Tried to fast. But i'm too selfish and lost to do it.

[archarios]

[nothing but self pity and whining ahead. but i have to get it out of my mind.]

i decided to fast from noon today to 11:59PM thursday because of a willfull, deliberate, preventable sin i commited. i couldn't even last a partial day. i'm too weak, and too disobedient, too concerned about my own physical and mental health, too wracked with anxiety to go a few hours without food for God.

ive tried and failed to fast a few times before, and i know it was longer than it needed to be for a "first" fast, but it should be easily possible. Well, it would be for any real child of God. i have everything to gain by believing in God and obeying him, *1(but i cant do it.

Thats what i hear every christian say: "I can't do it, so I pray to God for the strength and the grace to do it."

But thats what i did. Prayed for the strength and grace. and i failed God)1*, lied to His face, and made a vow i couldnt keep. But Christians aren't supposed to just sit around not doing anything while saying "I can't do it." Right? Real Christians do it. Real Christians have works to show. My only work as an ambassador of Christ is to be an insane, gluttonous, lazy, selfish failure.

*1. (This is what i'm supposed to do right? this is what i have to say, this is what i have to pray? am i misunderstanding Christianity as a whole or just this point?)

 

[tryphena rose]

[nothing but self pity and whining ahead. but i have to get it out of my mind.]

i decided to fast from noon today to 11:59PM thursday because of a willfull, deliberate, preventable sin i commited. i couldn't even last a partial day. i'm too weak, and too disobedient, too concerned about my own physical and mental health, too wracked with anxiety to go a few hours without food for God.

ive tried and failed to fast a few times before, and i know it was longer than it needed to be for a "first" fast, but it should be easily possible. Well, it would be for any real child of God. i have everything to gain by believing in God and obeying him, *1(but i cant do it.

Thats what i hear every christian say: "I can't do it, so I pray to God for the strength and the grace to do it."

But thats what i did. Prayed for the strength and grace. and i failed God)1*, lied to His face, and made a vow i couldnt keep. But Christians aren't supposed to just sit around not doing anything while saying "I can't do it." Right? Real Christians do it. Real Christians have works to show. My only work as an ambassador of Christ is to be an insane, gluttonous, lazy, selfish failure.

*1. (This is what i'm supposed to do right? this is what i have to say, this is what i have to pray? am i misunderstanding Christianity as a whole or just this point?)

I've failed a fast before too and I'm here to tell you, it's okay. It's easy to feel like a failure when we fail and it can leave a big open vulnerable spot for the enemy to jump right in and attack us. But rest assured, if you humble yourself and repent to God for your sins, He will forgive you.

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

I acknowledge my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah Psalm 35:5

For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee. Pslam 86:5

Here's a song I love to listen to when I feel I've sinned past forgiveness or if I feel I'm unworthy of His love. Have faith archarios, Jesus is with you.

 

[timewerx]

I also tried too fast and I got pulled over on the freeway by a cop...

If your body can tolerate it, fasting can do many wonders to the body and to the Spirit and drive away hard to get rid of evil spirits. Think about it.

 

[archarios]

I've failed a fast before too...

Thank you sister for those verses. i went the whole day not even touching a Bible. And not in some pious "i'm too unworthy to read God's Word." way. i just didnt. i always feel like an outsider, and like the Bible isn't "my" book. i don't cling to it like a Christian should. its not my place of refuge. i treat it like a burden. Lord God, please forgive my infinite sins and constant unbelief.

 

[tryphena rose]

Thank you sister for those verses. i went the whole day not even touching a Bible. And not in some pious "i'm too unworthy to read God's Word." way. i just didnt. i always feel like an outsider, and like the Bible isn't "my" book. i don't cling to it like a Christian should. its not my place of refuge. i treat it like a burden. Lord God, please forgive my infinite sins and constant unbelief.

I totally understand and can relate. Take comfort in knowing you're not alone. For all have sinned , and come short of the glory of God; Romans 3:23

I too have struggled through seasons of unbelief as well as difficulty opening my Bible. There was a time for me where I went months without reading the Word of God. But I prayed God would draw near to me and give me the strength so that I could draw near to Him. And in all His goodness and mercy, He answered me and granted me that strength. It took sometime, but I'm at a better place where I feel I ca turn to Him daily. You may not feel the strongest tomorrow or the next day, but have faith and little by little, God will strengthen your heart.

I'll be keeping you in my prayers brother.

 

[Matt5]

Practice.

I just stumbled onto this whole fasting thing when going on a diet. Skip breakfast for a week. The next week skip lunch too. Now you're on the OMAD diet - one meal a day. It's all a mental thing. Drink coffee, diet soda, carbonated water and/or regular water when hungry.

YouTube has a lot of videos on fasting. It's a real thing. Check it out for tips on dealing with hunger.

 

[~Anastasia~]

We have a long tradition of fasting within Orthodoxy. So there is much wisdom to help.

