Tired of being a loser ...

[Felipe Barbosa]

Hi, my name is Felipe, I'm 25 years old and from 14 I have suicidal thoughts with two attempts at 15, since then I have managed to control for a while, without medication or therapy, I'm coming back with the medication, but I'm afraid to depend on it all life.

A long time I feel bad, I have never been good at dealing with people since school, this has only been growing since then, my parents said it would improve over time and with work, not improved, actually only got worse .

I feel like trash, a waste, a failure, I have difficulty interacting and dealing with people, in fact, I do not like being around people, I can not keep friends, I just do not feel like leaving or calling, just sending messages from Sometimes, and yet, there are only a few people I can identify with and somehow tie up, all the others bother me.

I do not feel like a man, I do not feel masculine, I feel weak, a loser ...
I wonder why I have this introverted personality? Why can not I be like the other guys my age? I do not drink, I do not smoke, I'm a virgin, but is it really worth it? I see other men around me, some are violent, some betray their wives, but no one doubts their masculinity.

The church lately has had movements about Christian masculinity, but what to do when the problem does not settle with a lecture? I feel anger, hatred, people only know that they do not make themselves men like they used to, but no one is willing to teach, my father made my father pregnant my grandmother and left home, my father tried his best in his way , but I still do not see it as an example.

The church lately has had movements about Christian masculinity, but what to do when the problem does not settle with a lecture? I feel anger, hatred, people only know that they do not make themselves men like they used to, but no one is willing to teach, my father made my father pregnant my grandmother and left home, my father tried his best in his way , but I still do not see it as an example.

Sometimes I think, as a man, my value is in how much money I have in my wallet? How much do I scream? Why must I constantly prove to society/church that I am a man? I'm sorry but people say one thing, but in behavior they do the opposite.

Sometimes ... I wonder if hell is like this ... a continuous pain burning inside ...

 

[Tolworth John]

I am sorry you feel you are a failure and that you struggle with depression.
Please seek medical help and councelling.

Christiam masculinity is totaly different from how the world sees masculinity.

A Christian man care for and is responcible for his family.
He respects and values women, not as objects for sex, but as people.
He is self controlled, not getting drunk or high on drugs, handles money wisely, is trust worthy and dependable.

Being masculine is easy when one is big and strong and running with the crowd.
The crowd does not know what masculinity is.

 

[Sinner90_]

X2. Not sure what advice I can give you as I’m probably a bigger loser than anyone in this world.

 

[Felipe Barbosa]

I am sorry you feel you are a failure and that you struggle with depression.
Please seek medical help and councelling.

Christiam masculinity is totaly different from how the world sees masculinity.

A Christian man care for and is responcible for his family.
He respects and values women, not as objects for sex, but as people.
He is self controlled, not getting drunk or high on drugs, handles money wisely, is trust worthy and dependable.

Being masculine is easy when one is big and strong and running with the crowd.
The crowd does not know what masculinity is.

People often use Jesus' passage in the temple with merchants as an example of manhood, but I see that Christ was not an exalted man, on the contrary.

 

[Felipe Barbosa]

I see the church criticizing the youth, but I do not see anyone coming in to help.
I myself do not have my father as an example, I think how to correct some of my own actions, I try to do it alone but I do not see improvement.

I was told not to care what people say, but when do these people use the Bible to tell them that the timid will go to hell? I wanted to have discernment, not only spiritually but socially, I do not understand some languages and social behaviors.

 

[Tolworth John]

People often use Jesus' passage in the temple with merchants as an example of manhood, but I see that Christ was not an exalted man, on the contrary.

Jesus clearing the temple was a rightous act, but it was also a supernaturaly powered act.
Imagine trying to clear any market place in your home town. How far would you get?

No where does the bible say that the timid will go to hell. Challenge those who say that to quote the book chapter and verse. I suspect those who say it have nothing todo with Christianity.

 

[Tempura]

You don't have to prove anything to anyone. Because the more we try to convince people of our supposed "worth" in social hierarchies or whatever, the more we stray away from living in truth. If we can't face some truths about ourselves, we cannot grow and we cannot learn. And if we only see ourselves (and others) as some superficial actors in a giant stage that is the world, it becomes hard to actually develop relationships as well.

We can develop ourselves, to try to accept ourselves and our weaknesses better.

I've had to face some really unpleasant things about myself. I'm shy, I'm often fearful. And that's just the beginning, those aren't even sins - my sins are far worse for me to bear. That's why I must thank our Lord Jesus Christ, for His sacrifice on my behalf, and everyone else's behalf. I have to have a relationship with Christ, to go to Him in my prayers, instead of trying my hardest to figure out the truth from thousands and millions of speakers who all say the different things. God can and will use people for His purposes and message, that is absolutely true, but misguided and misleading people will also often try to use God for their purposes.

You're not any more trash than I am. You're a human being with a soul, and that soul is precious.

With depression, I've learned to treat it as a great lie. Depression is a real thing, but whenever it fills my mind with thoughts like "you're trash, you're nothing, you should die, nobody loves you, you will never do anything good to anyone", I will treat them as lies. Because that's what they are. And those lies are cunning, because they can disguise themselves as truths. There was a time when I believed them. And the more I believed them, the worse I was. When I poured my heart out to Christ when I was at my lowest, just a crying slob on the floor, sure that I was going to have to kill myself, things started gradually getting better. I didn't notice it right away, only years after, but that was the turning point for me. Now, I can take anything that comes my way. And it's not because of some new-found show-off masculinity, it's because I have faith in something more powerful and loving that trumps anything else in its way and will be victorious in the end, no matter how things in this world may seem.

You are not trash. People are different, we're allowed to be different. Men are different from each other. Women are different from each other. People also have fears, shortcomings, failings, sins, whatever. Some people can't hide it, some can, some don't even know themselves well enough to be aware of them. But we all have something. And we all grow, we all learn. At least we have the the chance. If someone absolutely can't do it because of a disability or something like that, then it's not their fault to begin with.

I hope you get good help. Don't give up. Don't believe your feelings when they tell you that you're worthless. I hope you get good therapy, please seek it. I had to go on/off for many years, and sometimes I hated it, but my therapist was a good one, and finally it worked to the point where I understood myself better.

The journey to find oneself, and to be at peace with our own selves - and God - isn't an easy one. But it's the best path I've ever set my foot on nevertheless. Especially because I believe that I'm not alone on that path, and ultimately it's God Himself who gets to be the one who saves us, no matter how lost we can get. I now have more peace than I ever did when I still hadn't taken the first step on this path.

Said a prayer for you, for God to guide you in time, and take away your burdens.

 

[Jeshu]

Dear brother when we try to fit the stereo types the world makes up we bring a lot of suffering our way because we are worldly in our out look.

To be a good person in God's eyes means you are honest, gentle, loving, kind, patient, caring and sharing. Strife after these things brother, and let go of all those notions of manhood, it are just worldly teachings designed to make puppets out of people and rob them of their originality.

You are uniquely made God wants you to remain unique.

So please consider building your psyche on God's Word and promises and seek to find your identity in Him for then you will have ammunition to fight the depression successfully.

Be blessed.

Psalm 139
You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.


Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.


For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.


If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

 

[JEBofChristTheLord]

Felipe, I urge you to consider the Father in Heaven as the Great Psychiatrist in the Sky who really can solve all of your problems. Ask Him to help you with every one of your thoughts -- and ask Him to make His responses clear. He will respond to every request. You will probably not like most of the answers at first. But if you are willing to learn, He will keep teaching, and He will walk you carefully out of that state of being which you hate so much.