Tired of living this way

joshua 1 9

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HELLO TO ALL MY CF FRIENDS. THANKS FOR PRAYING FOR ME.

I haven't been here in a while. For several years I tried to be a friend, a minister, and a help to others. I wish so much that I could do that again. Maybe soon.

In the past 7 years I have had 4 major surgeries and on a separate occasion I had an undiagnosed lung infection, and my oxygen was at 55% when paramedics came. I spent 7 days on a ventilator/life support. When I woke I had a hypoxic brain injury from the length of time without sufficient oxygen.

My body is literally falling apart. I have severe complex degenerative disk disease which has almost cost me the use of my hand. I've had 3 spine surgeries/fusions and 8 disks replaced.
My shoulder and hip get regular shots until we need to do those surgeries. I'm only 51!!

Nine years ago I was running 3 miles 3 days a week; going to yoga class twice a week and using small weights.

Each surgery has required a minimum of 12 to 18 months of recovery - each time. As soon as my body was healed from the last surgery, I was being scheduled for the next one.
Just 5 weeks ago I had unexpected surgery to remove ovarian cysts the size of a honey dew melon and a grapefruit. They did a full hysterectomy at the same time, took out my appendix and another surgeon repaired a hernia.

It's far from over unless a miracle of healing comes. I love the Lord no matter what happens to me. I don't try to understand why... I just know how He saved me and that is enough.

I'm going back to my surgeon next week - good lord.

I have started thinking lately that it may not worth living if I end up unable to ever regain my health. I cannot live knowing I can no longer contribute but be a burden to my husband who has been wonderful to me. I know these thoughts are probably not rational but the chronic pain has a way of opening up a whole new set of ideas.
I'm on morphine, percocet, gabapentin and medical marijuana. If I were not able to get these drugs for my pain, I would just leave it all behind.

I want to feel better. I need to feel better. I want to be my old self again.

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME WHATEVER THE LORD PUTS ON YOUR HEART. THANK YOU EVERYBODY. I LOVE YOU ALL SO DEARLY AND MISS GETTING ON CF LIKE I USED TO.
Heaven is going to be a wonderful place. Still God is doing a work in us to prepare us. If we go before our time we will not be fully mature and able to appreciate all that He has and wants for us. So we need to be patient to allow God to do all of the work He is wanting to do in our life so we can be fully mature and producing fruit.

Romans 8:17 "Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory."

Acts 5:31 "And they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for His name."
 
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joshua 1 9

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It is hard to admit that I could use some help.
We can not make it alone. We need each other.

Ecc4
9 Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. 10 For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. 11 Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? 12 And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.
 
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Sunshine21

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Physical pain is such a heavy burden. It can be hard for others to understand if they haven't gone through it themselves. I hope you are fully healed very soon. I have never had any life-threatening health issues but I do live with constant pain and have had the same thoughts. I think it is normal. No one wants to be dependent on others or live a life in constant pain. I try to take it day-by-day and hope that God can ease the pain. I pray for you the same. You have so much to bear. And I agree Yoga is wonderful! Meditating, prayer, yoga etc. all wonderful and we don't have to worry about them. Our hearts are pure and we keep our eyes on God. I am going to pray that God lifts you up, gives you a peace that surpasses all human understanding, takes away bad thoughts and feeling like a burden to others and fills you with love.
 
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Kukus

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HELLO TO ALL MY CF FRIENDS. THANKS FOR PRAYING FOR ME.

I haven't been here in a while. For several years I tried to be a friend, a minister, and a help to others. I wish so much that I could do that again. Maybe soon.

In the past 7 years I have had 4 major surgeries and on a separate occasion I had an undiagnosed lung infection, and my oxygen was at 55% when paramedics came. I spent 7 days on a ventilator/life support. When I woke I had a hypoxic brain injury from the length of time without sufficient oxygen.

My body is literally falling apart. I have severe complex degenerative disk disease which has almost cost me the use of my hand. I've had 3 spine surgeries/fusions and 8 disks replaced.
My shoulder and hip get regular shots until we need to do those surgeries. I'm only 51!!

Nine years ago I was running 3 miles 3 days a week; going to yoga class twice a week and using small weights.

Each surgery has required a minimum of 12 to 18 months of recovery - each time. As soon as my body was healed from the last surgery, I was being scheduled for the next one.
Just 5 weeks ago I had unexpected surgery to remove ovarian cysts the size of a honey dew melon and a grapefruit. They did a full hysterectomy at the same time, took out my appendix and another surgeon repaired a hernia.