One thing I found very beneficial is that we regularly fast not from all food (which can weaken the body too much for some and end up being more of a distraction) ... but we often fast from meat, dairy, cheese, eggs, olive oil, and fish. Essentially one could eat vegetables, legumes, nuts, bread. It can be thought of as a kind of "Daniel fast". The body won't be weakened so much that prayer, Church, etc. will be compromised. But for most people it is enough of a battle with the will that a lot of discipline is gained.

And "failure" can actually be instructive also. Particularly in developing humility, and learning that we can't depend upon ourselves.

Just a few thoughts, in case they help. God be with you!

 

[FireDragon76]

We have a long tradition of fasting within Orthodoxy. So there is much wisdom to help.

One thing I found very beneficial is that we regularly fast not from all food (which can weaken the body too much for some and end up being more of a distraction) ... but we often fast from meat, dairy, cheese, eggs, olive oil, and fish. Essentially one could eat vegetables, legumes, nuts, bread. It can be thought of as a kind of "Daniel fast". The body won't be weakened so much that prayer, Church, etc. will be compromised. But for most people it is enough of a battle with the will that a lot of discipline is gained.

And "failure" can actually be instructive also. Particularly in developing humility, and learning that we can't depend upon ourselves.

Just a few thoughts, in case they help. God be with you!

Human beings have been fasting for millions of years- before civilization, people did not eat regular meals, they ate when food was available. It's actually very normal to go without food. When we fast, our body can use the energy used for digestion, for other things. Animals that are forced to fast in laboratories actually live longer and there is less cellular damage as the body becomes more efficient at using energy.

Assuming your body has stores of fat (most do), your body won't really be weakened by abstaining from food. In fact people often find they have more energy when they go without food, and this make sense as it would not be useful for survival to become lethargic without eating, since hunting and gathering takes energy.

I've been working with biofeedback (Heartmath's emWave) and I've found it's easier to restrict what I eat now, because I'm just more mindful of unconscious processes going on. Often I skip dinner altogether and I don't feel miserable. Because I notice that a great deal of eating isn't about hunger at all, but about psychological conditioning from our culture and using food as a reward. And working with biofeedback gives me positive feelings that are rewarding without having to eat something that I don't really need to eat.

 

[FireDragon76]

Thank you sister for those verses. i went the whole day not even touching a Bible. And not in some pious "i'm too unworthy to read God's Word." way. i just didnt. i always feel like an outsider, and like the Bible isn't "my" book. i don't cling to it like a Christian should. its not my place of refuge. i treat it like a burden. Lord God, please forgive my infinite sins and constant unbelief.

My pastor would probably say you are in danger of trying to earn your repentance. You're trying to feel worthy of forgiveness instead of just accepting it. This is just another way to indulge in being egocentric. Instead of focusing on your own sinfulness and how you can change that, look at how you can start to be more accepting of yourself and other people.

 

[~Anastasia~]

Human beings have been fasting for millions of years- before civilization, people did not eat regular meals, they ate when food was available. It's actually very normal to go without food. When we fast, our body can use the energy used for digestion, for other things. Animals that are forced to fast in laboratories actually live longer and there is less cellular damage as the body becomes more efficient at using energy.

Assuming your body has stores of fat (most do), your body won't really be weakened by abstaining from food. In fact people often find they have more energy when they go without food, and this make sense as it would not be useful for survival to become lethargic without eating, since hunting and gathering takes energy.

I've been working with biofeedback (Heartmath's emWave) and I've found it's easier to restrict what I eat now, because I'm just more mindful of unconscious processes going on. Often I skip dinner altogether and I don't feel miserable. Because I notice that a great deal of eating isn't about hunger at all, but about psychological conditioning from our culture and using food as a reward. And working with biofeedback gives me positive feelings that are rewarding without having to eat something that I don't really need to eat.

Well there's a whole long conversation that could be had about all that. I'm not really inclined. Yes people have eaten different diets and on a different schedule during human history. I've been on Keto now for a year and a half and when the cells metabolize fat easily, it's easy to go without food. Intermittent fasting is common on Keto and I basically do it all the time without even intending. I regret that it actually weakens the benefit I used to receive from fasting for spiritual reasons, but it's necessary for me medically right now.

But. The way most people eat these days, their bodies are not working that way. Fasting from all food short term will throw them into different metabolic states that often (especially short term) are a source of distraction rather than spiritual strength.

Anyway. Just offering a little help in the short term to the OP, since that seemed to be what was wanted. Christians have been using fasting since the beginning of Christianity, carrying on fasts from Judaism, so it's a practice of many, many centuries. So if some of that wisdom can help, it's available.

God be with you. Forgive me, I hope I don't sound like I'm arguing.

