Uncomfy after

[kranberrydude]

This situation:
Every thursday and friday i go to the youth bible study/service meetings (two friends i met in these reunions take me there). After the meeting ends, they(my friends and most of the youth of the church) start chatting (trifles and trivialities) until late hours. I normally get into bed early and i cannot bear staying awake late hearing non-edifying worldly conversations.

• Should i tell my friends to take home right after the service ends(10:30pm)?
• or should i adapt to the new enviroment?

 

[JRSut1000]

Do you leave feeling worn out and discouraged or flustered, or do you leave feeling encouraged and edifying? I'm not saying that feelings are everything, but if the talk afterwards is uplifting then now and then it can't hurt to stay a little longer.

The other solution is of course, is there someone else who can take you if you're unable to stay so late?

 

[kranberrydude]

Do you leave feeling worn out and discouraged or flustered, or do you leave feeling encouraged and edifying? I'm not saying that feelings are everything, but if the talk afterwards is uplifting then now and then it can't hurt to stay a little longer.

What edifies me after the study/service is sort of countered with the late hour trivial conversations that follow.

The other solution is of course, is there someone else who can take you if you're unable to stay so late?

Well if my friends don't take me back home early i'll have to do that. And that would have to be my mom or someone else. (i don't like to make my mom waste fuel if there is someone else that can take me to church)

 

[HisHomeMaker]

Can you speak up to them about how the conversations aren't right to you as a Christian?

 

[LilLamb219]

Do any of the other people in the group leave early? If so, maybe you could catch a ride?

 

[kranberrydude]

Can you speak up to them about how the conversations aren't right to you as a Christian?

Well the conversations are not explicitly vulgar(at least when we gather at the church's forecourt/ or bible study home), but still they are very trivial you know. And i can't bear these long hours hearing trivalities, instead of meditating on the past service's message.

Do any of the other people in the group leave early? If so, maybe you could catch a ride?

Well yeah, but i have to see if any of them pass near to my neighborhood.

 

[HisHomeMaker]

I can't bear these long hours hearing trivalities, instead of meditating on the past service's message.

I think I understand. Is there a quiet place you can go to think, meditate and pray while waiting for your ride? Perhaps your friends would respect your need for space if you told them what you need to do.

 

[kranberrydude]

I think I understand. Is there a quiet place you can go to think, meditate and pray while waiting for your ride? Perhaps your friends would respect your need for space if you told them what you need to do.

• Well the only place i can go after the home bible study to think and meditate would be the kitchen table, while the others talk in the living room where the
  study was held. STILL i'm sleepy (in need of sleeping) after the study ends you know.
  
• Now after the Youth church services is diffent, unlike the home bible studies, the church closes its door (i believe it closes, actually i have to check that up)
  there seems to be no place for me to think except on a corner in the atrium beside them.But again the issue of sleepiness comes up.

 

[Autumnleaf]

They might think its rude if you avoid their company.

 

[BFine]

The service doesn't end until 10:30 pm?
Why so late?

 

[janny108]

What edifies me after the study/service is sort of countered with the late hour trivial conversations that follow.

Well if my friends don't take me back home early i'll have to do that. And that would have to be my mom or someone else. (i don't like to make my mom waste fuel if there is someone else that can take me to church)

that sounds a lot like my church and they are on facebook too. We are considering another church for that reason.

I think sometimes people hang around and talk because no one wants to get up and leave. that happened at our church last Sun night. It was a great lesson, then it was over and no one got up from the pews! It was kind of funny we thought. So it was over, we said a few pleasantries and we were gone. Because we live across the street from the church, we noticed some folks stayed at least 30 minutes afterwards!

I agree with the poster who suggested you find other people to take you home.

 

[janny108]

They might think its rude if you avoid their company.

Not everyone is a night owl and can stay up late. I take thyroid, so my energy I want to be productive, not listen to merely chit chat that late.

