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to be a christian and have the messiah delusion

Discussion in 'Psychosis and Schizophrenia' started by xounstaer, Dec 5, 2011.

  1. someguy14

    someguy14 Guest


    Maybe avoid a version of a book of thomas and focus on The Word given to us.

    It is all for the glory of God The Father. Those that say otherwise, aren't of God.

    Matthew 12:50
    For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.

    May God bless.
  2. xounstaer

    xounstaer his qualities..

    i think it is good to read as much as one can. gods word is far broader then the bible. the bible is just a set of books picked by some pope.

    but then still i believe confusion has a purpose.

    but this wasnt about confusion. or deciet.

    this is about a delusion in which is no deciet or confusion. i am calling it a delusion myself.

    but for me it doenst end there.

    but honestly i dont exactly get it to who you speak these words someguy14...

  3. someguy14

    someguy14 Guest

    You've cut me off with that.
    God isn't the author of confusion.

    God is the only good.
  4. xounstaer

    xounstaer his qualities..

    do we know what confusion is then?

    there's many forms of confusion. one can be confused and pick thewrong food for diner. one can be confused and will need to think for a while to be in order again, which can be a productive way of getting wiser.

    one may want to do something horible but get confused first and do something else which may be good.

    the world may be confused and acting all strange. one can also confuse the world first.

    i know i am not confused though.
    and i must certainle arent decieving anyone. and i havent been decieved either. that's not possible. i speak actual facts beside the just the word messiah.

    i dont need the word if it matters for real or enough. i mean i can pray anyway. so can i do the rest. that may even help me.

    but then why not just throw out the prophecies that tell jeus would return. or state that they have been fullfilled. thats ok with me.

    i can imagine how all will go.
    and what a joy it may bring in each's heart. and i wouldnt have to be bothering anyone anymore. and perhaps be satisfied.

    i hope people realise that jesus is with them and that and that he is here whenever he lives.

    i know what i mean. but i will still allways remain with theknowledge and the thought of delusion. unless somebody or god cares enough to know, understand and feedback seriously.

    i am allready very happy with what i've red so far.
    i'll see if i can get realer over and over. but maybe its no use and i keep stuck.

    well i know right from wrong and precious from worthless.
    and it does me very good to know that i amnot alone in this. and that there are actually other people quite simillar to me. who are also realistic within it.

    i also only believe in a good god..
  5. xounstaer

    xounstaer his qualities..

    i thought i was done talking here about this. but this stays.

    i am learning more to find my way through or around this.

    another aspect which may be important is trying to be lik jesus. it is goo dto try and be like him right? where i guess there comes a certain kind of feelin gwith that.

    even a certain karma or look comes with that i guees.
    where i may have indeed been confused about. feeling different, feling apart, witnessing certain experiences. having no easy life.

    finding religious people being the same as the pharisees. believing in jesus/believing in me.

    i would have found the perfect combination of perfect believe. grabbing that which paul wanted to have.

    cannot be proven as lie cannot be proves as truth. well there is something to say for either opinion i guess.

    if i choose to believe the messiah of god is me. and that i am the chosen one and have all the power on earth. it's merely a choose.

    what would be more wise as believer in christ is to give him the honor he deserves. it is him who led me toward believing and wlking this strugling path. i made the mistake to let it be me on top. that is wrong i guess, and the strugles that coem with it. as to me thinking i ruined jesus. since he was god's only begotten.

    i agree i am not the messiah, but can one help me how i can talk about this matter. and this psychose i have.

    looking at a star. thinking of three wise man. being a shiner. seeing the sun (for real that's not a lie..)

    seeing the sun supernaturally is basicly what has kept me believing in these issues.
    i cannot say goodbye to them, that would not be right. bu perhaps i can be like paul.

    and keep my believe in timothy and filemon. and all the wonders i saw in it. perhaps i can leran to put it in a perspective which is right and pure truth.

    meaning i was confused with being the messiah due to this psychosis, but most of all the experiences within it.

    every human has a message to carry out.

    if one wishes to give me a hand in learning how to carry out these things right. that would be great.

    i think i am allready on the way. i've been thinking a lot about this, and how other people think about it. but if i can truly find some ways that can replace the thought of me being worldleader and messiah. then those i must keep.

    i believe in jesus, he came first in my life and i wouldnt have had any of this without him.

