• The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.

    If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.

    If you have spiritual issues related to a mental health and recovery issue, please use the Recovery Related Spiritual Advice forum. This forum is designed to be like Christian Advice, only for recovery type of issues. Recovery being like a family in many ways, allows us to support one another together. May you be blessed today and each day.

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Heartofsilver

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Hello everyone,

I have been having thoughts of suicide which with my OCD/rumination thoughts can make this very confusing. Lately, I have examining these thoughts and distressing emotions more closely. Also, I have been unable to discuss this with family, my boyfriend, or his family. If my family finds out they will freak out and overreact and so will my boyfriend. Because of what happened months ago, my boyfriend's family made it clear to me in some way that I shouldn't be discussing this with him, since it causes him exhaustion and his anxiety to sky rocket which I do not want for him either. With him having mild aspergers and past relationship trauma it triggers his anxiety. He is very loving, caring, and sensitive. What did hurt me though was when his dad told me that he didn't care what I was going through that he only cared about his son, which made since, but really hurt me since, my mom told me that nobody cares about me, but me throughout my life which I kept telling her wasn't true. I also hurt that nobody believed what I was going through at the time which I wrote about in a previous post.

I have noticed that some of the times when my mind goes off and thinking about killing myself it revolves around fears that my boyfriend will leave me due to the difficulties and not being understanding of my abusive/controlling family, since his family isn't like that. I'm afraid that with how my family can be and/or how rash I have been towards my family would cause him to leave me. I am working on new, better, and sound ways to deal with my family.

I also am afraid of my abusive/controlling family and want out other than visits from time to time where I get to leave their house on my terms/ when I want to. My parent's scare me and I feel trapped especially when they think that it is "unsafe" and won't allow me to leave their house. My mom has severe mental illness and has trapped me in her house more than once. They are also financially supporting me while going to school, but with this it seem like there is a price where they act like they can do whatever they want to me. Sometimes, I get so scared that I just let them take over due to how bad my anxiety gets.

I scratch when anxious, nervous, or upset. I have recently had thoughts of starting to really cut myself or attempt suicide with a suicide note with their name on it to force my parents to change, but as I have seen after a psychiatric episode when I started to act out and told them some of the truth of what their actions were doing to me mentally/emotionally they didn't understand or see the abusive/controlling situations as I do. They think that how they are treating me isn't controlling at all, that it is all about "safety " when in reality I feel like I need safety from them! They don't see how their safety is treating me like I'm twelve when I'm far beyond that age. It's just due to disabilities, finishing school, and having to financially rely on them until I'm done I feel as though I'm unfortunately stuck, since I can't do school and work at the same time.

I have not acted on any of these thoughts. I am currently getting the help I need with medication and therapy.
 
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Deborah D

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Willing-heart

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I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. Please don't entertain those thoughts. God loves you. Cry out to God and ask Him to fight all your battles for you. Whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
 
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God is good

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Hello everyone,

I have been having thoughts of suicide which with my OCD/rumination thoughts can make this very confusing. Lately, I have examining these thoughts and distressing emotions more closely. Also, I have been unable to discuss this with family, my boyfriend, or his family. If my family finds out they will freak out and overreact and so will my boyfriend. Because of what happened months ago, my boyfriend's family made it clear to me in some way that I shouldn't be discussing this with him, since it causes him exhaustion and his anxiety to sky rocket which I do not want for him either. With him having mild aspergers and past relationship trauma it triggers his anxiety. He is very loving, caring, and sensitive. What did hurt me though was when his dad told me that he didn't care what I was going through that he only cared about his son, which made since, but really hurt me since, my mom told me that nobody cares about me, but me throughout my life which I kept telling her wasn't true. I also hurt that nobody believed what I was going through at the time which I wrote about in a previous post.

I have noticed that some of the times when my mind goes off and thinking about killing myself it revolves around fears that my boyfriend will leave me due to the difficulties and not being understanding of my abusive/controlling family, since his family isn't like that. I'm afraid that with how my family can be and/or how rash I have been towards my family would cause him to leave me. I am working on new, better, and sound ways to deal with my family.

I also am afraid of my abusive/controlling family and want out other than visits from time to time where I get to leave their house on my terms/ when I want to. My parent's scare me and I feel trapped especially when they think that it is "unsafe" and won't allow me to leave their house. My mom has severe mental illness and has trapped me in her house more than once. They are also financially supporting me while going to school, but with this it seem like there is a price where they act like they can do whatever they want to me. Sometimes, I get so scared that I just let them take over due to how bad my anxiety gets.

