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Trying to Conceive; feeling discouraged

Discussion in 'Pregnancy & Gynecological Issues' started by God'sdaughter, Feb 17, 2017.

  1. God'sdaughter

    God'sdaughter Praying for a gift from God

    19
    +5
    Christian
    Married
    My husband and I got married in 2015 (but we didn't have our wedding ceremony until January 2017). We have been trying to conceive (actively) since 2015. Meaning, no protection whatsoever. All my friends who are about the same age (36ish) have already given birth.

    Even my single (divorced) friend gave birth last year. I remember her telling me "it's okay that I got pregnant even if I don't have a partner [the guy is her ex-boyfriend but is married to someone else], at least I was able to experience the 'essence' of being a woman." I kept it to myself, but that comment hurt me so bad since my husband and I have already been TTC when she blurted that line. In return, I told her that we will try to conceive after the wedding in January is over. I didn't want to tell her that we are trying since she already said hurtful things.

    All my life I know that I really wanted a kid, but God hasn't answered our prayers. I had relationships in the past and I struggled many times to saying 'no' to doing it, because I wanted to chance it and have a kid. That didn't work out either. Even with my husband, we did not wait until we god married. I regret that we didn't, not only because I think God is punishing us for being disobedient, but also because I hate the fact that I know it hurts God.

    I still want to have a baby, but I am losing hope. I'm not sure anymore if God will still answer this prayer. I want to blame my past. I wonder if it would have made any difference if I had stayed pure until I married my husband. I am so down!!!

    Please pray with and for us. :-(
     
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  2. chevyontheriver

    chevyontheriver Well-Known Member Supporter

    +11,826
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    Contact Creighton University Medical School in Omaha. Dr Hilgers et al at Pope Paul VI institute. They have developed considerable skill in assisting natural conception. Do youself a favor and start by contacting them before you get roped into any other sort of fertility clinic that will do more invasive things. The NaProTechnology is not as invasive. You don't by any means have to be Catholic, although their methods (fertility awareness monitoring) are by design acceptable for Catholics.

    NaProTECHNOLOGY— A Major Breakthrough In Monitoring and Maintaining a Woman's Reproductive and Gynecological Health
    Pope Paul VI Institute for the Study of Human Reproduction
    - Welcome to FertilityCare™ Centers of America
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2017
  3. Sabertooth

    Sabertooth Repartee Animal: Quipping the Saints! Supporter

    +5,692
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    Have you ruled out/examined any fertility issues in your present plight? (With the exception of three historical individuals, momma and daddy's parts have to be working correctly to make this go.)
     
  4. CrystalDragon

    CrystalDragon Well-Known Member

    +1,604
    Catholic
    Single

    Don't blame your past. Don't feel like it's because God is punishing you. Such thoughts will only make you more miserable. Good and bad things happen to everyone, and not because people are being punished. If the world worked that way, then everyone who obeyed God would have fantastic lives and everyone who didn't would be miserable. Not the case, good and bad things happen to everyone.
     
  5. NothingIsImpossible

    NothingIsImpossible Well-Known Member

    +3,173
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    Yeah I'd check out issues in regards to things working right with your bodies. My cousin wasn't able to have a baby, turns out she had some sort of ovarian cyst thing that was stopping her. My wife and I have been married since 2013 and haven't used protection for over 2 years and no baby yet. We haven't checked medically yet though.

    Gods not punishing you. Its just life isn't perfect. Sometimes health problems get in the way of conceiving. Because sin exists in the world, health problems exist. There are lots of ways to conceive if worse came to worse. Including the VERY last resort of adoption. But your not to that point yet of course. See a OB/Gyn and also see if your husband can get a sperm count done. And I'd also read up online on, well to be blunt, sex positions that improve the odds of getting pregnant.

    Whatever the case keep your head up high and pray pray pray! :)
     
  6. God'sdaughter

    God'sdaughter Praying for a gift from God

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    T
    Thank you for sharing. We'll look into it.
     
  7. God'sdaughter

    God'sdaughter Praying for a gift from God

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    Actually, I had been told many time in the past that I had PCOS, but during my last appointment with a doctor (2 years ago), she told me that my ovaries are 'clear.' I doubt though whether her findings were right. I kinda blame it on my current situation that makes it difficult to believe her.
     
  8. God'sdaughter

    God'sdaughter Praying for a gift from God

    19
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    Thank you for the reminder. :)
     
  9. God'sdaughter

    God'sdaughter Praying for a gift from God

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    H
    Don't you feel frustrated?
     
