To the guys! Have you held a girls hand or had her put her arm around yours?

[Quiet Soul]

I wanted to ask this question because it seems quite odd for me to have to go back to 2016 for this to have happen at a wedding in which I was in. Besides, I was quite shocked she did it in the first place. (I was a groomsman, she was a bridesmaid). That was and is the only time it happened and it may never happen again which is what I want. Yet, has anyone on this forum who has never dated with no interest in dating ever had this happen to them? I am just wondering.

 

[Occams Barber]

I wanted to ask this question because it seems quite odd for me to have to go back to 2016 for this to have happen at a wedding in which I was in. Besides, I was quite shocked she did it in the first place. (I was a groomsman, she was a bridesmaid). That was and is the only time it happened and it may never happen again which is what I want. Yet, has anyone on this forum who has never dated with no interest in dating ever had this happen to them? I am just wondering.

Sometimes the things you've described can be significant - sometimes not. You were both in the 'official' wedding party which may have caused a certain amount of commonality which led to the contact. Think of it as mutual support or a need for reassurance in a stressful situation rather than a romantic gesture.

What I am more concerned about is that, after 6 years, you are still obsessing about a fleeting contact. To me this says a lot about your attitude to the opposite sex and leaves me wondering if you have an internal conflict going on about relationships.

This doesn't mean I'm suggesting you give up your celibacy, but you may need to try to better understand the problems which can occur when you struggle against a natural urge.

OB

 

[bèlla]

Maybe I’m missing something. I’ve had periods of singleness when dating wasn’t a priority. My mind was elsewhere and I went about my life. It wasn’t foremost or frequently discussed. I made a decision and that’s it.

But I’m left to wonder if some of the people insisting they’re called to singleness or don’t want to date are struggling in that area. Especially when its reiterated frequently. Are you trying to convince us or yourself? Sometimes it doesn’t sound natural.

It’s okay to be uncertain or afraid. Don’t paint yourself in a box or force yourself to take a stance you’re warring with internally. Celibacy isn’t tumultuous. You’re given grace to bear it and peace in that state. If that’s lacking you need to do some soul searching. Maybe you’re wrong.

~bella

 

[Sketcher]

I wanted to ask this question because it seems quite odd for me to have to go back to 2016 for this to have happen at a wedding in which I was in. Besides, I was quite shocked she did it in the first place. (I was a groomsman, she was a bridesmaid). That was and is the only time it happened and it may never happen again which is what I want. Yet, has anyone on this forum who has never dated with no interest in dating ever had this happen to them? I am just wondering.

Giving a lady your arm and her taking it is common. Ushers at weddings have done that for grandmas. Kids in high school plays do that. I don't find that intrusive, though I do find unsolicited hugs to be intrusive; there's a time and a place for that, either on a date or at a funeral.

 

[DragonFox91]

Nope, never.

 

[Saucy]

I remember in high school, a good friend of mine (female) saw me walking down the hallway to my next class, and she came up and wrapped her arm around mine and walked with me for some time. I had a thing for her and asked her out before, but she wasn't interested. It was an odd experience since we weren't dating and I would've taken a male and female walking arm-in-arm with each other as a sign of intimacy. But perhaps she was just comfortable with me as a friend. It still felt good.

 

[ReesePiece23]

Unless you've lived in a wellington boot at the end of the garden your entire life, then I don't understand how one could ever avoid it.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

But I’m left to wonder if some of the people insisting they’re called to singleness or don’t want to date are struggling in that area.

~bella

Going to have to agree with that, especially with the recent person actually praying against having a girlfriend. It made me do a double take. I often wonder if it just makes them feel better to just avoid dating altogether and somehow calling upon the Lord to do this makes it work for them....as opposed to just saying they are simply giving up on their romantic interactions with women. That they are using as it a guise.

 

[KJ91]

No and its never gonna happen. Im just too ugly for any woman to accept me.

 

[bèlla]

Going to have to agree with that, especially with the recent person actually praying against having a girlfriend. It made me do a double take. I often wonder if it just makes them feel better to just avoid dating altogether and somehow calling upon the Lord to do this makes it work for them....as opposed to just saying they are simply giving up on their romantic interactions with women. That they are using as it a guise.

It isn’t necessary to pray against companionship if you’re called to singleness or choose that life. The bible says the same in Matthew 19.

The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”

When we pray against something we’re invoking heavenly assistance for the things that oppose us or God’s will for our lives. The request can’t contradict the word. Which it does in this case.

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.

The prayer won’t be answered because its moot or they’re in denial.

~bella

 

[lifebeyond]

Going to have to agree with that, especially with the recent person actually praying against having a girlfriend. It made me do a double take. I often wonder if it just makes them feel better to just avoid dating altogether and somehow calling upon the Lord to do this makes it work for them....as opposed to just saying they are simply giving up on their romantic interactions with women. That they are using as it a guise.

Since this is my first post I will go defending this op. Not sure if it is the post from Quiet Soul but sure that historyincognito posted the praying against a girlfriend in 2017.

 

[Jonaitis]

Going to have to agree with that, especially with the recent person actually praying against having a girlfriend. It made me do a double take. I often wonder if it just makes them feel better to just avoid dating altogether and somehow calling upon the Lord to do this makes it work for them....as opposed to just saying they are simply giving up on their romantic interactions with women. That they are using as it a guise.

That's not fair. There are people who genuinely don't care about that kind of stuff, and it makes them uncomfortable to be forced to think that they should want it. I feel for the guy, honestly.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Since this is my first post I will go defending this op. Not sure if it is the post from Quiet Soul but sure that historyincognito posted the praying against a girlfriend in 2017.

Well, I'm not really sure how I should take these kinds of posts...if they are for real, well...no offense, but I can't help but to think these are kind of....how can I put it lightly....a self-pity post?

 

[ThisIsMe123]

It isn’t necessary to pray against companionship

Right, and to post about it....just seems a bit unusual. I mean, why even make it a post? Just for the purpose of creating a controversial topic? I was like "Okay, where is this guy going with this?"

 

[ThisIsMe123]

That's not fair. There are people who genuinely don't care about that kind of stuff, and it makes them uncomfortable to be forced to think that they should want it. I feel for the guy, honestly.

But why pray AGAINST it? If anything, it isn't necessary. Just don't do anything, that's it.