• The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.

    If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.

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unravelling

Open Heart

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Hi. I'm 56 year old woman and I'm bipolar 2. It took my doctors practically my entire life to find the right combination of meds to keep me balanced, but I have been REALLY well and stable for a period of years now.

The problem has been over the last few weeks. I'm getting that "rattled" feeling, when I start to obsess over things and imagine that others are rejecting me, or that I've done something wrong and will be in trouble (though who knows what that might be!) or that I've forgotten something really important. There has been a couple of times recently that I have not responded to people appropriately -- and I see my illness rearing up it's ugly head again. My dreams are really crazy. On good nights I'll be dreaming I'm teaching again and trying to write something on the board, but keep making mistakes. On bad nights I have dreams about being raped or other terrible things. On especially bad days, I feel that my voice is shaky, and that my hands are shaking, and I'm worried that others will notice this.

I think that part of this is just increased stress. I am recently diagnosed with myasthenia gravis, which is a pretty serious deal. I worry about my kids (one is also bipolar and the other is autistic), and feel terrible that I don't have the funds to help them. I'm in the middle of interning, and not getting paid for it. And I worry about areas in my own life that are less than functional, such as keeping up with opening the mail, responding to government agencies, and filing documents away properly. In fact, right now I'm unhappy with myself because I can't find the paperwork I need to begin the next part of my internship, because it's buried somewhere in piles of papers.

But I highly, highly suspect that the root of this unraveling has been a recent change in my meds. We would never have tampered if it hadn't have been an important reason. The Risperdal I take causes weight gain, and there are fat buildups in my throat that are now making it almost impossible to sleep comfortably at night, because I choke, or just feel funny as something is crushing my throat. I have started sleeping sitting up in a chair because of it.

I see my psychiatrist once every two months, so of course we will discuss this in another month. But I'm wondering where I should draw the line. Going back into a life of constant pain and torment is not an option for me. Dealing with an occasional night of extra anxiety might be doable. But above all else, I won't let myself start acting in a way that others avoid me again.

Should I call and make an emergency appointment with my psychiatrist to discuss this? Or should I give it time, and try to get through the next month?

I would really appreciate prayers.
 

quietpraiyze

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I'm sorry that you are going through all of this. I think you should document everything that you've shared here and make an emergency appointment with you Psychiatrist as soon as possible. I know sometimes we feel like we don't want to be a burden but that's not what this is about. This is about your health, stability and "your normal". They need to not only hear your concerns but address them in a concrete way by doing labs and making sure your levels are therapeutic so that you can actually experience symptoms disappearing and your daily life coming back into balance. I would say if you haven't gone through menopause to consider that as well. It could be perimenopause.

I would also say go to those you know and trust and have them pray for you. Psalm 139 has not only been a comfort to me when I have been suffering but it's a Psalm that I recommend to others when who they are is being shaken. Please know that Jesus Christ is the Good Shepard and He loves you and if you get an opportunity please read the Gospel of John the entire 10th chapter.

You will get through this please stay encouraged and may the peace of God comfort you.
 
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Open Heart

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I'm sorry that you are going through all of this. I think you should document everything that you've shared here and make an emergency appointment with you Psychiatrist as soon as possible. I know sometimes we feel like we don't want to be a burden but that's not what this is about. This is about your health, stability and "your normal". They need to not only hear your concerns but address them in a concrete way by doing labs and making sure your levels are therapeutic so that you can actually experience symptoms disappearing and your daily life coming back into balance. I would say if you haven't gone through menopause to consider that as well. It could be perimenopause.

I would also say go to those you know and trust and have them pray for you. Psalm 139 has not only been a comfort to me when I have been suffering but it's a Psalm that I recommend to others when who they are is being shaken. Please know that Jesus Christ is the Good Shepard and He loves you and if you get an opportunity please read the Gospel of John the entire 10th chapter.

You will get through this please stay encouraged and may the peace of God comfort you.
Thankyou. I will make an appointment on Monday.
 
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Jonathan Mathews

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Hi. I'm 56 year old woman and I'm bipolar 2. It took my doctors practically my entire life to find the right combination of meds to keep me balanced, but I have been REALLY well and stable for a period of years now.