  10. chevyontheriver

    chevyontheriver Well-Known Member Supporter

    +11,826
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    And I said that because lots of fertility clinic stuff starts with hormones and ends in in vitro fertilization, leaving behind frozen embryos and costs a bundle. The stuff that Hilger has developed in Omaha, on the other hand, starts with understanding the particulars of your natural cycle to seek evidence for why you have not conceived. Then to correct that, if possible. They often find some underlying simple and correctable issue that the other fertility clinics totally miss when they dive into expensive and profitable treatments.

    The essential first part is to chart your cycles. It's the basis of Natural Family Planning. There's even an app for that. You can then get an idea when ovulation happens. You are only fertile a couple of days right after that. It MAY be as simple as getting the timing down. Or it may be more complex. Might, for some reason, be impossible. These guys will figure it out and I'm guessing with less insult to your body and less cost and even less time.

    Your previous history, that is in the past. Nothing good will come of beating yourself up over it. Confess it and move on. God does not want to punish you. That's not His M.O. God has plans for you, even if that might mean adoption. Remember Hannah from the Bible, who was childless for a long long time, and became the mother of Samuel. Samuel's very name means 'God hears'. I can't say how this will all work out for you, but I do know that God does hear you and wants something good for you somehow. Do contact the Creighton guys and see what they can do. It might be worth it to visit Omaha, or maybe they have something much closer to home.
     
  11. NothingIsImpossible

    NothingIsImpossible Well-Known Member

    +3,173
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    Not really. I know ifs its meant to be, we will have one. But I also have accepted it may be a medical issue and for all we know she may not be able to have one. But He is a God of miracles of course. My wife would like one, many women have a strong maternal instinct to want a child. Especially when they see love stories or media that shows happy endings where a family has kids.

    And in my wifes case when she sees a baby it sends her mind into "Aww.... lets try again!". lol. Its a built in feature it seems. ^_^ We decided if worse comes to worse we will either adopt or bring her family over from her country so we can at least be an aunt and uncles to her siblings kids. I also think in our case God may being holding back because we aren't financially ready enough to have one just yet. Among some other issues.

    Don't give up though. Remember Sarah did not have a child until she was 90. Also see a doctor still.
     
  12. Sabertooth

    Sabertooth Repartee Animal: Quipping the Saints! Supporter

    +5,692
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    If and when your [bodies] are working correctly, it will come down to when God finally gives His okay. (This reality is what causes many to embrace the Quiverfull paradigm.)
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2017
  13. tansy

    tansy Senior Member

    +1,219
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    Married
    Aside from the very good advice from others above, things like stress and worry can also help prevent conception. I've heard of people trying for years to have a baby, then they adopt, and after that, lo and behold, they get pregnant! Perhaps because the pressure's off so they are not so anxious.
    Not saying this is necessarily the case with you of course, but perhaps something to also bear in mind.
     
  14. God'sdaughter

    God'sdaughter Praying for a gift from God

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    Thank you very much for sharing this information and for giving me hope. :)
     
  15. God'sdaughter

    God'sdaughter Praying for a gift from God

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    I agree with you. It must be a built in feature. I have the same features, too. :) Will continue on praying. Probably, we need to be more financially able, too. :)

    Those are good options, too!
     
  16. God'sdaughter

    God'sdaughter Praying for a gift from God

    19
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    May God continue to give me the patience I need. :)
     
  17. God'sdaughter

    God'sdaughter Praying for a gift from God

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    I wish there's a formula to eliminate stress in life. :) Will work on that, too. I'm an over thinker, so... :sorry:
     
  18. tansy

    tansy Senior Member

    +1,219
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    :) I know what you mean...there's stress and too much stress. I'm really stressed at the moment, too many problems going on. I tend to worry about everything. If I'm worrying about certain things sometimes, my husband says 'You'd worry about how the snow-plough driver gets to work in the morning' - To which I respond 'Yes, if there's deep snow, how DOES the snow-plough driver get into work, unless he has the plough parked up at home! :(. See, I also have a tendency to over-think and delve into all angles of every possible detail LOL.
    I do hope you do get your heart's desire :hug:
     
  19. Fourtimesblessed

    Fourtimesblessed New Member

    27
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    You could check for uterine polyps. I had one after my third child that kept me from getting pregnant for three years. I had a d and c and was pregnant in a month! Praying for you <3
     
  20. God'sdaughter

    God'sdaughter Praying for a gift from God

    19
    +5
    Christian
    Married
    Your overthinking ‘disorder’ is waaaayyyy worse than mine. :)
    I’m so happy to know that someone is more overthinker than I am. LOL Kidding aside, thank you for making me feel ‘normal’ and yes, crossing my fingers and hopefully my heart’s desire is aligned with God’s will. :)
     
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