Trouble With Niece

[seashale76]

I found out last night that his other personality did kiss her. My niece told me.. I don't want to have him arrested, I love him.. but I can't do this..

Thanks everyone who was giving support, I appreciate it.. To those who accused me of not doing enough, you have no idea. I've been on high alert since we took him to the hospital, and a little before. Or did you seem to forget that? I TOOK him to the hospital to get help. I told department of family and children services what he did and gave them the actual letter he wrote to her. I DID EVERYTHING I COULD. I was told he did nothing, but now i know otherwise.. and something HAS to be done now.

It just breaks my heart.. imagine if it was the person you loved who did that. How would you even feel? I can't believe this is even happening..

I mean after I talked to him about it, he was all nonchalant all "Well at least we know nothing more happened." And I asked why he isn't even upset by it if it was his personality, and he was like "Don't assume I'm not upset." When he was clearly laughing this morning and joking around with me. Something is way wrong..

It's difficult for us to know what you've done and not done because you reveal different information in every post. We're not in your head with you, so, no, we don't know. You reveal that you've done some things- but you haven't done enough yet.

You have come to a message board for advice on an extremely serious issue. Honestly, I think you know what you should do already. How you feel is actually irrelevant when it comes to what needs to be done. You have to put your feelings on the shelf and do the hard part. I'm sorry that I'm not as sympathetic to you as you'd like. I'm sympathetic to the child involved in this situation. I tend to get angry on the behalf of children who can't advocate for themselves, and who've been let down by the adults in their lives.

This guy lives with you too, doesn't he? You haven't said, but that's the impression you're leaving with us. Get him out of your house and away from this child, ASAP. You say you don't want to call the police. Well- what if he goes on to do something to another child? Could you live with that? It's not about you or your feelings anymore.

 

[Forealzchola]

You should report him...he could be doing this to other children other than your niece..maybe this is why you were concerned about them interacting because you knew deep down in your heart he could be a child molestor.His mental conditions have no excuse, all child molestors have some form of mental illness. You need to cut him off completely period...for yourself and your niece. Give him back to God THINK THEN ACT. God bless

 

[turkle]

You say that this man wrote an explicit letter to your 11 year old niece to get back at you for things in the past. Then you go on to say that you love him. He has kissed your neglected 11 year old niece. But you love him.

I am flabbergasted that you can love a man who will do this to a child to take revenge on you. It reveals that he will use innocent babies to satisfy his own wants. How you can stay with a man like this completely eludes me. His behavior is the beginning of a pattern that is very, very serious. MPD or not, I would get far, far away from a person who will use a child like this. I can only imagine what he would do to a child that you may have together. I shudder at the thought.

And then, to top it off, he doesn't sound like he's much bothered by his behavior, excusing it by saying "Don't assume I'm not upset". That is inappropriate.

You have worked hard to do the right thing, and I commend you on that. But if he is indeed shacking up with you and the little girl, then you haven't done enough. What ever "love" you feel for this man, the well being of a child far outweighs it. In your shoes I would get away from him at once, and then get into counseling to find out why I fell for a predator, so it never, ever happens again.

 

[BFine]

I fail to see why this man is still in your home?
Because if the facts of the matter don't have you pushing him out the door--
or moving out yourself--
I am clueless as to what would make you get away
from him???

I truly can not read any more of this.

 

[iambren]

I'm not a lawyer but consider this--would the Court want to prosecute you for facilitating the activity between your niece (a minor) and an adult (which is a felony I believe)?

You've been warned by many here...get out!

 

[seashale76]

I'm not a lawyer but consider this--would the Court want to prosecute you for facilitating the activity between your niece (a minor) and an adult (which is a felony I believe)?

You've been warned by many here...get out!

Very good point. I know teachers who even suspect that a child may be abused can be held legally liable for not reporting it. I should think that someone with verified knowledge who lives with a minor would not be immune from legal action.

 

[Avniel]

I know this is going to sound harsh but with a mental disorder as unpredictable as MPD how could you be so irresponsible? You had a man in your home that has more then one personality and allowed him to be alone with your 11 year old niece. This man is not in control of himself and I'm not saying he is the worst kind of monster or that this is even his fault. He is sick in the head he shouldn't have been allowed to even have any contact with an 11 year old. This is your creation he is not mentally able to even be charged for the crime.

And who knows he might just be a pedophile......

You need to put your big girl hat on and do what you have to do.

You are worried about your niece betraying you and your her aunt and you betrayed her for a man that isn't even whole.

THis is what happens when you get spiritually bound through sex with a persons demons. Spiritual attacks aren't always like what we see on the exorcist what you need to do is grab you better kick him out and pray over your house, have a pastor lay hands on you and your niece.

As well as call the police so your niece gets a rape kite.

The thing is they will charge him and he will get off but you they will let you....get it for the both of you.... you better tell or since your the only one with a functional cognitive in this situation you will get the book.

 

[Angelfrog]

I know it's hard to read what seem so many harsh comments, but sometimes we need something to be harsh in order to get the message loud and clear.

As I said before, you feel a lot for this guy- and, despite what you've told us about getting him to the hospital, authorities being informed and so on- I really do think that there's been a little bit of denial. It must be so hard to be in your shoes- but maybe this is God's way of saying to you 'That strength I promised you? Now's the time to show it'

The reason I say there seems to be some denial is that over the course of the thread you revealed that you already knew about his letter to your niece and that he'd said it was to get back at you, etc ... you clearly knew the way HE had acted- and yet look at the title you gave your thread:

'Trouble with niece'

Whether you intended it or not- that shows that you've put the problem on her shoulders till now. It didn't say 'Trouble with boyfriend' and even 'Trouble with boyfriend AND niece'

The poor kid hasn't caused any trouble. She's done nothing that you'd be surprised at a pre-adolescent hormonal kid with emotional issues doing. The trouble is- and clearly always has been- your boyfriend's very very inappropriate behaviour.

Let her be a child- don't burden her unfairly with matters and issues that you should be sharing with a mature adult, not a little girl- and BE the adult. Protect her. And that means stepping back from the mindset of her being the cause of part of the problem as much as physical and mental protection.