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Featured Tired of living this way

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by singpeace, Mar 13, 2018.

  1. singpeace

    singpeace Senior Member Supporter

    +405
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    HELLO TO ALL MY CF FRIENDS. THANKS FOR PRAYING FOR ME.

    I haven't been here in a while. For several years I tried to be a friend, a minister, and a help to others. I wish so much that I could do that again. Maybe soon.

    In the past 7 years I have had 4 major surgeries and on a separate occasion I had an undiagnosed lung infection, and my oxygen was at 55% when paramedics came. I spent 7 days on a ventilator/life support. When I woke I had a hypoxic brain injury from the length of time without sufficient oxygen.

    My body is literally falling apart. I have severe complex degenerative disk disease which has almost cost me the use of my hand. I've had 3 spine surgeries/fusions and 8 disks replaced.
    My shoulder and hip get regular shots until we need to do those surgeries. I'm only 51!!

    Nine years ago I was running 3 miles 3 days a week; going to yoga class twice a week and using small weights.

    Each surgery has required a minimum of 12 to 18 months of recovery - each time. As soon as my body was healed from the last surgery, I was being scheduled for the next one.
    Just 5 weeks ago I had unexpected surgery to remove ovarian cysts the size of a honey dew melon and a grapefruit. They did a full hysterectomy at the same time, took out my appendix and another surgeon repaired a hernia.

    It's far from over unless a miracle of healing comes. I love the Lord no matter what happens to me. I don't try to understand why... I just know how He saved me and that is enough.

    I'm going back to my surgeon next week - good lord.

    I have started thinking lately that it may not worth living if I end up unable to ever regain my health. I cannot live knowing I can no longer contribute but be a burden to my husband who has been wonderful to me. I know these thoughts are probably not rational but the chronic pain has a way of opening up a whole new set of ideas.
    I'm on morphine, percocet, gabapentin and medical marijuana. If I were not able to get these drugs for my pain, I would just leave it all behind.

    I want to feel better. I need to feel better. I want to be my old self again.

    PLEASE PRAY FOR ME WHATEVER THE LORD PUTS ON YOUR HEART. THANK YOU EVERYBODY. I LOVE YOU ALL SO DEARLY AND MISS GETTING ON CF LIKE I USED TO.
     
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  2. Netgear

    Netgear A Dog On A Mission

    230
    +154
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    Catholic
    Divorced
    Pain is awful. Debilitating to say the least.

    I pray that God will heal you and make you well again. Take care
     
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  3. derpytia

    derpytia Compassion. Supporter

    412
    +785
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    Lutheran
    Single
    Hello there!

    My heart is aching for you and your struggles. You sound exactly like I do in this point in time. I'm only 24 years of age but I am dealing with hearing loss, visual snow, and severe tinnitus (so loud that nothing can mask it). I had dreams and a lot of things going for me about four years ago and it all changed so quickly. Yet I am blessed by the Lord for not having to endure the chronic bodily pain that you are having to endure. But I guess we all have our pain in life.

    What I mean to say is I understand your sorrow. I understand wanting to be the person you used to be. I look at pictures of myself four and even seven years ago and mourn the loss of that happy smiling girl. Pictures of me now are far and few in between and when they are taken, I look worn and sad.

    I don't know why the Lord has seen fit to give some of us trials beyond measure. I wish I had an answer other than the knowledge that He is in control and works out everything in this life, good or bad, to our benefit. Even if we can't for the life of us see what that benefit is. Maybe others can see it and we cannot.

    I will pray for you as I pray for myself, begging God to have mercy upon us both and to bring us healing, strength in endurance, and trust in Him.

    My the Lord bless you and keep you. May His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May He look upon you with favor and give you His peace.
     