    (i wnted to open a thread about me crying and being sensative...)
  6. raych

    raych Newbie

    Hey bro been pretty busy last few days ay i read your reply through email though... Looks like you have a lot of information bunched up in your head. I’m betting it can be quite overwhelming at times. It’s a struggle to get to that place where you can have the pure normality (the underlying silence that everyone else enjoys / takes for granted) but it’s do-able.

    So when I typed 'it is finished' I didn't quote myself right? Jesus himself said it.
    He didn't say 'oh nooo i still have to come back later' or ‘but I will return to finish’ he said 'it is finished'. It isn’t that the world has to stop turning before Gods work is completed.
    'It is finished' wasn't just a sigh of relief for Jesus, in a way it was a declaration of victory. An establishment of the fact; that man can now be reconciled to god through his sacrifice. He made salvation available for all mankind.
    Now when you say ‘acts just began’ and he needs return>> what exactly did you mean by ‘acts just began’?

    See this; you quote john 3.16 ‘one and only begotten son’ and then ask ‘who can it be?’ adding Jesus was the 1st begotten one. ???

    Come on Stien…. It says ‘one and only’ emphasis on ONLY clearly stating there is only ONE begotten son. That who so ever believes in HIM may have eternal life. So if Jesus is the 1st one then he is also the ONLY one.

    Now we know we can go to heaven because basically Jesus is our ticket there right?. Salvation is not just for after this life though is it?
    Salvation is to be lived in the here and now.
    Salvation is a way of living;; free of the weight of sin and all the baggage and dreadful ways of living that comes with that sin. Now we can live here in joy and have peace walking with god who can play an active role in our lives.

    There will be an end of time, we know this and Jesus the ‘one and ONLY be gotten’ will return for his people the bible tells us so.
    So the question is not when? or how? … The question is ‘what about everyone who doesn’t know him?’.

    This is our calling ‘to be fishers of men’, spread the good news. Nothing more bro. Tell the world about Jesus because that is the only way salvation is available.

    Well dunno what else to say till nex time... take it easy ay bro!! am open to everything you wanna say or release kk will def be real with you!!
  7. xounstaer

    xounstaer his qualities..

    thank for your reply raych.

    i have not much to say now, when i do have new thought supon this i'll post it here.

    for the rest i think you'rr right though if i speak out of psychosis i would disagree. if i dont speak out of psychose; i know you're right.

    for the last remaining question though, tou say jesus will return. you see and thats where i stuble upon thinking that's me. or that was me at least..

    i can move on though, see it as a fase i lived. and even use it when i confess about jesus in my life..

  8. raych

    raych Newbie

    naww much has been said on this thread since our last exchange I just had a quick skim over it....

    I pray inside as i reply, for more of god and less of me... I can't assume great scriptural knowledge or anything I just know that my heart is moved for you. Maybe because I understand the struggles of psychosis? or maybe it's just that I have a problem with trying to help others :L i'm such a loser haha if you knew me you'd laugh. My partner often has to tell me to settle and leave people alone. I get sooo caught up in trying to help my family etc that I forget they belong to god not me and i should just kick back.. I must say people can't truly know what it's like unless they've been there... at least thats what I think?? So if you wanna release maybe we can help decipher things into str8 lines for you? kk
  9. xounstaer

    xounstaer his qualities..

    what does kk mean?

    putting things in straight lines sounds good. but where should i start?
    i guess if i want all to be straightened out, then i have to admit that it's bigger then just thinking i am the returnal of jesus/messiah/elia.

    ofcourse much more comes around the corner. and in the end my opinion would be that anyone who chooses to beleive so is his or her own messiah. if that be a message?

    it started with me though after shedding many tears because of jesus crusification when i was younger. why it touched me so much can be different reasons. maybe i felt connected with him because i allways stood out. maybe because he had it hard and carried our sin.

    maybe it was because he stood up for those who had it hard. and now i had it hard. perhaps it also has to do with beleieving your special and different then everybody else. which jesus did to the extreme and that costed his life. because he believed to be gods son and be the light on earth he was crusified.

