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Today I feel good

Discussion in 'Psychosis and Schizophrenia' started by Bridgida, Aug 26, 2020.

  1. Bridgida

    Bridgida New Member

    96
    +25
    Christian
    In Relationship
    I didn't take my meds last night and feel perfect. Normally with Schizophrenia, it is all about voices, but with me it is all about feelings and the voices come on second place.

    I just want to talk about me, and privately I would need to pay for counseling. I tried to contact a Christian Counseling center, but haven't managed it. I try it here instead.

    What I want is to talk about me and interact with other people who might have similar experiences.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I used to get beaten up as a child. So from the age of 8 to 12 I got beaten up by a girl/boy gang, my age. And I was bad in this school. I just earned bad marks. And so it was in the next school. We moved and there it was a bit similar. Bad children and me bad in school. So I must have then developed paranoia very early on, because of it and this is what I want to talk with a therapist about it, in order to control the paranoia and any other feelings or symptoms.

    I tend to hear screaming when I come into the estate I live in. Or when I know someone from another estate and I have to pass this estate. The voices years ago were telling me I should move out, in an aggressive way. I still can hear noises when I go out of the estate or go into the estate. It is not anymore so bad, but it is worth talking about.
    And I take meds for 10m years now and most voices are gone or under control and I don't get agitated by paranoia.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    What else.
    I suffer from fear when I go to clients or a job. I am sick of it and it cost me a lot of energy. I don't understand why I have this and I want to learn to deal with the fear better, or get no fear. Someone said I could do Karate, but I am 50 years old now. That my fear of people might have something to do with my early experiences. The problem is how do I control this?
    I am here now in a different country. Of course I think of changing job, but to learn something new takes time. I think to get rid of fear is the most difficult thing. Tomorrow I will be out working with several clients and on Saturday I have a job interview. So, I think I have to find out more about fear and how to control it.
     
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. splish- splash

    splish- splash Master's protege Supporter

    +1,276
    United Kingdom
    Christian
    Private
    Im sorry you're going through this. I also do know the Lord would like to re-write your history for you. :crosseo:
     
  3. Unqualified

    Unqualified Well-Known Member Supporter

    822
    +389
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    I can do all things in Christ who strengthen me.
    Fear not for I am with you be not dismayed for I an your God, I will strengthen yo yea, I will help you. Yea I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Is a 41:10
    God has not given me a spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind. Say and believe them until feeling confident.
     
  4. Bridgida

    Bridgida New Member

    96
    +25
    Christian
    In Relationship
    Thank you, I got an appointment for counseling next week. The last 2 weeks were not bad, the fear under control. I talked with my doctor and felt straight away better. Menas I just need counseling.
     
  5. Bridgida

    Bridgida New Member

    96
    +25
    Christian
    In Relationship
    I start seeing a psychologist and I was talking about the same emotional issues about 15 years ago when I started to get therapy and got my meds. Now with the meds I feel guilty, weak, bad and scared. Without the meds, I feel confident. A feeling I was searching for.
    And I never again want to be burdened with too many useless feelings.
    So I have to go to the bank and do some shopping and go to the chemist to get my meds, but I really would like to try for a while without them. I was even searching for this word. So feeling confident is a big thing for me. blitztricks-wohnung.jpg
     
  6. Bridgida

    Bridgida New Member

    96
    +25
    Christian
    In Relationship
    It is a big thing for me when I feel good, as often I can feel bad. Like this evening, I feel negative.
    I often think very positively as the downside is so painful and I take medication.
     
  7. Bridgida

    Bridgida New Member

    96
    +25
    Christian
    In Relationship
    for me feeling well is a big thing. 2 months ago I was verbally attacked by an Arab boy in Oxford Street, in London. And I was so positive that I wanted to hug him. I simply could not believe what just happened to me.
    When I was mentally poorly, always depressed, feeling guilty, and scared, I should have gotten Electrochock treatment. Because the funny thing is. I had this for years since I was given Abilify.
    the psychologist said I should do sport and I never did as I do housekeeping.
    These days I work in a hotel whose lift is most of the time broken. Most of the time I am alone cleaning the rooms and I feel perfect. I am stable now. I still take my meds, but I am stable. No depression, no panic and just sometimes guilt feelings. So, you have to make 8 hours of sport every day, that really helps. My knees hurts, my back hurts and I get some healing for this, but I am happy.
    In the past I really suffered and I really should have gotten Electro Shock treatment as it went on and on, without a brake. And no the bad feelings have stoped, I am stable now for 6 months.
     
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