I scratch when anxious, nervous, or upset. I have recently had thoughts of starting to really cut myself or attempt suicide with a suicide note with their name on it to force my parents to change, but as I have seen after a psychiatric episode when I started to act out and told them some of the truth of what their actions were doing to me mentally/emotionally they didn't understand or see the abusive/controlling situations as I do. They think that how they are treating me isn't controlling at all, that it is all about "safety " when in reality I feel like I need safety from them! They don't see how their safety is treating me like I'm twelve when I'm far beyond that age. It's just due to disabilities, finishing school, and having to financially rely on them until I'm done I feel as though I'm unfortunately stuck, since I can't do school and work at the same time.

I have not acted on any of these thoughts. I am currently getting the help I need with medication and therapy.
God loves you very much and Jesus can help you with all your difficulties. God bless you and Jesus is Lord. Jesus can carry your burdens. He has big shoulders.
 
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Mari17

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Hello everyone,

I have been having thoughts of suicide which with my OCD/rumination thoughts can make this very confusing. Lately, I have examining these thoughts and distressing emotions more closely. Also, I have been unable to discuss this with family, my boyfriend, or his family. If my family finds out they will freak out and overreact and so will my boyfriend. Because of what happened months ago, my boyfriend's family made it clear to me in some way that I shouldn't be discussing this with him, since it causes him exhaustion and his anxiety to sky rocket which I do not want for him either. With him having mild aspergers and past relationship trauma it triggers his anxiety. He is very loving, caring, and sensitive. What did hurt me though was when his dad told me that he didn't care what I was going through that he only cared about his son, which made since, but really hurt me since, my mom told me that nobody cares about me, but me throughout my life which I kept telling her wasn't true. I also hurt that nobody believed what I was going through at the time which I wrote about in a previous post.

I have noticed that some of the times when my mind goes off and thinking about killing myself it revolves around fears that my boyfriend will leave me due to the difficulties and not being understanding of my abusive/controlling family, since his family isn't like that. I'm afraid that with how my family can be and/or how rash I have been towards my family would cause him to leave me. I am working on new, better, and sound ways to deal with my family.

I also am afraid of my abusive/controlling family and want out other than visits from time to time where I get to leave their house on my terms/ when I want to. My parent's scare me and I feel trapped especially when they think that it is "unsafe" and won't allow me to leave their house. My mom has severe mental illness and has trapped me in her house more than once. They are also financially supporting me while going to school, but with this it seem like there is a price where they act like they can do whatever they want to me. Sometimes, I get so scared that I just let them take over due to how bad my anxiety gets.

I scratch when anxious, nervous, or upset. I have recently had thoughts of starting to really cut myself or attempt suicide with a suicide note with their name on it to force my parents to change, but as I have seen after a psychiatric episode when I started to act out and told them some of the truth of what their actions were doing to me mentally/emotionally they didn't understand or see the abusive/controlling situations as I do. They think that how they are treating me isn't controlling at all, that it is all about "safety " when in reality I feel like I need safety from them! They don't see how their safety is treating me like I'm twelve when I'm far beyond that age. It's just due to disabilities, finishing school, and having to financially rely on them until I'm done I feel as though I'm unfortunately stuck, since I can't do school and work at the same time.

I have not acted on any of these thoughts. I am currently getting the help I need with medication and therapy.
Please, if you are ever seriously considering suicide, reach out and get help immediately. You can call 911 or a suicide hotline such as 1-800-273-8255. It sounds like you're in some really rough situations, so please keep hanging onto hope and looking for solutions. I pray that you will find help and hope to get you through to a happier and healthier life and relationships.
 
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LynnSmith

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Hello everyone,

I have been having thoughts of suicide which with my OCD/rumination thoughts can make this very confusing. Lately, I have examining these thoughts and distressing emotions more closely. Also, I have been unable to discuss this with family, my boyfriend, or his family. If my family finds out they will freak out and overreact and so will my boyfriend. Because of what happened months ago, my boyfriend's family made it clear to me in some way that I shouldn't be discussing this with him, since it causes him exhaustion and his anxiety to sky rocket which I do not want for him either. With him having mild aspergers and past relationship trauma it triggers his anxiety. He is very loving, caring, and sensitive. What did hurt me though was when his dad told me that he didn't care what I was going through that he only cared about his son, which made since, but really hurt me since, my mom told me that nobody cares about me, but me throughout my life which I kept telling her wasn't true. I also hurt that nobody believed what I was going through at the time which I wrote about in a previous post.

