Thorn in my flesh

[Bon]

I was inspired by Nilahk81's thread: I'm tired of spiritual warfare.

I thought it might be helpful, for those of us who are willing to share, to tell here, what is the:

"Thorn in YOUR flesh"...

Mine is PMS / PMT....becasue it really affects my relationship with Yahweh and my spiritual walk in Him.

When I am feeling great, I am interested in learning and growing in the spirit. I am happy and feel that nothing will phase me. I'm kind and polite, and I'll even make conversation with a stranger.

BUT.....when my PMS hormones begin to kick in.....I change. Things that didn't bother me yesterday begin grinding on my nerves. What I coped with yesterday, I can't deal with today.

I feel as though the world is on top of my shoulders, and lose interest in my spiritual walk (in varying degrees).

I get snappy with my family, and when I am out and about, I put my head down and get cranky (on the inside) if a stranger tries to talk to me.

I just want to be by myself, and vegetate.

It's horrible being so inconsistant, and unable to control my moods.

I really affect my spiritual walk, because I am so up and down, hot and cold, and I get completely frustrated that I am this way.

Also, because my cycle is inconsistant, there are times that I dont realise that it is PMS affecting me, and I freak myself out with the sudden change in moods...and give MYSELF a hard time over it....."What is wrong with me?" I think to myself.

It isn't until my period actually begins and I am in a better frame of mind, that I can actually evaluate the situation and say to myself....."Oh!.....it was PMS".

Wierd huh!

It might not seem like such a big thorn....but if you had to live inside my head for a month or two....you would understand how much it affects me.

Iiiiiich!

Bon

 

[AlikhnKwizad]

Oh, wow... don't even get me started on PMS! LOL!!

Right now (beside all the stuff I'm yacking about on the other thread) ANGER seems to be getting to me.

And maybe this is hormone related- I dunno?

I get so full of rage... my muscles tense up, my entire body stiffens... and I could really do some damage if I let it out. It really scares me. My husband is the only one who really sees that side of me... and I don't think I've ever in my life experienced such intense rage as I do now.

I don't know what's going on. It really really scares me.

 

[plum]

That's interesting, Bon. You're describing symptoms that sound to me like depression, not PMS. But then again for me, PMS isn't that well defined and isn't all that radical a change.
Depression in my life is moodiness, inability to handle stress, down-and-out feelings, irritability, impatience, introversion... thankfully I'm being treated for it! wheeeelaaa!

I think what affects my relationship with Adonai is my pride. It does so many things: making me think i can do things on my own; causing my desire for control; keeping me from compassion and humility with others; making methink i'm more worthy of praise/blessing than I am; tempting me with legalism; keeping me from fellowshipping at church because I feel "better" than "normal Christians" because of my MJ walk.
yikes!!!! King of Kings, help me.

 

[beej7]

I am also 'hormonally challenged'. I am in my early 50's and it's the 'change' that seems to have a huge affect on me...But I also suffer from depression, sometimes to the point of barely being able to get out of bed. All I want to do is sleep, sleep, and sleep some more. When I force myself to get out of bed, I eat. Eat, eat, eat. Somedays, I think I must be commiting a slow suicide.

 

[jgonz]

Hormones and emotions for me. Major thorns.

I'm emotional as it is, then add on hormonal changes throughout the month and I'm insane. I find myself thinking, what good am I to G-d, my husband, my children... ANYone? How can this Possibly glorify G-d? And it's actually gotten worse since my miscarriage 3 months ago. I take supplements, pray, take more supplements, pray more... some days it seems to work great, and others I might as well just stay in bed all day because I'm not fit for human contact. But I have to get up and take care of my kids, so I do what I have to and just pray that I don't fall apart in front of anyone.

EXTREMELY frustrating!

 

[MyLittleWonders]

Man, I think you all are talking about me! Seriously, though, my hormones/emotions and my need to control everything are my thorns. The emotional part has been better the last few years since starting medication for depression/generalized anxiety. I look back at who I used to be and think, man, how could my husband have even beared to be with me. Now, it's just a couple of days of "stay clear" when I'm pms'ing, or the times when I don't eat and my blood sugar bottoms out and I get really cranky. But the biggest thing for me is trying to constantly take control from HaShem and then giving it back. I can't stop ... I give Him the control and then when the going gets a little rough (or I simply just think I know better), I pull back the control. The amazing thing is for some reason, He just sits there patiently, waiting for me to admit I can't do it and give it back to Him. (PRAISE HASHEM!!!) This affects my marriage sometimes too in that I want my husband to be the leader of the house, but then I yank back that control too and try to convince him that I know better. Then, I apologize and tell him he's back in charge and he just smiles and gives me a kiss.

 

[P_G]

* Pray4Isrel is curious as to what the guys in this forum are going to say!!!

I would say my thorns are like most men
Lust and Anger

It is hard to turn away from the flesh
But turn we must

And turn we can!

Nothing is beyond the reach or the knowledge of the one who made you and if you lean on Him and not your own understanding you will be better off.


Question:
Did you sing today?
If not why not?

I know someone reading this did not sing because I distinctly heard a rock humming very loudly today and I am sure it is the one that took your place


PG

 

[Bruce101]

* Pray4Isrel is curious as to what the guys in this forum are going to say!!!

