To Sing or Not To Sing?

Feb 3, 2016
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Northern Idaho
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So, I've been singing in church since I was a little girl. I'm an alto and I don't think I sound too bad. I don't sing off key, and I don't screech or sing too loud. I really enjoy singing in the Christian community Christmas cantata every year. I always have a solo and people have told me that I did really well. I used to perform regularly in church and monthly singspiration meetings, but I recently have lost all desire to sing. I used to get a few (just a few) compliments, but I don't believe that the compliments are a true measure of how good my performance was.

Now, stop...before you respond. It isn't supposed to be about the performance and how good I am. This, I know and earnestly practice! Its' for God's glory and worship, but I believe you need to do your best, and prepare yourself (there's so many Bible verses on that!) and I practice and practice, but I don't know if I should really be singing. Basically, I don't think my best is good enough and I think people are just being...kind or polite when they compliment me.

What brought this on? You're going to laugh. I bought a microphone for my little music studio (Me and my daughter both play piano, guitar, bass and record music.) so my daughter could have some fun singing and recording. When she was at school today, I got on there and recorded myself singing a few different hymns. The first one....I cringed and almost cried! I mean, I almost had a melt-down it was so awful! So, I thought, ok...bad song, or it was out of my range and I wasn't prepared. So I did a different hymn in a lower key and it wasn't too bad, but there were a lot of parts that my voice wavered, the tone changed and volume wasn't consistent. This could all be due to amateur recording abilities, as I've never recorded myself before....but the general tone of my voice was just....UGH! I couldn't stand to hear myself.

I asked my tone deaf husband if he honestly thought I sounded bad and of course he just shrugged and said, 'Nah...you sing better than anyone else here in town.' Which, let me tell you IS NOT true. I think he was worried supper might get burnt for telling me the truth; then again, he may not know because he's tone deaf. lol

Anyway, I read that what you hear in your skull....for when you sing, your voice, is a little different than what other's hear....so that worried me. I'm wondering if I should go see a voice trainer and get an honest, unbiased opinion/assessment from a stranger so I'm not wasting my time. I hate to sing in front of church and put people in serious agony. I know it is the message that is important...the ministry to others via music and lyric...but my Dad always said that if something is being done in a poor manner which leaves people fixated on the execution and not the message, then you shouldn't be doing it or you need to prepare more.

Advice? Suggestions? Prayers appreciated!!!