Thoughts on using toys in the bedroom?

[Dave-W]

If the toys become a substitute for real intimacy with one's spouse, that could be the only pitfall I'd see occurring.

Yeah - but that can apply to almost anything.

 

[Deidre32]

Yeah - but that can apply to almost anything.

That's a great point, Dave. You're right. I don't mean to imply that for example ''using a little inappropriate content here and there'' would be okay. That is never okay. I guess I view inappropriate content as different than a couple using a toy. I'm not into toys, personally, maybe for the reason that I think it sends a message subtly to one's partner that they aren't enough. And makes sex a very transactional thing, which I don't believe that's as God intended.

 

[Dave-W]

I guess I view inappropriate content as different than a couple using a toy. I

Agreed.

 

[Guy Incognito]

I think toys are definitely acceptable in the bedroom – and how many and what kind to use (or, you know, whether or not to use them) is up to the individuals in the marriage (is the toy(s)something one or both will find enjoyable (or the other partner is fine with it)? Will it help the overall pleasure? Will it help with [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]? Is it just to add spice? For me, these are all acceptable reasons). Pray through it and discuss it. Like many things in the marriage bed for me this falls into the “all things are lawful but not all are beneficial” catagory.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

Well, ornamental phalluses have been discovered from a multitude of ancient cultures, and supposedly the ancient Greeks were using breadsticks as [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]...

So... Olive Garden has just been ruined for me.

 

[Dave-W]

supposedly the ancient Greeks were using breadsticks as [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]...

So... Olive Garden has just been ruined for me.

LoL !!!

Olive Garden is Italian, not Greek.

Too bad the Athens Grill only serves pita instead of breadsticks. <blush>

 

[Ttalkkugjil]

I think toys are definitely acceptable in the bedroom – and how many and what kind to use (or, you know, whether or not to use them) is up to the individuals in the marriage (is the toy(s)something one or both will find enjoyable (or the other partner is fine with it)? Will it help the overall pleasure? Will it help with [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]? Is it just to add spice?

Tinkertoy is good, also Lincoln Logs.

 

[Saricharity]

Anyone else take a few days to even click on this link without blushing at the thought? LOL
Sometimes I forget that it's okay to read threads like this, and I'm actually old enough to have an opinion worth offering.
That being said, I don't have an opinion. I'm still at the "blushing at the thought" stage.

The lego comment did make me laugh out loud...scared the cat. He's looking at me rather distrustfully right now.

 

[mama2one]

That being said, I don't have an opinion. I'm still at the "blushing at the thought" stage.

you're a newlywed so would expect that
remember way back then as a newlywed, don't think we even talked about sex

as years go by, one gets more comfortable with each other
but by then kids are often in house

so if I even "whisper" anything to husband, he quickly hushes me lest our preteen hear anything
she's at the age to eavesdrop so even if she's asleep in bed, we need to be quiet, lol

 

[A Realist]

but now if I even "whisper" anything to husband, he quickly hushes me lest our preteen hear anything
she's at the age to eavesdrop so even is she's asleep in bed, we need to be quiet, lol

I'm with you there. It was the same way when our kids were growing up. Now that they're grown and out of the house, it's a free-for-all!

 

[Dave-W]

so if I even "whisper" anything to husband, he quickly hushes me lest our preteen hear anything
she's at the age to eavesdrop so even if she's asleep in bed, we need to be quiet, lol

LOL.. I remember those days. We had 3 girls at that point at the same time with the boy about 4 years back so when the girls outgrew that stage he was right there himself.

But I sometimes wonder if that hush-hush approach is all that helpful in the long run. It seems to me it perpetuates the unease of talking about sexual topics to the next generation.

 

[mama2one]

It seems to me it perpetuates the unease of talking about sexual topics to the next generation.

got a book last summer to talk with child and none too soon because kids were talking later that summer in neighborhood asking each other "what they knew"

husband just doesn't want her to know we do it, lol
or to hear us

he wanted me to do ALL talking but what was funny, he got some questions when I wasn't around!

 

[Dave-W]

got a book last summer to talk with child and none too soon because kids were talking later that summer in neighborhood asking each other "what they knew"

Yeah - that is happening earlier and earlier.

husband just doesn't want her to know we do it, lol or to hear us

Good luck with that.

Did you ever see the movie "Dances with Wolves?" There was a scene in it where the Medicine Man and his wife were having sex, and both Kevin Kostner and Mary McDonnell were "sleeping" only a few feet away from them; and both of them getting very hot and bothered from it.

The point is for most of human history, families lived in one room tents or one room cabins. No privacy. So kids were exposed to mom and dad doing that from an early age. And we all survived!

he wanted me to do ALL talking but what was funny, he got some questions when I wasn't around!

Of course. Kids want the whole story from both sides.

 

[Saricharity]

you're a newlywed so would expect that
remember way back then as a newlywed, don't think we even talked about sex

as years go by, one gets more comfortable with each other
but by then kids are often in house

so if I even "whisper" anything to husband, he quickly hushes me lest our preteen hear anything
she's at the age to eavesdrop so even if she's asleep in bed, we need to be quiet, lol

I remember seeing my parents being "playful" with each other but I never really "got it" to be honest. I admit I have always been pretty naive about intimate things.
I feel like I want to ask my mom how my dad and she EVER had sex with all us kids in the house...like seriously...as teens we were up and down and in and out at odd hours LOL and my mom homeschooled the littles. Still does. And there are still teens at home. Obviously, they must have had a good sex life because there are lots of us LOL

 

[Saricharity]

I'm with you there. It was the same way when our kids were growing up. Now that they're grown and out of the house, it's a free-for-all!

Be interesting to ask your kids if they ever heard you LOL

I can honestly say I never ever heard my parents. I think all my siblings and I came from the stork haha

 

[A Realist]

Be interesting to ask your kids if they ever heard you LOL

Only one time (that we know of) when our son was about three. His mom told him she was having a bad dream.

 

[Dave-W]

Be interesting to ask your kids if they ever heard you LOL

My wife is super quiet, even now that we have been "empty nesters" for almost 10 years.

I seriously doubt we were ever heard.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

Only one time (that we know of) when our son was about three. His mom told him she was having a bad dream.

I hurt my leg and dad was giving me a really good leg massage.