Today, I realized that I don't matter enough to God for Him to care about the things that happen and have happened to me. And I also realized that God didn't even care enough about me to make me a whole person. He gave me this "thing", this disorder that will always make me incomplete and too broken to be fixed, hopeless and damaged goods. God doesn't care because in His eyes not only am I a failure, I'm not even a real person...I'm just a subhuman being in human skin and because of that, I'm not worth His time...
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This is what I'm thinking now (BPD)...
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faroukfarouk
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Well, actually if you read Scriptures such as John 14, and Psalm 46, you'll see how the Lord cares for all who love Him and trust Him.
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God will fix us when He raises us from the dead on the day of judgement if we believe Him and trust in the atonement He has secured for our salvation... God never said He would fix us in this life time... Yes God can and does fix some of our problems and faults as a blessing to us but no one is made perfect in this world we all have our own thorns to carry through life.. Paul prayed for God to remove a thorn from him again and again and in the end The LORD told him that his grace would cover it..
Jesus said He came as a doctor.. Not for the healthy but for the sick, to save them.. if you think you are a sick person needing help then you are just the type of person Jesus died to Redeem.. Jesus saves us failures every day
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Hmm, kind of sounds like Paul's "thorn in the flesh." He begged God to remove whatever it was and it needed to be there for a reason that Paul wouldn't understand for some time. We all have "something" and the ones who seem like they don't are either lying, covering it up... or we haven't been around them long enough to see it yet.
I would ask you if you care about God, and I think the answer is yes or else you wouldn't have bothered to post at all. If God wanted nothing to do with you, you would want nothing to do with Him because it is God who draws us to Him (John 6:44). So if He wasn't there drawing you, you wouldn't desire Him. So... you care about Him and He cares about you... and you have this thing. Well, maybe this thing, whatever it is, is necessary to make you into the person you will become in God? And when you become that person He will use you for great things? Just a thought... why not ask Him in prayer? Blessings.
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faroukfarouk
Fading curmudgeon
Great advice!God will fix us when He raises us from the dead on the day of judgement if we believe Him and trust in the atonement He has secured for our salvation... God never said He would fix us in this life time... Yes God can and does fix some of our problems and faults as a blessing to us but no one is made perfect in this world we all have our own thorns to carry through life.. Paul prayed for God to remove a thorn from him again and again and in the end The LORD told him that his grace would cover it..
Jesus said He came as a doctor.. Not for the healthy but for the sick, to save them.. if you think you are a sick person needing help then you are just the type of person jesus died to Redeem.. Jesus saves us failures every day
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Actually He planned your entire life before you were born.
It's very hard to gain that perspective, but worth the time.
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Maria.V.H
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I´m sorry you feel that way, but it is also very normal, to have this love hate relationship to everything.. I think you should try to look at things in the bigger perspective. I know it´s easy to loose hope, hope is very fragile, but we need to keep just the slightest amount in difficult situations otherwise there is nothing left. This might sound harsh but maybe God wants you to suffer, maybe because you will learn something from your suffering have you ever thought about that??? I believe there is a lesson learned in everything. Even though you can´t see the meaning now, maybe you will later, when you see things in a new perspective, with a little more hope. See this is what life is about, a million different stages and emotions, nothing is ever constant. Sometimes life seems unfair, but no one said this would be paradise, we all have battles to fight, some more than others, this is life, we have a mission, to become wiser people and use the negative things we carry with us to change them into positive things. But of course we can´t see this when we crawl on our knees, then everything is unfair.. i hope you will see your worth, that you are not your condition, and that God loves you regardless of how much suffering he puts on you. Here is a thought, maybe it´s not God who puts things on us, maybe it´s just a lottery, some are just more lucky than others. I believe our mission is to learn, and i don´t think we can learn much if we don´t suffer unfortunately, but i could be wrong. What i think is most important to think about is, there is always ten million people suffering more than you, if we think like this then things doesn´t seem so bad. We have to take responsibility for our life no matter how it looks like, we can´t blame everyone else, we just have to live with what we have and make the best of it. As long as we have a roof over our head and food in our mouth then we have a lot compared to others but we often forget this. I wish you the best, i send you positive thoughts!!
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Everything is not "Planned" before you are born.
Your entire life, including free-will decisions, are
known by God before the earth was formed.
My words are not perfect.
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