I'm afraid to say anything at this point!

Bruce

 

[Tishri1]

My thorn tonight (and the majority of the summer )has been sibling rivalry! OY! What a horrible thorn that is...My DH and I don't get a day without it...sometimes my nerves are just raw with hearing the hate that comes out of these kids' mouths...right now my son is in the kitchen making his sister laugh, but not two minutes ago they were at each other over one of a million things. Do you think this is just them listening to the lies of HaSatan? If so he is talking to them everyday! OY!

 

[CovenantRay]

I would say my thorns are like most men
Lust and Anger

<<(( SNIPPED ))>>

PG

Shalom Pastor George!

Although those are challenges that most/(all?) face, I don't see them in the "Thorn of the flesh" light. Mind you, I am not saying that you're wrong -- just that I don't see them that way.

My challenge in this light seems to be when my wife and I speak and she brings up an issue, my first fleshly instinct is to "fix it" in my strength [WRONG INSTINCT]. What is more important is to LISTEN and empathize. Most likely that is the most important part of the "issue". We have a wonderful relationship in an Ephesians Ch 5 way.

In another thread I've disclosed a part of the cluster headache Thorn, and would go into it in more detail should anyone wish to contact me via PM.

Although we all have Thorns, I'm humbled by what others accomplish despite their challenges.

May HaShem richly bless you all and I pray that He will shower you all with sufficient grace and mercy,

CovenantRay

 

[By Grace]

Hormones? Yep.
Pride? Yep.
Need for approval? Check.
Moodiness? Of course.
Low blood sugar? Hah! Who has time to eat?
Need to control? Don't even get me started.

Another one I would add to my list is spending money. We've had some unusual ups and downs in our finances lately, and I've always struggled a bit with controlling my spending. I've gotten out of hand recently b/c we've had some extra room in the budget, but now it's time to buckle down again. I've let my emotions get too involved with my shopping, to where it's been a "comfort food" kind of thing for me, a way to "manage" my emotions and "make me feel better". I didn't put us in debt or anything, but I have been spending too much, and not just spending, but needing to spend money, if that makes any sense. It's a bad habit that both my parents passed on to me, so I came by it honestly ;-) , but that doesn't make it right. It's a lack of self-discipline, and an unhealthy obsession with worldly things. (I N-E-E-E-E-E-D that!)

Another one is my tendency to overextend myself. I get involved in SO MANY things! And then I'm so distracted with all the STUFF going on in my life, that I really struggle to settle down long enough each day to get in touch with God. And resting on the Sabbath? What a challenge! Over the past few weeks, I feel like I spend the first 6 days of each week in a race against time to get done as much as I can before I have to drop it all on the 7th day. And even then, I have a VERY hard time not pondering all my goings-on when I'm supposed to be focusing on God and HIS priorities.

Ouch. Honesty hurts sometimes.

 

[insaneinthebrain]

* Pray4Isrel is curious as to what the guys in this forum are going to say!!!

I was scared away by about post #3.

Honestly, I have to agree with PG (well, other than the singing thing. He lost me there )

 

[plum]

*loving nudges to the boys*

hey wait.... I WAS POST #3!!! *weep cry sob*



just kidding

 

[visionary]

The thorn in my flesh is my own self-esteem. It cause me to defend myself. It causes me to devalue my self-worth. It hampers my interaction with others. I have to always be on the look out, for if I am not careful, it will react before I have time to think it through. I have been, with the Lord's help, working on mastering the reaction behaviors due to self-esteem. I am a lot better than I use to be, but it is still there in the corner of my mind, waiting for a moment of weakness, to come out and show itself.

 

[christinepro]

Thank you Yahweh for Evening primrose oil. It helps me throught the worst of PMS. I get kind of spun just before my cycle and I feel as though I want to change things for the better but sometimes things don't turn out for the best. I've learned to try and relax and let go of the steering wheel and let things happen.

 

[Bon]

Thank you Yahweh for Evening primrose oil. It helps me throught the worst of PMS.

Does Evening primrose oil REALLY work?........

I tried it one time, years ago....and noticed no significant results.....

How long were you taking it before you noticed any results?

I get kind of spun just before my cycle and I feel as though I want to change things for the better but sometimes things don't turn out for the best. I've learned to try and relax and let go of the steering wheel and let things happen.

Gotta do that......Give it up!

Shalom from Bon

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

Mine seems to be low self esteem, anger management, hormones & more recently pain.

This week I was hit with all four I've had difficulty dealing with the London bombings (the rage is still rocking me occasionally), knocked my back out last Sunday and have been off work this week with today being the only day without pain (still feeling as high as a kite with the pain killers though); it's my pms week so I was feeling real low/down especially with being in such pain; then was pondering about whether or not I should change to show everyone I'm an MJ!!! Arggggghh!

Gonna need you guy's help so I'll start a new thread about being an MJ.

I praise G-d though that through the prayers of others, today is the first day where 3 out of the 4 thorns have been lifted up to Him. I reckon it's the pain killers but I feel a sense of loftiness and peace but I think that what the doctor's given me this week could easily knock an elephant off its feet.