It's far from over unless a miracle of healing comes. I love the Lord no matter what happens to me. I don't try to understand why... I just know how He saved me and that is enough.

I'm going back to my surgeon next week - good lord.

I have started thinking lately that it may not worth living if I end up unable to ever regain my health. I cannot live knowing I can no longer contribute but be a burden to my husband who has been wonderful to me. I know these thoughts are probably not rational but the chronic pain has a way of opening up a whole new set of ideas.
I'm on morphine, percocet, gabapentin and medical marijuana. If I were not able to get these drugs for my pain, I would just leave it all behind.

I want to feel better. I need to feel better. I want to be my old self again.

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME WHATEVER THE LORD PUTS ON YOUR HEART. THANK YOU EVERYBODY. I LOVE YOU ALL SO DEARLY AND MISS GETTING ON CF LIKE I USED TO.

Could you please listen to these teachings? Healing in The Atonement .
 
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RaymondG

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Hello, Should we not speak the truth in love? Do we make enemies by telling the truth? If a loved one is doing something that is harmful, do we not tell them? A boil heals if it is lanced.
Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
Proverbs 27:9 Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel.
If you have the spirit of God, your prayers mean something......your prayers are answered. Why not use your words first to speak healing into her life, before telling her that her stretching is of the devil?
 
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Handmaid for Jesus

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If you have the spirit of God, your prayers mean something......your prayers are answered. Why not use your words first to speak healing into her life, before telling her that her stretching is of the devil?
Raymond, I did not tell her that.
 
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RaymondG

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You just called it "something bad". It is not that you don't think Christians should not do yoga, but you just weren't going to mention it to her. What if that is causing a barrier between her and her healing from God Almighty? If she told us that she drank and drank alcohol, would you not have said, well, you need to stay away from that stuff, as it is not good for you?
She Just went through many surgeries and told you about it. She is in a lot of pain, and questioning why living is better than dying......Why is this a good time for you to spread your doctrine?

I would heal her first, then tell her that her sins are forgiven.....That I do not condemn her........lastly, go and sin no more.

I would not preach to one who is starving.....telling them that Jesus if the Bread of life. I would not tell the one dying of thirst that if they follow Jesus, they can drink from His fountain and never thirst again!

While these things are true.....the immediate need is actual food and actual water........and giving then anything less is pointless.

I give them what they need....not what I think they are suppose to have.
 
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Kit Sigmon

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HELLO TO ALL MY CF FRIENDS. THANKS FOR PRAYING FOR ME.

I haven't been here in a while. For several years I tried to be a friend, a minister, and a help to others. I wish so much that I could do that again. Maybe soon.

In the past 7 years I have had 4 major surgeries and on a separate occasion I had an undiagnosed lung infection, and my oxygen was at 55% when paramedics came. I spent 7 days on a ventilator/life support. When I woke I had a hypoxic brain injury from the length of time without sufficient oxygen.

My body is literally falling apart. I have severe complex degenerative disk disease which has almost cost me the use of my hand. I've had 3 spine surgeries/fusions and 8 disks replaced.
My shoulder and hip get regular shots until we need to do those surgeries. I'm only 51!!

Nine years ago I was running 3 miles 3 days a week; going to yoga class twice a week and using small weights.

Each surgery has required a minimum of 12 to 18 months of recovery - each time. As soon as my body was healed from the last surgery, I was being scheduled for the next one.
Just 5 weeks ago I had unexpected surgery to remove ovarian cysts the size of a honey dew melon and a grapefruit. They did a full hysterectomy at the same time, took out my appendix and another surgeon repaired a hernia.

It's far from over unless a miracle of healing comes. I love the Lord no matter what happens to me. I don't try to understand why... I just know how He saved me and that is enough.

I'm going back to my surgeon next week - good lord.

I have started thinking lately that it may not worth living if I end up unable to ever regain my health. I cannot live knowing I can no longer contribute but be a burden to my husband who has been wonderful to me. I know these thoughts are probably not rational but the chronic pain has a way of opening up a whole new set of ideas.
I'm on morphine, percocet, gabapentin and medical marijuana. If I were not able to get these drugs for my pain, I would just leave it all behind.

I want to feel better. I need to feel better. I want to be my old self again.

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME WHATEVER THE LORD PUTS ON YOUR HEART. THANK YOU EVERYBODY. I LOVE YOU ALL SO DEARLY AND MISS GETTING ON CF LIKE I USED TO.