    which i couldnt bare in combination with myself. i was in tears over it for many years. crying every night before i went to bed.

    then when i started digging in the bible and started thinking spiritually. searching what was there as what 'is' slidign into a psychosis story. taking up the history/crusification with god. and i would shine a light upon truth.

    i was given answers in a certain way. if i believe that i am a/the messiah then somewhere that good. that kind of believe in one self and in being thelight and in being chosen, still exists.

    do you get what i mean? because now i believe to be the messiah and live the good has been saved. liek god n i saved the treasure of thought jesus had. to be the ruler and to be the lamb. and to this time not get crusified.

    what keeps me beliving these things are all the thought is lived adn the path i wlaked. it has been in the symbol of being jesus returnal and messiah for the past ca 7 years. the first year i was down under. thinking i am gods choosen.

    i remember i was readign the bible and thinking: god came down in me..if that's possible??

    i had red revelation and due to the life i had and thelifestyle i had at the moment i got trigered into thinking i am the one chosen the first and the last, the messiah, the returnal. and my every step has been with that on my mind.

    though i have learned very well that it is a delusion. but it doesnt take it ways. it just makes it that i stand in reality by being able to describe things a sa psychologist would.

    and i keep gettin driven by people who claim jesus will/would return in the flesh for real. god's man.. so it doesnt really cool down as long as i remain christian.

    because all about christianity is the part of being saved and rescued. which fits well with my psychosis then afcourse. that's why the title: "to be a christian and have the messiah delusion"

    and as i asked in previous posts; how can i be a christian and not be delusional about me being the messiah? i think somewhere due to the intensity i lived this store (relived jesus's story) it will always stay with me. due to my experience with the son i'll allways know there is more then what other people know and tell.

    due to me seeing that, words may be useless, knowing it all is based upon the same. going from the thought:

    "nice words..." or
    "harshe words"

    and meaning nothing more then that. knwoing the center point the uplifted...

    so how can i even belive and was born again and died. knowing my psychology?
    and then what reamisn real about the christian doctrine besides my own doctrine?

    i mean can we face this. that if i believe in myself and all i lived so far and what i seen to be as real as a prayer.

    is that wrong?

    why shouldnt i believe? becuase it's weird? unheard of?
    it's liek as if i am not allowed to believe in me purely. (through jesus though..)
    i wonder now. but i know tthere may be good thruth in this. that peopel find it crazy.

    then what has changend in 2000 years??

    now i know i ma stein de moor. but that doenst really change things any more.
    and i know i am a human born at a certain date and bla bla bal.

    but my memory cant be erased. and to admit that i am nothing more then flesh. and that i lived a lie. is kinda hard to do. it's betrayes of me and of the things god has showed me.

    and what a believ ein jesus worth to me if a cant applie it? i mean someway people who are christian believe is this and are born again in jesus name. for that being in jesus role..........

  10. RobCrandall

    RobCrandall Newbie

    I think that you are a little mixed up, but not much. Jesus does live in you, and you can really talk to God and He can really talk to you. But you are not the Messiah, and you don't have to be crucified. All you have to do is be ever thankful and ever grateful that Jesus died for you already...if you had to be crucified, then God would not have had to send Jesus.
    God really does hear your prayers..every one of them, and He knows the deep compassion that you feel for Jesus. Don't give up on reading your Bible. I have thought of giving up too, because once I thought I had to starve myself because "man does not live on bread alone, but on every word of God." I've also thought that I had to literally die to live. It is heavy stuff, but don't give up on it. The Bible is the truth. God is giving you these thoughts for a reason. You can call it pychosis, but it is really a mixture of God's thoughts, and probably some demons messing with you. God will keep you safe if you stay in His Word. Don't give up on your true love, which is Jesus. God bless you,,,:pray:
  11. xounstaer

    xounstaer his qualities..

    thank you rob crandell :)
  12. xounstaer

    xounstaer his qualities..

  13. Noxot

    Noxot Supporter

    United States
    I might join your forums. I think we resemble each other in many ways.

    there is something special between us. we are going down similar paths because recently I was free to try to learn about Hearing Voices Movement - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia for example.

