Under a full moon.

Eisen Sphere

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The light of the moon slivered upon her hair,
The calm breeze flickered the lanterns dim glare,
Followed by a gust blowing it out with a flare,
The heavens open up with stars everywhere,
Playful eyes swimming as they stare,
Taffeta laid and a beauty so bare,
Tremble of lips with a fervent kiss shared,
Fireflies illuminate the love in the air,
Zenith in line as I wait my time to flair,
Another summer night and I always want to be right there.
 

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Hey Eisen. I have no formal schooling in poetry (in high school only Carl Sandberg made sense to me--B&W you know). Well, as I am the Captain Obvious of poetry, I'd say this is secular themed, which is cool. I like it--lots of imagery. It strikes me like an impressionistic painting, in that there's stuff I can hang onto and other things pass me by. But, I walk away with an impression meant for me, and that's concrete enough.
 
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Eisen Sphere

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Hey Eisen. I have no formal schooling in poetry (in high school only Carl Sandberg made sense to me--B&W you know). Well, as I am the Captain Obvious of poetry, I'd say this is secular themed, which is cool. I like it--lots of imagery. It strikes me like an impressionistic painting, in that there's stuff I can hang onto and other things pass me by. But, I walk away with an impression meant for me, and that's concrete enough.
Thanks for your comment. How I originally wrote it was a lot more vivid, a little longer, and in my opinion much better. It was however something that just didn't need to be on CF so I toned it down.
I still like it and it's still means enough for me to go ahead do a quick post of it though.
 
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