Singpeace, your post could almost be my own life journey except I could no longer take pain meds by the time I was your age...I won't have back surgery because in the more than twenty years that I spent being a caregiver I haven't seen good results from those who have had back surgery/surgeries done...they ended up in worse shape.
I learned to space out my chores/work and do a little at a time, rest for a time and then do some more work.

I couldn't get my former life back, so I found myself limited as to what I can do...
it came to me that I could do a card ministry and I could manage to do a couple of visits each month to see those who are shut-ins (hospital or nursing home visits).
Give advice online or over the phone.
No matter where you are or what circumstances you be in, you can do some kingdom work whenever/however you can... my husband did his right in the
hospital following his injury...he had prayer with another injured lady who was
at wit's end trying to figure out how she was going to manage her life since she
was then confined to a wheelchair no longer able to walk. My husband was able
to encourage her and would go onto have other talks with the lady who at the time was 45 years old and on her own...he connected her with other outreach programs and shared the names of his PT and OT with her.

And another thing....You are not a burden.
You have a burden, which by definition is too heavy to carry on your own.
All of us are to help meet the needs of others...knowing full well we to will one
day need help in some way or another.

I have found that it also be good to build up a network of support early on so that when a body could use some help, there's larger group to draw from and different
tasks could be given to others.
That's how it was for me when it was my mom who be sick and unable to work...it fell on me to work more and I did caregiving because it allowed me to have flexible hours.
By the time mom got approval for in-home help from the county health services, we had others who be helping me to look after my mom....whether they just did daily phone calls, ran an errand for her or dropped by to visit with her for a short times, the bases were covered and I usually wasn't needed to take off from my caregiving job to help my mom but one or two times each week.

Have you all put in for in-home help/respite relief? In the very beginning mom's caregiver/choreperson came out twice a week and in time the hours and days increased.
I worked for a nursing agency and I had patients who qualified for a few hours to those who got up to eight hours a day M-F...some even had their hours spaced out to where they had a caregiver coming in seven days to the week.
My mom was able to live on her own up until she was age 84, she's got vertigo,
loss of vision in one eye and numerous other problems, mom continues to be a witness even though she's in a wheelchair in a nursing home.
The little that you can do will be multiplied by the Lord.


 
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RaymondG

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We are replying to a pastor's wife that says she is ordained. We are the church advising elders in this situation. nor do I understand the ordained part
You see titles and pastors and wives and ordinations. I only felt the pain of a Sister who needs healing and thought about how this healing could be obtained......
 
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Danoh

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I worship Jesus with my whole heart while I stretch for an hour with some ladies. The meaning in your question was to jab me with a little guilt trip.

You are bound to run smack into the self-righteous intolerance of some in their ignorance and superstition of such things...

In others, they will mean well, but from a same ignorance and superstition.

For the fact of the matter is that just as some martial arts developed within various forms of pagan religions, but eventually ended up no longer a part of said religion in any way, shape, or form, but rather, an independent form of self-defense in their own right, so also is the case with Yoga.

The practice of its exercises no longer means one practices the religion it arose out of.

Why?

For their PHYSICAL aspects.

For those religions were/are VERY taxing on the physical.

VERY taxing on one's PHYSICAL body.

Due to their EXTREME deprivations.

Which is WHY they developed their HIGHLY BENEFICIAL physical exercises.

Might as well accuse you of being "a Soviet Commie" were you to take up their military's form of physical fitness.

Or of being a North Korea sympathizer, just because you train in Tae Kwon Do - the same form of physical fitness and self-defense, their Military is required to train in.

Might as well accuse the Apostle Paul of being a pagan, just because he travelled far and wide to preach the gospel - on roads built by that FULLY PAGAN Roman Empire (roads they built for VERY pagan purposes).

Stay, on course - you well know what the PHYSICAL benefits of Yoga as a PHYSICAL discipline have been for you.

You're probably only as strong in heart attitude as you obviously still are only because of both your CONSISTENTLY DECIDED faith towards the Lord, come what might, BUT ALSO because of your CONSISTENTLY DECIDED physical discipline on those days you have felt NEITHER very faithful but turned to Him anyway, NOR very physically inclined, but worked out anyway.

In memory of Rom. 5:6-8 - in EACH our STEAD.
 
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Ματθαίος

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HELLO TO ALL MY CF FRIENDS. THANKS FOR PRAYING FOR ME.