    I believe that the problem is not just me and you. I think the problem is me and you and most other beings that we have come across.

    you seem to be more open minded than most. I try to be open minded as well and I find it hard to keep faith with Jesus when all this is happening to me and to xounstaer.

  14. huskmc

    huskmc Newbie

    I can relate to a delusion of being some great character in God's scheme. But have come to the conclusion, there is only one great. God. I have been stepped on and the follower all my life, the underachiever without popularity, but it doesn't matter. Know why? There is none great or wise without God. Should I place myself up high to be recognized? No, because I could very easily find myself astray. I don't seek greatness anymore, just Jesus Christ. There is no life outside the giver thereof. And cannot be achieved without faith in Jesus Christ. If I seek glory of myself, where does glory to God go who belongs all glory and blessings?
  15. xounstaer

    xounstaer his qualities..

    that is how i cope nowadays with it, i put it with jesus yes. and god with that.
    the least i want to do is overstep anybody.

    i've learned to want to be the leastest.
  16. xounstaer

    xounstaer his qualities..

    i am still working on this a lot.

    and thank you brother.....i could not bare to live with me if i was to shake jesus of...for some lawfull thoughtss.

    tank you so for you post @Rob Crandell.

    and thank you others too...
  17. xounstaer

    xounstaer his qualities..

    god i feel troublesome and down.
    what's up?

    i guess there isnt much wrong and that i am doing pretty ok eventhough i didnt eat yesterday. i think it may be because i am thinking of my past, which i think was mostly no fun. feeling and thinking that i do not want to see my mother and stephfather anymore, because of the way i have been treated. i get very angry inside and think the worst things, it couldnt be much worse in my mind then it was the past days. i feel bad now myself for not being able to remember the good moments. ok i remember some perhaps. but its not much. the fact is i guess i had it no good. it's really not a lie, and i dont understand why i must feel bad about this. i almost have to cry.

    i guess, but am not sure. but i know i wouldnt have wanted to be a succesfull person in earthely matters. i am very happy really with the things god has shown me. what i am trying to say is that i feel like that i wouldnt be where i am now if it wasnt for all my past.

    please forgive me if i get angry inside and such over my past. i hope you can help me to stay as positive as possible and not to worry to much.

    god we, the two of us will deal with it in a good manner when i feel troubled and hurt, and we hope that i be good enough to maintain a good progress. and for sure not to go insane, and if i do to not lose control and deal with it, so i've said.
    i should realise seriously that i should only use mind altering substanses among the right people and in the right sircumstances and surroundings. i have spoken about this god and i believe the people are right indeed that who say this. i guess it is as simple as knowing not to drink beer in the church but in a pub, etcetera.

    god why dont you tell what is wrong with my behaviour. i eman that i can thinka bout it but i am not sure if that is good for me. i do not see the need for me to think further about my behaviour. and people think thay know the way it should be but i have not seen it the past 27 years as to where it comes to certain points. certain points which will have marked me for the rest of my life. sure i have done things that are no good, basicly as a kid and unseen. so i dont exactly get the point. are people trying to tell me that i have been punished for my mistakes and that is why i am psychiatry and have been mistreated heavily. i am sorry for thinking that i am not treu telling you what i say here just now. but we should not get mne wrong and be honest. must i write dwon what i have done and what others have done to me and then go and compare that? i mean is that required?

    or shall i tell others what i dont like about them and tehy what they dont like about me. i mean i guess that is a possibility. and forgive but i tend first always to say whats good and think that it is good. or i dont but usually i do think it is good. i do not really hold any grudge against anyone.
    so the point has been said that i should think about my behaviour is that anything new at all? i guess i have been punished heavily for my behaviour my whole life. and i cant dig further of things i dont remember. i remember some things though. i have been a bad kid and i deserved punishment so i was locked up into the seperation or isolation. after i seen the sun, that's right exactly what happened god.
    i went toward the closed section of the pstchiatric hospital by my own request. after i seen the orange liquid streaming surface of the sun. right after it, i asked for it. before this there was no problem between me and the psychiatry really. then because they said i had moved furniture i was to walk towards the seperation although i had the chance to dry myself first after i stepped out of the shower.