I have noticed that some of the times when my mind goes off and thinking about killing myself it revolves around fears that my boyfriend will leave me due to the difficulties and not being understanding of my abusive/controlling family, since his family isn't like that. I'm afraid that with how my family can be and/or how rash I have been towards my family would cause him to leave me. I am working on new, better, and sound ways to deal with my family.

I also am afraid of my abusive/controlling family and want out other than visits from time to time where I get to leave their house on my terms/ when I want to. My parent's scare me and I feel trapped especially when they think that it is "unsafe" and won't allow me to leave their house. My mom has severe mental illness and has trapped me in her house more than once. They are also financially supporting me while going to school, but with this it seem like there is a price where they act like they can do whatever they want to me. Sometimes, I get so scared that I just let them take over due to how bad my anxiety gets.

I scratch when anxious, nervous, or upset. I have recently had thoughts of starting to really cut myself or attempt suicide with a suicide note with their name on it to force my parents to change, but as I have seen after a psychiatric episode when I started to act out and told them some of the truth of what their actions were doing to me mentally/emotionally they didn't understand or see the abusive/controlling situations as I do. They think that how they are treating me isn't controlling at all, that it is all about "safety " when in reality I feel like I need safety from them! They don't see how their safety is treating me like I'm twelve when I'm far beyond that age. It's just due to disabilities, finishing school, and having to financially rely on them until I'm done I feel as though I'm unfortunately stuck, since I can't do school and work at the same time.

I have not acted on any of these thoughts. I am currently getting the help I need with medication and therapy.
Please seek medical help a.s.a.p. if suicidal. I’ve been there. Yes seek God but also seek a safe place, a hospital. I’m praying.
 
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Xethea

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Hello everyone,

I have been having thoughts of suicide which with my OCD/rumination thoughts can make this very confusing. Lately, I have examining these thoughts and distressing emotions more closely. Also, I have been unable to discuss this with family, my boyfriend, or his family. If my family finds out they will freak out and overreact and so will my boyfriend. Because of what happened months ago, my boyfriend's family made it clear to me in some way that I shouldn't be discussing this with him, since it causes him exhaustion and his anxiety to sky rocket which I do not want for him either. With him having mild aspergers and past relationship trauma it triggers his anxiety. He is very loving, caring, and sensitive. What did hurt me though was when his dad told me that he didn't care what I was going through that he only cared about his son, which made since, but really hurt me since, my mom told me that nobody cares about me, but me throughout my life which I kept telling her wasn't true. I also hurt that nobody believed what I was going through at the time which I wrote about in a previous post.

I have noticed that some of the times when my mind goes off and thinking about killing myself it revolves around fears that my boyfriend will leave me due to the difficulties and not being understanding of my abusive/controlling family, since his family isn't like that. I'm afraid that with how my family can be and/or how rash I have been towards my family would cause him to leave me. I am working on new, better, and sound ways to deal with my family.

I also am afraid of my abusive/controlling family and want out other than visits from time to time where I get to leave their house on my terms/ when I want to. My parent's scare me and I feel trapped especially when they think that it is "unsafe" and won't allow me to leave their house. My mom has severe mental illness and has trapped me in her house more than once. They are also financially supporting me while going to school, but with this it seem like there is a price where they act like they can do whatever they want to me. Sometimes, I get so scared that I just let them take over due to how bad my anxiety gets.

I scratch when anxious, nervous, or upset. I have recently had thoughts of starting to really cut myself or attempt suicide with a suicide note with their name on it to force my parents to change, but as I have seen after a psychiatric episode when I started to act out and told them some of the truth of what their actions were doing to me mentally/emotionally they didn't understand or see the abusive/controlling situations as I do. They think that how they are treating me isn't controlling at all, that it is all about "safety " when in reality I feel like I need safety from them! They don't see how their safety is treating me like I'm twelve when I'm far beyond that age. It's just due to disabilities, finishing school, and having to financially rely on them until I'm done I feel as though I'm unfortunately stuck, since I can't do school and work at the same time.

I have not acted on any of these thoughts. I am currently getting the help I need with medication and therapy.

hello. I would have much more to say, but i am quite busy as of this very moment. But i read on your status you are in California. Do you know John MacArthur? A popular pastor in California at Grace Community Church. Well, I'd like to share this video with you, because part of what makes you worry and get upset about all this so much is because of lies the world does with labeling people with "mental issues." they tried all that on me for 2 decades, sometimes people still try to put me on the drugs and counseling, but the truth is, we have spiritual issues involving sin and simply life not being perfect. My friend kept claiming all the time he has aspergers, my best friend claimed he had OCD and i was just like him, but then i changed completely where i wasnt like him at all anymore. All the issues i had, many tell me only drugs can help me, only counseling will help, but when we actually do the drugs and counseling for years- not a single thing changes, and they more they hear about my issues, they begin to realize they've never seen a life like mine and they end the counseling and get me off the drugs to claim "There's nothing we can do to help you. I don't know what to say anymore." I say exactly, because its not a mental issue, it's my personality and my spiritual issues. You cannot change who i am. Who can change how i act by drugging me where i cannot be myself the way God made me, and you cannot overcome my sin unless you kill me.