The problem has been over the last few weeks. I'm getting that "rattled" feeling, when I start to obsess over things and imagine that others are rejecting me, or that I've done something wrong and will be in trouble (though who knows what that might be!) or that I've forgotten something really important. There has been a couple of times recently that I have not responded to people appropriately -- and I see my illness rearing up it's ugly head again. My dreams are really crazy. On good nights I'll be dreaming I'm teaching again and trying to write something on the board, but keep making mistakes. On bad nights I have dreams about being raped or other terrible things. On especially bad days, I feel that my voice is shaky, and that my hands are shaking, and I'm worried that others will notice this.

I think that part of this is just increased stress. I am recently diagnosed with myasthenia gravis, which is a pretty serious deal. I worry about my kids (one is also bipolar and the other is autistic), and feel terrible that I don't have the funds to help them. I'm in the middle of interning, and not getting paid for it. And I worry about areas in my own life that are less than functional, such as keeping up with opening the mail, responding to government agencies, and filing documents away properly. In fact, right now I'm unhappy with myself because I can't find the paperwork I need to begin the next part of my internship, because it's buried somewhere in piles of papers.

But I highly, highly suspect that the root of this unraveling has been a recent change in my meds. We would never have tampered if it hadn't have been an important reason. The Risperdal I take causes weight gain, and there are fat buildups in my throat that are now making it almost impossible to sleep comfortably at night, because I choke, or just feel funny as something is crushing my throat. I have started sleeping sitting up in a chair because of it.

I see my psychiatrist once every two months, so of course we will discuss this in another month. But I'm wondering where I should draw the line. Going back into a life of constant pain and torment is not an option for me. Dealing with an occasional night of extra anxiety might be doable. But above all else, I won't let myself start acting in a way that others avoid me again.

Should I call and make an emergency appointment with my psychiatrist to discuss this? Or should I give it time, and try to get through the next month?

I would really appreciate prayers.


I have had BiPolar for 8 years, and I have found the secret (which Satan doesn't want you to know) to overcoming Mental Disease as a Born Again Christian..... THANKFULLNESS.

God allows EVERYTHING and CAUSES all things to work together for our GOOD. So thank God for the GIFT of your mental disease! Thank God for the shakiness of your hands, the cold clammy feet, and the sleepless nights. Thank God for all the weakness and pain.

ALL OF IT.

And finally, ESPECIALLY thank GOD for the attacks of Satan that He is allowing to "buffet" your entire being.

If you thank God for all things, EVEN SATANIC ATTACKS, you will find Victory over "all powers of the Enemy". WHY??? Because Satan cannot keep attacking a person who only thanks God for allowing the satanic attacks in the first place. Otherwise, Satan would be contributing to the Will of God! LOL And Satan CANNOT do God's Will, so thank God for allowing the Satanic attacks, which form you into the likeness of Christ Jesus, and you will have overcome the Evil One, and have the Joy of being in full obedience to God!
 
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Open Heart

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I have had BiPolar for 8 years, and I have found the secret (which Satan doesn't want you to know) to overcoming Mental Disease as a Born Again Christian..... THANKFULLNESS.

God allows EVERYTHING and CAUSES all things to work together for our GOOD. So thank God for the GIFT of your mental disease! Thank God for the shakiness of your hands, the cold clammy feet, and the sleepless nights. Thank God for all the weakness and pain.

ALL OF IT.

And finally, ESPECIALLY thank GOD for the attacks of Satan that He is allowing to "buffet" your entire being.

If you thank God for all things, EVEN SATANIC ATTACKS, you will find Victory over "all powers of the Enemy". WHY??? Because Satan cannot keep attacking a person who only thanks God for allowing the satanic attacks in the first place. Otherwise, Satan would be contributing to the Will of God! LOL And Satan CANNOT do God's Will, so thank God for allowing the Satanic attacks, which form you into the likeness of Christ Jesus, and you will have overcome the Evil One, and have the Joy of being in full obedience to God!
Thank you. I hvae also found that an attitude of gratitude is amazingly helpful.
 
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