Three doors in Hell...

thispoorman

Do justly, love mercy, walk humbly with thy God
Feb 13, 2012
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These share a common theme, so...

1. A man finds himself in Hell, and is asked by his demon guide to choose one of three doors. Through the first door, he hears terrifying screams of fear and pain. Through the second door, he hears even louder and more frenzied shrieks of sheer agony. Through the third door, he hears only a gentle murmuring sound.

"I'll take the third door," he exclaims.

Immediately he finds himself up to his lips in a lake of the foulest liquid sewage imaginable, and realizes that the gentle murmuring sound is millions of sinners muttering,

"Don't make waves...don't make waves...



2. A man finds himself in Hell, and is asked by his demon guide to choose one of three rooms in which to spend eternity. Looking into the first room, he sees a vast cavern in which millions of sinners are standing in a lake of the foulest imaginable liquid sewage that comes up to just below their lips. "Oh, not that one," he says. So the demon shows him a second room, and in that cavern millions of sinners are standing in a lake of even fouler liquid sewage that comes up to just below their nostrils. "Oh, please, not that one either," he begs.

So the demon leads him to the third room. The cavern's liquid sewage is foul beyond all possible belief, but it only comes up to the sinners' waists, and everybody is smoking, having cocktails and enjoying lively conversation.

"I'll take this one," he says happily.

No sooner does he wade in, though, when a demon shouts:

"All right! Break's over! Back on your heads!"