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ugh scrupulosity

jlanden

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Hey folks,

New here and hoping someone has experience with religious ocd/scrupulosity. Let me first say I'm a Christian and my walk with Jesus is pretty good considering I have bad bouts with ocd. I have always had blasephemous thoughts toward God in my head that I obviously don't want but have been able to move forward keeping in mind it's unintentional and it's my ocd brain. I consider myself fortunate that my family is saved and I'm grateful to God for that. However, here is my issue. I have been very close to my pets over the years and I believe it's possible we will see them in heaven. I know the Bible doesnt say either way, I just have faith. Don't wanna dispute that, just have faith. Also, anytime I have a day off I have this little coastal town I enjoy visiting with kayaking, food, etc. Good clean fun. So of course, as I've heard....ocd likes to hijack the things you love most. In my case, it's the dogs and this day trip. So, I'll be moving along my day and my ocd will tell me I'm doing something wrong at my job or I didnt sanitize my hands enough or something silly. I'll try to move along and ignore it but this is the blasphemous thought that follows in my mind. "Dear God, if I don't go re-do this job or re-sanitize my hands, then you don't have the 'b_lls' to keep my pets out of heaven or send them to hell" if I take these day trip". I don't want this thought. I hate it. I'd never in my right mind say such a thing to God. So of course, this leads to compulsions. I go back and clean and re-do jobs because I feel like if I don't the Lord is gonna let these things happen to my pets if I take this day trip. So the compulsions begin. Now, here where I messed up and am in fear and worry. I got so desperate to quit going back on things and doing compulsions that I tried to scare myself into quitting these compulsions like cleaning and going back on things. So i said in my mind, maybe even uttered out loud to God....."that thing about you not having the 'b_lls' to do to my pets if I take this trip..... I do mean it this time if I go back and clean or go back and re-do jobs". So the initial thought was obviously intrusive, but this time it was on purpose but ONLY because I was trying to scare myself into quitting compulsions. I've done this a few times. So now I'm scared to death to take these day trips because I'm scared the Lord is gonna let these awful things happen to my pets. Obviously I've asked Him to forgive me and not allow these things to happen but it doesn't make me feel better about taking these trips. Any advice?
 

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It’s just your flesh rebelling against God and you. Your flesh can’t please God. So it goes wild trying to do its own dirty work. You’re not responsible for your flesh acting out this way. Just keep taking it captive as in 2Cor 10:3-5
keep rebuking it and repenting. It may take a while but you will see some change. Be faithful. I’m always trying to control my thoughts and it does happen but sometimes I see the flesh weakening and a change happening. The most important thing is to keep fighting it. Show the Lord it’s not you. Have a sort of holy war going against it. You’ll get stronger, it will dull your sensitivity to it and you will have more freedom from it. Don’t let that evil part of your mind have its way. There are scriptures about being afflicted. The Lord says have joy in trials and pleasure in afflictions. So it’s not that bad, just your life and mine. Almost nothing else to do but work on your self when you’re disabled. It is your way and mine. Do it in love, do it in the Lord, live a holy life, try to accomplish it. Take those trips and fight the flesh while doing it.
 
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Mari17

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Hey folks,

New here and hoping someone has experience with religious ocd/scrupulosity. Let me first say I'm a Christian and my walk with Jesus is pretty good considering I have bad bouts with ocd. I have always had blasephemous thoughts toward God in my head that I obviously don't want but have been able to move forward keeping in mind it's unintentional and it's my ocd brain. I consider myself fortunate that my family is saved and I'm grateful to God for that. However, here is my issue. I have been very close to my pets over the years and I believe it's possible we will see them in heaven. I know the Bible doesnt say either way, I just have faith. Don't wanna dispute that, just have faith. Also, anytime I have a day off I have this little coastal town I enjoy visiting with kayaking, food, etc. Good clean fun. So of course, as I've heard....ocd likes to hijack the things you love most. In my case, it's the dogs and this day trip. So, I'll be moving along my day and my ocd will tell me I'm doing something wrong at my job or I didnt sanitize my hands enough or something silly. I'll try to move along and ignore it but this is the blasphemous thought that follows in my mind. "Dear God, if I don't go re-do this job or re-sanitize my hands, then you don't have the 'b_lls' to keep my pets out of heaven or send them to hell" if I take these day trip". I don't want this thought. I hate it. I'd never in my right mind say such a thing to God. So of course, this leads to compulsions. I go back and clean and re-do jobs because I feel like if I don't the Lord is gonna let these things happen to my pets if I take this day trip. So the compulsions begin. Now, here where I messed up and am in fear and worry. I got so desperate to quit going back on things and doing compulsions that I tried to scare myself into quitting these compulsions like cleaning and going back on things. So i said in my mind, maybe even uttered out loud to God....."that thing about you not having the 'b_lls' to do to my pets if I take this trip..... I do mean it this time if I go back and clean or go back and re-do jobs". So the initial thought was obviously intrusive, but this time it was on purpose but ONLY because I was trying to scare myself into quitting compulsions. I've done this a few times. So now I'm scared to death to take these day trips because I'm scared the Lord is gonna let these awful things happen to my pets. Obviously I've asked Him to forgive me and not allow these things to happen but it doesn't make me feel better about taking these trips. Any advice?
Thank you for sharing! I have OCD too, so I understand the struggle!

I am curious to know your opinion: Do you think that it is better for you to stop taking these day trips?
 
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jlanden

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Thank you for sharing! I have OCD too, so I understand the struggle!

I am curious to know your opinion: Do you think that it is better for you to stop taking these day trips?
Well, my thing is this. I know I’ve been forgiven. But I just don’t know if i(my pets in this case) will still have to suffer the consequences. If I knew “theologically “ that the Lord wouldn’t allow this to happen I could really move forward. Now, if it meant my pets would be doomed if I took the trip, then I’d definitely never go take the trips again. But if my repentance and forgiveness I’ve asked God for is enough to KEEP this from happening to my pets then I want to go enjoy myself. I don’t know what to do
 
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Mari17

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What do you think?
It sounds like OCD is doing what it likes to do best...taking a question that you cannot know the answer to, and trying to make you stop your life until you KNOW the answer. Which of course is not possible! Even if you got an answer, OCD would likely come up with something else for you to obsess about. However, sometimes I find that it can help to get a trusted person's opinion about the topic I am wondering about, so that I can have a logical and objective point of view to balance out my obsessive point of view. Have you been able to ask anyone, such as a minister or spiritual mentor, about this question?
 
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