Look, OCD, aspergers, ADHD, etc- all that brain stuff they claim of a mental illness is ALL A LIE. This world does that, for people to label you, control your life, calm you down if they dont like your unique personality, who dont want to accept you the way you are, you want to make you think you are messed up and stupid and nothing but chemicals and people telling you how to live to change that, and most of all- they want you to pay them for it. They just sit in a chair, listen to you, ask you pathetic questions that get you nowhere, and then write you some quick simply paper so you pay them hundreds to thousands for it. Millions if not billions of dollars are spent in just this country alone for drugs. That's not even counting the illegal stuff.

You've got issues where you all need Christ, not what this world has to offer. Does the Bible ever tell us we have mental issues? Does it ever say when we are bad people, being foolish, crazy, evil, hyper or anything that we need to get on some drugs or anything at all like that? The Bible always directs us that we need to come to the Lord and his word for help in any situations.

Here is the link, there's nothing to watch, just part of a sermon, and i know it says ADHD, but thats just a common example that doctors and psychologists just use this to make money on us and such. This is from the pastor in California.

 
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Mari17

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hello. I would have much more to say, but i am quite busy as of this very moment. But i read on your status you are in California. Do you know John MacArthur? A popular pastor in California at Grace Community Church. Well, I'd like to share this video with you, because part of what makes you worry and get upset about all this so much is because of lies the world does with labeling people with "mental issues." they tried all that on me for 2 decades, sometimes people still try to put me on the drugs and counseling, but the truth is, we have spiritual issues involving sin and simply life not being perfect. My friend kept claiming all the time he has aspergers, my best friend claimed he had OCD and i was just like him, but then i changed completely where i wasnt like him at all anymore. All the issues i had, many tell me only drugs can help me, only counseling will help, but when we actually do the drugs and counseling for years- not a single thing changes, and they more they hear about my issues, they begin to realize they've never seen a life like mine and they end the counseling and get me off the drugs to claim "There's nothing we can do to help you. I don't know what to say anymore." I say exactly, because its not a mental issue, it's my personality and my spiritual issues. You cannot change who i am. Who can change how i act by drugging me where i cannot be myself the way God made me, and you cannot overcome my sin unless you kill me.

Look, OCD, aspergers, ADHD, etc- all that brain stuff they claim of a mental illness is ALL A LIE. This world does that, for people to label you, control your life, calm you down if they dont like your unique personality, who dont want to accept you the way you are, you want to make you think you are messed up and stupid and nothing but chemicals and people telling you how to live to change that, and most of all- they want you to pay them for it. They just sit in a chair, listen to you, ask you pathetic questions that get you nowhere, and then write you some quick simply paper so you pay them hundreds to thousands for it. Millions if not billions of dollars are spent in just this country alone for drugs. That's not even counting the illegal stuff.

You've got issues where you all need Christ, not what this world has to offer. Does the Bible ever tell us we have mental issues? Does it ever say when we are bad people, being foolish, crazy, evil, hyper or anything that we need to get on some drugs or anything at all like that? The Bible always directs us that we need to come to the Lord and his word for help in any situations.

Here is the link, there's nothing to watch, just part of a sermon, and i know it says ADHD, but thats just a common example that doctors and psychologists just use this to make money on us and such. This is from the pastor in California.

Are you saying that you don't believe in taking medication for any sort of human ailment?
 
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Xethea

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Are you saying that you don't believe in taking medication for any sort of human ailment?
Wounds, yes. Body being damaged, yes. Illness such as colds, flu, phlegm, etc- yes. Mental as OCD, ADHD, Aspergers, etc- no. Not only have i been through the process myself, not only have i seen it doesn't help anyone i know, there is no cure for our issues they refer being "mentally ill." They even told me I was born with a brain issue that was why i was the way i was then, and i can do nothing except take the medicine to help me, which the meds did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. And I've taken many kinds of meds, they did nothing. Because my sadness, anger, confusion, etc- was far too strong and a important part of me, that only Christ could help me, because really, its a spiritual issue. Meds and counseling can't help you in the spirit. That's the Lord's doing. All meds can do is make you high, speed things up in you or slow things down where you aren't acting like yourself anymore. Which means, instead of changing yourself, you just take an easy path by making something happen to your body so you will be forced and incapable of being that way. It's like saying, if your friend is overweight and has an addiction to smoking, he really wants to stop, then he tells you he needs help but all you can do to keep him away from it is chaining him up to a wall and never release him. Then he starts yelling and screaming feeling a strong urge to still want it. The only reason he isn't smoking is because something is holding him back by the chains making him incapable of reaching or getting into any thing to smoke. That's forcing someone to not just make decisions for their own actions, and rather trying to use something else to control you.

