Thanks for the responses guys.
DaBronx said:
But...if he is mentally ill, why does your finace let him "get" to you both???
It's so complicated. Her dad is just far to entwined in her life. She is driven mad by him but then is protective as well. She feels this enormous responsibility for sorting his life out, to the point that she ends up losing perspective and carries what is a thankless burden.
Hope_0004 said:
So what actually caused you to break up?
Her dad's a joiner by trade but hasn't worked for 17 years since he and Nic's mum broke up. Since then he's lived as a recluse, consumed by negativity, paranoia and contempt for others.
Nic wanted to get her dad out of this and a friend of my parents' had a house that needed doing up which she was then going to rent to us after the wedding. Nic arranged for her dad to come and do the work as a way of getting him back into the real world. My parents agreed to put him up. Eventually he drove them mad because he
does not stop talking. Literally. I know people say that about chatty people but I'm trying to get across that this more than that. This is pathological. And he talks about the same things for hours, never finishing a sentence and slagging off even his loved ones. It's constant negativity.
Eventually, my sister who is carrying her 2nd baby was haemorraghing and on the same day my mum's friend went into hospital with a brain tumour. My dad told Nic's dad that he and my mum needed a bit of time alone just to chat. He didn't give it to them. Instead, as soon as my mum got in, he just started off on the same old things so my dad lost his temper and they had an argument.
From there things just went downhill. He was constantly slagging my entire family off to Nic. Nic was getting sick and tired of him. Eventually he slagged off my parents to me and I went beserk and absolutely blasted him (verbally). He argued with Nic, my parents and the woman who owns the house, so he just ran away back to London, leaving his daughter in the lurch.
The following day, Easter Sunday, me and Nic went over to my parents' for dinner. Everything was fine and then Nic just suddenly got upset and said some awful things to my parents, really screaming. She ran out and I went after her and we were driving away which was really scary because the way she was driving was insane. I made her stop and go back. We both got really upset and I said "This won't work like this." We drove back to my parents' and I phoned my mum and asked her to come and talk to Nic without my dad. Mum came out and they chatted and eventually things seemed a bit calmer so we went back in. My dad was really upset about what had happened. Nic gave what did sound like a false apology (it actually wasn't but the way she phrased it was unfortunate). My dad just said very quietly "I've never been talked to like that before". And that was that really. This wound Nic up again and she muttered a few things. We went into the living room and then Nic lost it again. She ran outside and tried to rip the wingmirror of my dad's car and she was screaming and yelling. I begged her to stop saying that she was killing me. She turned around and said "screw you. Go and talk to your dad about why I've done this and then you can come back to me". She went and got in her car and drove off. I, much to my shame, just collapsed absolutely sobbing in the street. The neighbours had to go and get my dad to come and bring me in.
I just feel destroyed.
h2