 

[FireDragon76]

Well there's a whole long conversation that could be had about all that. I'm not really inclined. Yes people have eaten different diets and on a different schedule during human history. I've been on Keto now for a year and a half and when the cells metabolize fat easily, it's easy to go without food. Intermittent fasting is common on Keto and I basically do it all the time without even intending. I regret that it actually weakens the benefit I used to receive from fasting for spiritual reasons, but it's necessary for me medically right now.

But. The way most people eat these days, their bodies are not working that way. Fasting from all food short term will throw them into different metabolic states that often (especially short term) are a source of distraction rather than spiritual strength.

Anyway. Just offering a little help in the short term to the OP, since that seemed to be what was wanted. Christians have been using fasting since the beginning of Christianity, carrying on fasts from Judaism, so it's a practice of many, many centuries. So if some of that wisdom can help, it's available.

God be with you. Forgive me, I hope I don't sound like I'm arguing.

Total fasting might not be for everyone. I just think there's an inbuilt tendency to panic over the idea of not eating, and that's part of where the resistance comes from. We see fasting as a negative experience, a punishment, instead of the positive thing it can be, in tune with the natural flow of our bodies and nature.

Prayer and meditation should accompany fasting, then you'll start to have more energy and not have a reactive mind. Seeking out less stimulation in your life also helps. What won't help are negative feelings of self-condemnation.

 

[~Anastasia~]

Total fasting might not be for everyone. I just think there's an inbuilt tendency to panic over the idea of not eating, and that's part of where the resistance comes from. We see fasting as a negative experience, a punishment, instead of the positive thing it can be, in tune with the natural flow of our bodies and nature.

Prayer and meditation should accompany fasting, then you'll start to have more energy and not have a reactive mind. Seeking out less stimulation in your life also helps. What won't help are negative feelings of self-condemnation.

Good points.

We can also panic over not eating what we want - especially with the typical Orthodox fasting rhythms.

You are very right to point out the necessary addition of prayer and focus in the right ways.

It's funny (not humorous) how self-condemnation can actually have its roots in or else feed a kind of pride. Either way, it's not helpful when it makes us self-focused as opposed to God-focused.

 

[Caleb23]

[nothing but self pity and whining ahead. but i have to get it out of my mind.]

i decided to fast from noon today to 11:59PM thursday because of a willfull, deliberate, preventable sin i commited. i couldn't even last a partial day. i'm too weak, and too disobedient, too concerned about my own physical and mental health, too wracked with anxiety to go a few hours without food for God.

ive tried and failed to fast a few times before, and i know it was longer than it needed to be for a "first" fast, but it should be easily possible. Well, it would be for any real child of God. i have everything to gain by believing in God and obeying him, *1(but i cant do it.

Thats what i hear every christian say: "I can't do it, so I pray to God for the strength and the grace to do it."

But thats what i did. Prayed for the strength and grace. and i failed God)1*, lied to His face, and made a vow i couldnt keep. But Christians aren't supposed to just sit around not doing anything while saying "I can't do it." Right? Real Christians do it. Real Christians have works to show. My only work as an ambassador of Christ is to be an insane, gluttonous, lazy, selfish failure.

*1. (This is what i'm supposed to do right? this is what i have to say, this is what i have to pray? am i misunderstanding Christianity as a whole or just this point?)

Fasting can also be giving up things like Video games, music , activities and stuff like that.

 

[bèlla]

I’ve fasted on several occasions for different durations. For spiritual dilemmas I would fast 3 days in a row and do a boiler room styled prayer on the hour.

At other times I would fast from sunrise to sunset three days per week for an allotted time. And I had designated days within the week that I would fast for a season or until the Lord told me to cease.

However, there are moments when I forgot. This often happened on Friday fasts. I’d find myself having a bite to eat and remember my intention. Sometimes I’d move it forward or put the food away.

I’m accustomed to eating once or twice per day. Fasting isn’t difficult but its been a while since I’ve done it. However, it’s a wonderful practice and I gained much fruit from its maintenance.

 

[PeacefulHope]

I had a season of fasting far too much whilst on a ketogenic no carbohydrate diet... The Lord pulled me out of it forcefully, and my mother now forbids me from doing it. The reason why, is because I started asking her everyday to do it, (being a youth) and I was attacked mercilessly- having demonic visions, strange night terrors etc. I still suffer these, but now I'm begging the Lord for mercy, praying for a time when I can sanctify a fast again. But I cannot help but cry, because I see myself becoming more fleshly... Oh dear, beloved brother, or sister... The Lord Jesus tells us that "No man putteth a piece of a new garment upon an old: if otherwise, then both the new maketh a rent, and the piece that was taken out of the new agreeth not with the old." Luke 5:36
I may be judged for this, but I was not strong enough- my illness worsened, I became underweight and I nearly died. I don't know why I can't fast, but I think it is to humble me- I'm very, very prideful.
Let us trust the Lord Jesus- some people don't fast at all for illness, for blood sugar issues, etc. The Lord always hears our prayers, He may be teaching you something. God bless you in truth.