 

[Angeldove97]

For the sake of fellowship, I would spend 20-30 minutes chatting with my friends. The topics might seem trivial to you but this is how these people bond with one another. I don't think anybody would be expected to stay out late chatting, so I'm sure if it would be okay if you left after spending some time with these people. If you're tired, you should rest your body and if you're not being spiritual uplifted by these conversations, then there's no real need of being there besides having some non-religious/faith-based conversations and bonding.

 

[kranberrydude]

The service doesn't end until 10:30 pm?
Why so late?

Good question, and then the chit chat ends up at midnight. Years ago the service started one hour earlier finishing at 9:30pm i guess.

I agree with the poster who suggested you find other people to take you home.

If i can find someone it would be great.

Not everyone is a night owl and can stay up late. I take thyroid, so my energy I want to be productive, not listen to merely chit chat that late.

EXACTLY

For the sake of fellowship, I would spend 20-30 minutes chatting with my friends. The topics might seem trivial to you but this is how these people bond with one another. I don't think anybody would be expected to stay out late chatting, so I'm sure if it would be okay if you left after spending some time with these people. If you're tired, you should rest your body and if you're not being spiritual uplifted by these conversations, then there's no real need of being there besides having some non-religious/faith-based conversations and bonding.

I do spend some time after the service ends in fellowship, but i'm not up for being up that late.
I'm gonna have to take some nap before going to church next time.
I'm not being uplifted in some conversations, i mean, some of them are trivial, other conversations make me question if we just left church, and few are non-trivial.

 

[powerpoint]

I'm not being uplifted in some conversations, i mean, some of them are trivial, other conversations make me question if we just left church, and few are non-trivial.

So here's a question. Whats stopping you beginning a conversation which is deep, uplifting and edifying?

Rather than isolating yourself, why not be a force for change in that environment?

 

[NewUser777]

After the meeting ends, they(my friends and most of the youth of the church) start chatting (trifles and trivialities) until late hours.

No further explanation required. I know exactly what you mean. I would do everything in my power to find another way there and back.

 

[briareos]

I think you need to have compassion on people who are not as separated from the world as you are, try to be friendly and try to relate, have you asked the Lord what he desires that you do concerning this? Avoiding people that annoy you may not be his plan for you.

 

[Niffer]

So it's trivial? So what?
It's important to build relationships within the church - and yes, sometimes you actually need to sit around and chat about things like the weather/politics/families/school etc.
I can understand wanting to leave because you are tired, or need to get up early the next day, no one can fault you for that.
But to say "I'm leaving because your conversation isn't holy enough" comes off as very pretentious imho.

Peace,
- Niffer

 

[Celtic D]

You are 25 what is the reason you need either your friends or your mother to transport you around?

You should be grateful that they have volunteered to transport you, you can't expect them to change their plans just because YOU don't want to chat.

 

[kranberrydude]

So here's a question. Whats stopping you beginning a conversation which is deep, uplifting and edifying?

Rather than isolating yourself, why not be a force for change in that environment?

Perphaps because they would not want to engage in deep conversations that much. Anyhow it won't hurt trying, good advice.

No further explanation required. I know exactly what you mean. I would do everything in my power to find another way there and back.

I'm trying to find the best way, God's. If he wants me to stay with them then i will, if he doesn't then i won't.

I think you need to have compassion on people who are not as separated from the world as you are, try to be friendly and try to relate, have you asked the Lord what he desires that you do concerning this? Avoiding people that annoy you may not be his plan for you.

Good advice, i'm gonna start relating more.

So it's trivial? So what?
It's important to build relationships within the church - and yes, sometimes you actually need to sit around and chat about things like the weather/politics/families/school etc.
I can understand wanting to leave because you are tired, or need to get up early the next day, no one can fault you for that.
But to say "I'm leaving because your conversation isn't holy enough" comes off as very pretentious imho.

Peace,
- Niffer

I'll have to adapt i guess, thanks for your advice.