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  4. vinsight4u

    vinsight4u Contributor

    +2,202
    United States
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    /nvm
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2018
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  5. Aino

    Aino God's own

    +621
    Christian
    Married
    I can't say I can understand any of your pain but I can pray for you and for your family as well. Don't think of yourself as a burden, you're still a gift for your husband. Give him what you can, be open to take whatever help you need. We all need it sometimes, some of us more and some less. But God is merciful and loving and won't require from us things we cannot do. He can also take your anger, pain and grief. Hang in there, everything is in his control. :hug:
     
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  6. Handmaid for Jesus

    Handmaid for Jesus You can't steal my joy Supporter

    +25,528
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    I have prayed for you.
     
  7. discipler7

    discipler7 Well-Known Member

    +315
    Heard Island And Mcdonald Islands
    Christian
    Single
    MATTHEW.19:16-20 says otherwise, ie the rich young Jewish ruler could keep the Law. But he failed to follow Jesus and so lost his treasure in heaven.

    At LUKE.16:19-31, the Old Testament-era rich man was sent to hell for breaking God's Law at DEUT.15:11, ie for refusing to provide charity to beggar Lazarus during the Sabbath Year or every 7th Year.
    ....... Bad things will happen to people who intentionally break God's Law - DEUT.28:15, PROVERBS.1:26, 1JOHN.5:16-19, 1COR.5:5 & 11:30, HEBREWS.10:26-31. For such suffering sinners/evildoers/law-breakers, healing and deliverance from God/Jesus may happen but rarely.

    1PETER.3:19 & 4:6 describes how law-abiding OT figures like Abraham, Lazarus, Moses and Elijah(MATTHEW.17:3 & 27:52) were saved from hell, ie by keeping the Law.
    ....... IOW, NT figures could no longer be saved by just keeping Moses Law, ie they have to believe in Jesus Christ and not blaspheme the Holy Spirit, eg by cursing God/Jesus and die.(JOB.2:9)

    Prayers for you.
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2018
  8. r4.h

    r4.h Member

    167
    +83
    New Zealand
    Christian
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    Is this true Yoga? Yoga is not compatible with the commands of God, not to serve idols.
     
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  9. paul1149

    paul1149 that your faith might rest in the power of God Supporter

    +2,511
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    Praying. May the lord comfort and heal and restore, to His glory.
     
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  10. thesunisout

    thesunisout growing in grace Supporter

    +1,332
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    Praying for you sister
     
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  11. Handmaid for Jesus

    Handmaid for Jesus You can't steal my joy Supporter

    +25,528
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    Please sis, stop doing yoga!
     
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  12. singpeace

    singpeace Senior Member Supporter

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    Wow discipler7. The Christ-like mercy and understanding in your reply underwhelms me. I'm glad to know that the Lord is in no way resentful of me; disappointed in me, and certainly not able to be cursed by a mere human. I just want you to know that God sees the true intentions of every heart.
     
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  13. singpeace

    singpeace Senior Member Supporter

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    I worship Jesus with my whole heart while I stretch for an hour with some ladies. The meaning in your question was to jab me with a little guilt trip.
     
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  14. singpeace

    singpeace Senior Member Supporter

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    Thank you so much.
     
  15. singpeace

    singpeace Senior Member Supporter

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    Thank you very much!
     
  16. singpeace

    singpeace Senior Member Supporter

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    Thanks! I do feel a bit lighter now.
     
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  17. singpeace

    singpeace Senior Member Supporter

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    Thank you so much for that.
     
  18. gym_class_hero

    gym_class_hero Active Member

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    God bless you.
     
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  19. singpeace

    singpeace Senior Member Supporter

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    I thank God you were there today and replied to my thread. Your text made me cry a little.I love that you were healed. Thank you!
     
  20. singpeace

    singpeace Senior Member Supporter

    +405
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    Thank you for sharing that with me. You are correct; no matter who you are or how old or young, and no matter how you get your pain; pain is still pain. I used to be the one praying for everyone else. It is hard to admit that I could use some help. My heart will be praying for you and your future. I pray that you might know the peace and joy I have known. I pray you discover a talent that makes it possible for you to excel at something you love!
     
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