    then i was seperated, put into isolation for three weeks. i remember pretty much everything.
    then i had to stay in high care for about half a year. you tell me what i did wrong. its inhuman i tell you. the medication i was given made me almost swallow my tongue, for which they had to give me extra medication. and they know this

    i have chosen this road with usage of substances god.
    can i or we change the offspring to better?
    ask about abraham and lot ok?
    i got pens papers enveloppes and stamps, i be ok.
    imagine i ever have questions to you, for a start i'd liek to work out amonst each other next to perfect how we speak and so how we would search within this talk, further words that come about facts we will have explained i think for as far as we know.
    this is to pronouciation of the smallest till the biggest combining languages where so possible. that was what i wanted to ask, can we work on that for me?

    hm describe that sound, can i or you or we or us tend too?
    would i needc the help of a human? all i need is litlle startings or certaintys.

    we can be fine with a percent less. i mean is a tiny amount of trashables. i mean bad stuff you know i doubted it and heard some but i tell you god that we can do with that one percent less perhaps even a bit easier, and do we want to expertise in explaining negatif details we wont.
    o god do we, will we always be good?

    free be free he said. and she oh well ok.

    bed stories online you and me god or some people too ok.

    offspring which is kept good, be's good.
    why cant i go on serious talks really or i do, but..i do right i try too really good, write too i mean. i hope we be good sry and that we are allright and so.x excuse me sentimentally but know it all. no i dont mean wrong, ioh if you want to try and think all answers right to them ears i'd tell you bak some to well figured or so maybe. and i hope i may think and know who i am or what i think of too besides eeing, ofcourse i see seeing as top as hearing so too, you know. do i use my hands and fingers right while talking and my mouth or just one or so? we be good. and i hope i can get into fine areas where i be good too. and i live on ok i be fine, where worse then i can witness have i seen so far. there's basicly litlle questions but i hop eand will get along.
    i will be allright i know.
    you? sry.

    if it was all me it might come to a certain still stop. or not i dont know, i know i will make a move sooner or later to which i always hope it doesnt harm anyone.
    god, i want for you to be, as i know you.

    celebration time i can tell.
    e feast means good and maybe fun or so happyness, so it supposed to be.
    i be alright for good understandings.
    people and so amongst each other.
    what if i say i just want who goo dis to be ok and talk
    i wanted to know whats good and not bad any.
    buy invest and donate and do any which serves the good without harm.
    i said i would like to meet people, you know. and birds too, sun and wind and maybe beach or so. and nature is amazing.
    treat me good i'll never totally defeat you. i hope we are ok and well able to speak and so.
  18. thesunisout

    thesunisout brother Supporter

    United States
    You're not alone in believing you are the Messiah. Many people who visit Israel come to believe they are the Messiah and end up hospitalized each and every year. It's called the "Jerusalem Syndrome".

    What you need to realize is that this thought of being the Messiah comes from Satan. Satan can back up this delusion with supernatural signs and wonders. He can make it seem plausible to you and give you thoughts and feelings which seem to be heavenly, or holy. It can be very, very convincing.

    You need to let it go, because it is not loving to God. It is very unloving to impersonate Gods Son, and feed off His glory as if it is your glory. You like the idea of being the Messiah because like you said, it makes everything about you. You feel like everything that is happening around you has a connection to you. It's a very exciting and interesting perspective. It's also an addiction and a security blanket for you.

    You need to let it go and let Christ be your support. You need to put it away and find out who you really are, in Christ. Satan is robbing you of your identity. Don't believe his lies. It is an elaborate fantasy to keep you in bondage and to rob you of your freedom in Christ. Jesus wants you to know Him, and you can't know Him this way. Your delusion keeps Jesus far away from you. Open your heart to Jesus. Take off your crown and put it at His feet. Make the sacrifice and trust God. I'll pray for you. God bless you.
  19. xounstaer

    xounstaer his qualities..

    you say this of putting my crown at his feet, but what if that is not possible through god or allah?

    can you tell me more about laying my crown at christs feet? dont get me wrong i keep all good in me/stein.