I haven't been here in a while. For several years I tried to be a friend, a minister, and a help to others. I wish so much that I could do that again. Maybe soon.

In the past 7 years I have had 4 major surgeries and on a separate occasion I had an undiagnosed lung infection, and my oxygen was at 55% when paramedics came. I spent 7 days on a ventilator/life support. When I woke I had a hypoxic brain injury from the length of time without sufficient oxygen.

My body is literally falling apart. I have severe complex degenerative disk disease which has almost cost me the use of my hand. I've had 3 spine surgeries/fusions and 8 disks replaced.
My shoulder and hip get regular shots until we need to do those surgeries. I'm only 51!!

Nine years ago I was running 3 miles 3 days a week; going to yoga class twice a week and using small weights.

Each surgery has required a minimum of 12 to 18 months of recovery - each time. As soon as my body was healed from the last surgery, I was being scheduled for the next one.
Just 5 weeks ago I had unexpected surgery to remove ovarian cysts the size of a honey dew melon and a grapefruit. They did a full hysterectomy at the same time, took out my appendix and another surgeon repaired a hernia.

It's far from over unless a miracle of healing comes. I love the Lord no matter what happens to me. I don't try to understand why... I just know how He saved me and that is enough.

I'm going back to my surgeon next week - good lord.

I have started thinking lately that it may not worth living if I end up unable to ever regain my health. I cannot live knowing I can no longer contribute but be a burden to my husband who has been wonderful to me. I know these thoughts are probably not rational but the chronic pain has a way of opening up a whole new set of ideas.
I'm on morphine, percocet, gabapentin and medical marijuana. If I were not able to get these drugs for my pain, I would just leave it all behind.

I want to feel better. I need to feel better. I want to be my old self again.

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME WHATEVER THE LORD PUTS ON YOUR HEART. THANK YOU EVERYBODY. I LOVE YOU ALL SO DEARLY AND MISS GETTING ON CF LIKE I USED TO.

Prayed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! May God heal you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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r4.h

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I worship Jesus with my whole heart while I stretch for an hour with some ladies. The meaning in your question was to jab me with a little guilt trip.
No it wasnt meant as a jab, I asked what sort of Yoga it was. If it is with any mantras or with a guru, then it is not innocent. If you feel guilt from what i say, the problem is not with me. Guilt comes from your own thoughts, not mine.
 
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Douggg

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HELLO TO ALL MY CF FRIENDS. THANKS FOR PRAYING FOR ME.

I haven't been here in a while. For several years I tried to be a friend, a minister, and a help to others. I wish so much that I could do that again. Maybe soon.

In the past 7 years I have had 4 major surgeries and on a separate occasion I had an undiagnosed lung infection, and my oxygen was at 55% when paramedics came. I spent 7 days on a ventilator/life support. When I woke I had a hypoxic brain injury from the length of time without sufficient oxygen.

My body is literally falling apart. I have severe complex degenerative disk disease which has almost cost me the use of my hand. I've had 3 spine surgeries/fusions and 8 disks replaced.
My shoulder and hip get regular shots until we need to do those surgeries. I'm only 51!!

Nine years ago I was running 3 miles 3 days a week; going to yoga class twice a week and using small weights.

Each surgery has required a minimum of 12 to 18 months of recovery - each time. As soon as my body was healed from the last surgery, I was being scheduled for the next one.
Just 5 weeks ago I had unexpected surgery to remove ovarian cysts the size of a honey dew melon and a grapefruit. They did a full hysterectomy at the same time, took out my appendix and another surgeon repaired a hernia.

It's far from over unless a miracle of healing comes. I love the Lord no matter what happens to me. I don't try to understand why... I just know how He saved me and that is enough.

I'm going back to my surgeon next week - good lord.

I have started thinking lately that it may not worth living if I end up unable to ever regain my health. I cannot live knowing I can no longer contribute but be a burden to my husband who has been wonderful to me. I know these thoughts are probably not rational but the chronic pain has a way of opening up a whole new set of ideas.
I'm on morphine, percocet, gabapentin and medical marijuana. If I were not able to get these drugs for my pain, I would just leave it all behind.

I want to feel better. I need to feel better. I want to be my old self again.

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME WHATEVER THE LORD PUTS ON YOUR HEART. THANK YOU EVERYBODY. I LOVE YOU ALL SO DEARLY AND MISS GETTING ON CF LIKE I USED TO.
I am all for you, singpeace. I am praying for your healing and God's blessing.
 
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Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
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