offering to help with the bulbs. the compulsion was "never ask about that friend if he knows to change the bulbs in the living room"

    Today, for other reason, I was to that lady's apartment. As I was leaving, the lady wanted a favor. I freaked I was like

    " I hope she does ask her to change the bulbs in the living room" although, the compulsion was not to make a very specific question. but still, I wanted to be sure so I did not even talk about that bulbs or touching them .

    lady: can you change a bulb for me?

    me: erm....

    inside me: noooooooooooooo! how can I explain her that I have ocd and would not like to have any activity with the bulbs in the living room?

    lady: I would like you to change a bulb in the main corridor, above the apartment door.

    me: oh...

    inside me: phew. it is a different bulb.

    ocd: do not dare to do it. why bother do it? don't you want to be sure about the compulsion? find an excuse. maybe you should never bother touching any bulb in any place of the house, in or out.

    me: I have fear of heights. and I am in a hurry.

    lady: oh. too bad...

    me: can't you find some other to do it? perhaps the others who live in the same building?

    no reason to continue the dialogue. the lady was disappointed just because I was doing an ocd compulsion that was almost different. I just wanted to be sure.

    after some minutes, I realized.

    it was better for me, to keep my mouth shut, and change that bulb, because

    the compulsion was "never ask" and not "never touch"

    and I was so angry with myself. not only, I did not help her but I am closer in breaking that compulsion. if I had helped her, I would not have asked to find an other person to do it.

    so, I got so anxious. I knew they were thoughts without my will but just to be sure. please answer me.


    "do not ask the lady, if her friend (specific guy) who is going to buy her new bulbs (specific rare brand), is able to put them into the complicated mechanism in the living room (specific place) (the compulsion was created weeks ago)

    and what I did today, was

    "asked the lady if she can find another person who can help her change the bulb (different brand from the bulb of the compulsion) above her apartment door (different place. the compulsion's was in the living room and this is outside of her apartment).

    please do not tell me that it is ocd and ignore it. I know that are going to say that to me. and that is why I use the word compulsion and not promise. because I know it is ocd. I want to be 100% sure. so, forget about the whole ocd thing in the story, do you see if the activity is the same? was the compulsion broken? please do not say on purpose, that it is broken just to fight my ocd. I want you to tell me specific. if the compulsion was broken.

    is asking the question

    "can you find someone other to change the bulb above your apartment door?"

    maybe broke the compulsion, which was

    "do not ask if the friend who is bringing the new specific bulbs, is able to put them in the living room"

    is it the 2 questions the same or not?
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. public hermit

    public hermit social troglodyte Supporter

    United States
    I have no idea, Kostilaks. What I do know is this: if the compulsion keeps you from helping others that is no good. Do you want to be that person that doesn't help others because they are all in their own compulsions? No, of course not. You don't want to be that person that doesn't help others. You want to be the person that helps others. So, get some help for yourself so that you can help others. If you won't do it for yourself, you should do it for the sake of others. I hate to break it to you, Kostilaks, if you really want to know if Jesus is real you are going to have to help others. That's straight out of Christianity 101.
  3. Kostilaks

    Kostilaks Member

    I know right. and If I would have helped her I would not be worrying now.

    anyway, what is your first answer that comes to your mind?

    "must not ask if that friend who is bringing the new bulbs, is able to put them into the living room mechanism"

    " I asked if the lady knows anyone who can help her change the bulb outside of her apartment."

    it is so scary.
  4. public hermit

    public hermit social troglodyte Supporter

    United States
    They are not logically equivalent.

    And, honestly, it's not so scary. It is not rational, and you know this. It's not real and so things that are not real cannot be scary unless you let them be scary. But, again, you know all this.
  5. DennisTate

    DennisTate Newbie Supporter


    Now I could be wrong.....
    but I have the distinct impression that if you will listen to the wisdom given to this guy you will begin to feel more and more relief?????

    Taking Off The Limitations (Living Out of Your Spirit) - Dr. Kevin Zadai

    I do.......
    so my apologies if I am painting you in my own image by thinking that the same remedy that works for me for a different set of problems will work for you.... although you have a different struggle than I do.

    My apologies.... but I can't visualize the specific problem of the light bulbs though... even though I did assist in wiring houses for a year or so.....
  6. charsan

    charsan Charismatic Episcopal Church

    United States
    Please get professional help. People are not allowed to do that on the forum. Look I know you don't like me because you don't want a Doctor, I get your stubbornness I really do. Have your ever thought maybe that me and others care? That we know from personal experience that this can spiral out of control and that we know you need help. We can't force you to get help all we can do is ask you and prray that you will get help before it becomes to late.
  7. BobRyan

    BobRyan Junior Member

    United States
    Seems like it is "I only see me" not OCD. Your entire monologue has nothing to do with concern for others - it is all about you and a zillion different "you" scenarios, and about how many more "you-rules" you might need to make up for yourself.

    That is a nonstarter for about a zillion other situations in life as well. Consider others more important than yourself... self can be a horrible task master.
  8. com7fy8

    com7fy8 Well-Known Member Supporter

    United States
    I think if someone knows the right bulb to bring, also that person might know how to put it in.
  9. Michie

    Michie Human rights begin in the womb. Supporter

    United States
    Just becoming part of the OCD ritual. Not good to feed it.