Trouble having sex first time

[Dave-W]

I meant the whole site!

They do allow it here. And IMO that is a good thing.

Faith Community Network did not allow much that way; instead they hocked it all off to themarriagebed [dot] com. It is a great site; but way too intense for many people's taste.

 

[Dave G.]

Really, is this the right forum to discuss sex?

What did God tell Adam and Eve to do ? That's right, have sex and plentifully, to fill His world with their offspring essentially. He has no issue with our sexuality it seems, it's religously legalistic man who thinks otherwise. Is it embarrassing to you ?

They do allow it here. And IMO that is a good thing.

Faith Community Network did not allow much that way; instead they hocked it all off to themarriagebed [dot] com. It is a great site; but way too intense for many people's taste.

I think themarriagebed is a breath of fresh air to what can be spiritually legalistic man made frigidity on the topic, straight out of the dark ages and as far as I'm concerned the withholding of sex is more satan speaking than God speaking.. God obviously had no issue with sexuality between man and woman/ husband and wife, since he told Adam and Eve to procreate and basically profusely. To enjoy each other. Nothing like getting a command from God to do it and do it often and letting them walk naked non the less LOL !! God doesn't have an issue with our bodies, we do. He created us to love one another, to have sex, gave us the parts to do it with and we come along and stuff it up with taboo brains. It's really rather silly on our part or for those who worry about that, since God endorses married sex. It may be obvious that I am not really among that mind set. Sorry if it bothers those who get embarrassed easy.

 

[Dave-W]

I think themarriagebed is a breath of fresh air to what can be spiritually legalistic man made frigidity on the topic, straight out of the dark ages and as far as I'm concerned the withholding of sex is more satan speaking than God speaking.

Yeah - I pretty much agree. TMB tried on a couple of occasions to recruit me to their over sight group - a combination of Mods for the posters to the board, and to also keep Paul and Lori in line doctrinally.

 

[Neostarwcc]

What did God tell Adam and Eve to do ? That's right, have sex and plentifully, to fill His world with their offspring essentially. He has no issue with our sexuality it seems, it's religously legalistic man who thinks otherwise. Is it embarising to you ?

I think themarriagebed is a breath of fresh air to what can be spiritually legalistic man made frigidity on the topic, straight out of the dark ages and as far as I'm concerned the withholding of sex is more satan speaking than God speaking.. God obviously had no issue with sexuality between man and woman/ husband and wife, since he told Adam and Eve to procreate and basically profusely. To enjoy each other. Nothing like getting a command from God to do it and do it often and letting them walk naked non the less LOL !! God doesn't have an issue with our bodies, we do. He created us to love one another, to have sex, gave us the parts to do it with and we come along and stuff it up with taboo brains. It's really rather silly on our part or for those who worry about that. It may be obvious that I am not really among that mind set. Sorry if it bothers those who get embarrassed easy.

Well sex is an embarrassing topic. I am a little embarrassed to admit that I have sex just like any other man. It shouldn't be embarrassing but it is. So I can see where Goatee is coming from. He is probably embarrassed to read about sex on a forum about Christianity. Still, sex is allowed to be discussed here and this is the proper forum for it so...

 

[Dave G.]

Yeah - I pretty much agree. TMB tried on a couple of occasions to recruit me to their over sight group - a combination of Mods for the posters to the board, and to also keep Paul and Lori in line doctrinally.

I know some of the things I say on this topic can be a bit much for some people but I have always been a very open person and quite frank about sexuality and sex matters. I'm 67 years old be 68 next spring, don't think it's gonna change anytime soon. God has always had a way of bringing me in line on other matters and has never bothered on this one. So what can I say except that He doesn't appear to be rejecting my position on the topic. Men and women are meant to be together, He created us that way. We should be embracing that not the opposite. Obviously it doesn't need to come into religious ceremony but here in the forum a lady had an issue and was looking for answers. That's a whole different matter and I think some folks gave her some sound advice that seems to have worked. So PTL rather than reject the ones who spoke. IMO.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

Too many Christians are.... prudish about sex and I am not sure why. Though I think it may steam from when we are raised and taught sex is bad, so once married we still feel awkward about discussing the issues despite the fact sex is normal and good. Its a gift from God for a couple. This awkwardness to discuss it is also why so many couples with sex issues end up having a worse marriage, because no one is willing to talk to them about it bluntly.

I mean I'm not going to go all out and discuss how my wife and do every little thing of course, but I will attempt to help others (and get help) when it comes to finer details. Though I may do so privately depending on the nature of the question. I know for my wife, who didn't even have sex ed in her country, there was ALOT she had to learn. I had to teach her and show her stuff online (as in educational stuff, not inappropriate content). This is because I really couldn't find a older christian woman to talk to her about sex.

Actually, one person who knows alot about sex is a pastor. They say often couples don't want to talk about sex issues with the pastor because of who he is. But hes the person you SHOULD talk to if as a couple you need help. You'd be surprised just how much a pastor hears about sex from couples who are seeking help. By that I mean things like "What is ok to do?". "What does the bible say about sex or frequency?" and so on.

BTW I have been to TMB myself and while its great, sometimes I do wonder about the people on it. Some have some pretty extreme views. Such as one time two couples recommended to another couple looking at inappropriate content to get aroused since the guy had a hard time getting "excited". None the less its a useful forum/site. On here theres 90% more restrictions about talking about sex. There is a sex section I think but its never used.

 

[RedPonyDriver]

@NothingIsImpossible I agree about the prudishness around sex...it's like most folks are told "no, no, no" and the minute the vows are said, it's "yes, yes, yes". That stuff can mess with your head. Imagine for the first 20-25 or so years of your life, you're told that sex is nasty, naughty, dirty, any sort of personal exploration is nasty, naughty, dirty, BIG SIN!!! Then you get married and it's all OK. Well, how can you change gears so quickly? That causes SO many issues. I've said it before and I'll say it again...I'm glad I took my time, enjoyed my singleness, learning and exploring over the years so when I finally did get married, I knew what I liked (and so did he...we lived together for awhile before marriage), and we'd had our fill of bad relationships, physically and otherwise.

 

[Dave-W]

Imagine for the first 20-25 or so years of your life, you're told that sex is nasty, naughty, dirty, any sort of personal exploration is nasty, naughty, dirty, BIG SIN!!! Then you get married and it's all OK.

Been there and lived that; as did my wife. The congregation where I attended in college and we got married at taught that you were not even supposed to have any kind of sexual thoughts or feelings until you say "I do." If you did it was the sin of lusting, and probably due to demonic lust and perversion.

The elders were known to even dissolve engagements if they thought the couple had physical desires for each other.

 

[RedPonyDriver]

Been there and lived that; as did my wife. The congregation where I attended in college and we got married at taught that you were not even supposed to have any kind of sexual thoughts or feelings until you say "I do." If you did it was the sin of lusting, and probably due to demonic lust and perversion.

The elders were known to even dissolve engagements if they thought the couple had physical desires for each other.

That's some strange stuff...sounds like a cult. But...it sort of proves my point. Can't be telling people that sex is dirty, nasty, etc. then immediately after they say "I do" it's all just fine. How do you go from 0 to 100 over the space of just a few hours?

 

[Dave-W]

How do you go from 0 to 100 over the space of just a few hours?

They believed in miracles - and blind obedience whether you felt like it or not. All physical feelings and emotions were considered to be fully by individual choice.

They publicly shamed people for masturbation or wet dreams.