I understand that, but in the end, you're still stuck with the issue, the problem is still always there, and you run from it by taking drugs, and for almost everyone, the drugs still arent enough. People turn to alcohol almost the same way. They get so drunk they cant think straight, they cant keep their minds focused on the bad thoughts and memories that temporarily it keeps them from their problems.

Yet, though they told me I had this and that, and only this can help, I proved them wrong. And simply if you understand humans, then you understand already this sounds ridiculous to label people this way. It's all personality. He's hyper, she's sad, he doesn't pay attention in class, this kid has problems socializing because he can't talk well, she is anti social, he's confused about everything, this kids running around wild smashing everything, etc. It's all just people being people and needing personal help or influence. The reason all this mental stuff is labeled on almost everyone, its quite common today kids werent raised with both fathers and mothers, or just one or the other, or maybe they were just abusive or didn't care about their children or spent time with them to raise them. With any of those issues, it brings up stuff in our lives that lead us to acting a certain way that this world begins to view us as if we are messed up in the head, when really, its in our souls we need help and love and a good influence, and truth from the word of God. We dont need drugs.
 
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Mari17

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Wounds, yes. Body being damaged, yes. Illness such as colds, flu, phlegm, etc- yes. Mental as OCD, ADHD, Aspergers, etc- no. Not only have i been through the process myself, not only have i seen it doesn't help anyone i know, there is no cure for our issues they refer being "mentally ill." They even told me I was born with a brain issue that was why i was the way i was then, and i can do nothing except take the medicine to help me, which the meds did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. And I've taken many kinds of meds, they did nothing. Because my sadness, anger, confusion, etc- was far too strong and a important part of me, that only Christ could help me, because really, its a spiritual issue. Meds and counseling can't help you in the spirit. That's the Lord's doing. All meds can do is make you high, speed things up in you or slow things down where you aren't acting like yourself anymore. Which means, instead of changing yourself, you just take an easy path by making something happen to your body so you will be forced and incapable of being that way. It's like saying, if your friend is overweight and has an addiction to smoking, he really wants to stop, then he tells you he needs help but all you can do to keep him away from it is chaining him up to a wall and never release him. Then he starts yelling and screaming feeling a strong urge to still want it. The only reason he isn't smoking is because something is holding him back by the chains making him incapable of reaching or getting into any thing to smoke. That's forcing someone to not just make decisions for their own actions, and rather trying to use something else to control you.

I understand that, but in the end, you're still stuck with the issue, the problem is still always there, and you run from it by taking drugs, and for almost everyone, the drugs still arent enough. People turn to alcohol almost the same way. They get so drunk they cant think straight, they cant keep their minds focused on the bad thoughts and memories that temporarily it keeps them from their problems.

Yet, though they told me I had this and that, and only this can help, I proved them wrong. And simply if you understand humans, then you understand already this sounds ridiculous to label people this way. It's all personality. He's hyper, she's sad, he doesn't pay attention in class, this kid has problems socializing because he can't talk well, she is anti social, he's confused about everything, this kids running around wild smashing everything, etc. It's all just people being people and needing personal help or influence. The reason all this mental stuff is labeled on almost everyone, its quite common today kids werent raised with both fathers and mothers, or just one or the other, or maybe they were just abusive or didn't care about their children or spent time with them to raise them. With any of those issues, it brings up stuff in our lives that lead us to acting a certain way that this world begins to view us as if we are messed up in the head, when really, its in our souls we need help and love and a good influence, and truth from the word of God. We dont need drugs.
I'm glad you've found something that works for you. I've never taken medication myself, although I do know people with OCD/anxiety who take it and have experienced relief from their symptoms. I guess, in my opinion, many mental illnesses do stem from a physical "defect" and thus the right medication can help correct the physical part of our illness. I agree we are a combination of physical, mental, and spiritual, and thus our treatment for our ailments needs to address all three aspects. God is so amazing, and it's wonderful to learn how to release the lies we tell ourselves - such as that we are not perfect enough, or that we have to do everything "just right" for God to accept us - and learn to trust Him more!
 
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