Unbelieving Spouse and Children

[PurpleThistles]

Hi all,

I got some great advice on a previous question so I hope its okay to ask another.

I am married to an unbeliever. He is a good man and is supportive of my faith though I was not a Christian when we married, he will come to church and so forth, he is happy for me to bring his son up a Christian and I pray often that he will come to Jesus soon too. I also have four much much older children from my first marriage (pre-saved) and I would love them to be saved too, but I know I can't make it happen, only Jesus can.

I just wondered if anyone else was in my situation and how you deal with it? It's hard sometimes, not having anyone to talk to about what I've read in the Bible etc. I would love for my husband to be head of the household, but he is a very easy going, timid chap for the most and isn't really interested in being the final decision maker. I do have a very new church but I'm feeling very unsure about it and I am very very shy meeting new people plus my baby is additional needs so it can be difficult to attend as he makes loud repetitive noises, so I usually end up watching the livestream at home instead.

 

[anna ~ grace]

Just pray for your husband. Be a good wife. Love him.

Something I have found; not trying to convince my husband of anything works great. Arguing with him, trying to gently nudge him in one direction or the other, or trying to drop hints in conversation always ends in a fight. He’s smart, and knows when I’m being pushy, even if I don’t mean it in a bad or negative way.

Your desire to see your husband come to Christ is good. Just hang in their, trust in the Lord, follow Him, and live out your faith. And pray for him! Christ loves him.

 

[Kilk1]

Hi all,

I got some great advice on a previous question so I hope its okay to ask another.

I am married to an unbeliever. He is a good man and is supportive of my faith though I was not a Christian when we married, he will come to church and so forth, he is happy for me to bring his son up a Christian and I pray often that he will come to Jesus soon too. I also have four much much older children from my first marriage (pre-saved) and I would love them to be saved too, but I know I can't make it happen, only Jesus can.

I just wondered if anyone else was in my situation and how you deal with it? It's hard sometimes, not having anyone to talk to about what I've read in the Bible etc. I would love for my husband to be head of the household, but he is a very easy going, timid chap for the most and isn't really interested in being the final decision maker. I do have a very new church but I'm feeling very unsure about it and I am very very shy meeting new people plus my baby is additional needs so it can be difficult to attend as he makes loud repetitive noises, so I usually end up watching the livestream at home instead.

It sounds like a difficult situation but one that the Bible addresses. In 1 Corinthians 7:12-14, a Christian who has an unbelieving spouse is to stay with their spouse if the unbeliever is okay with it, so your efforts are consistent with this passage. Also, 1 Peter 3:1-6 says that a wife's actions are key for an unbelieving husband. Even if they don't obey the word, husbands might be won without a word through their wives' behavior. The passage details what this kind of behavior looks like. Hope these passages help!

As for your baby, many congregations have nursery rooms for when children are loud. Making an effort to bring your children to worship can have a big impact on your family as well (cf. Hebrews 10:24-25). Just some hopefully helpful thoughts to consider.

 

[Isilwen]

I would love for my husband to be head of the household, but he is a very easy going, timid chap for the most and isn't really interested in being the final decision maker.

He may always be this way. I know I am and have no desire to be the final decision maker. I prefer mutal decisions and anything that isn't mutual after some discussion gets dropped. If we cannot agree on something, then that something doesn't get bought or happen.

 

[Albion]

I'm with 'anna ~ grace' on this matter. It is not at all unusual for a spouse who is of another faith or simply isn't religious to later make a decision for Christ. Therefore, patience on your part is important. The witness you make, being a serious Christian, being regular in church attendance, how you raise your children, and so on, can often mean much to your spouse, even when it's not immediately apparent.

And we do know that people gradually refine their views with the passing of years, so that will likely be true of your husband, too. Try not to feel impatient at this time in both your marriage and in your own connection to your church congregation.

 

[Blade]

Hi all,

I got some great advice on a previous question so I hope its okay to ask another.

I am married to an unbeliever. He is a good man and is supportive of my faith though I was not a Christian when we married, he will come to church and so forth, he is happy for me to bring his son up a Christian and I pray often that he will come to Jesus soon too. I also have four much much older children from my first marriage (pre-saved) and I would love them to be saved too, but I know I can't make it happen, only Jesus can.

I just wondered if anyone else was in my situation and how you deal with it? It's hard sometimes, not having anyone to talk to about what I've read in the Bible etc. I would love for my husband to be head of the household, but he is a very easy going, timid chap for the most and isn't really interested in being the final decision maker. I do have a very new church but I'm feeling very unsure about it and I am very very shy meeting new people plus my baby is additional needs so it can be difficult to attend as he makes loud repetitive noises, so I usually end up watching the livestream at home instead.

My mom was saved my dad was not and very young nor was I. She always prayed then pffft every Sunday morning BAM BAM BAM on the floor upstairs to wake me up for Church.. man I really almost hated that yet now praise GOD for making me go. At one point my dad would not let her take me. She never stopped trying with PRAYER knowing God hears knowing God will answer he let me go after awhile. Yes after some years he did well I should say Christ found him. See its the JESUS in you.. its the love they see. Its how we live what we believe. When my Dad was not saved my mom still treated him as the word told her to no matter if he was not loving her like Christ loved the Church.

Jesus Christ is REAL! Did God tell Sarah "what is to hard for the lord". I know the verse but I take it for what it says "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.”

 

[timf]

Many people in your situation allow their new enthusiasm to carry them into confronting their loved ones in such a way as to drive them away from Christ.

That you are sensitive to their views is to your credit. I have found that people are more often drawn to Christianity by following a path of truth. It is important to honestly acknowledge the many flaws of Christian practice and mistakes. A person that explains them away or excuses them tends to lose credibility.

You want to be cautious of any church or denomination that pushes a sort of confrontation as a method of approach. If you desire to connect your family members with authentic Christianity and they are skeptical because of their familiarity with some Christian doctrines or practices, they may be open to consider elements of Christianity outside a particular denominational "package". There are some web sites that take this approach such as

Christian Pioneer