- Feb 16, 2012
- 32
- 35
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Constitution
Retired 2 years & I've have time to process life events & give thought to them & lately it's been ways God worked in my life. My dad was raised by a Godless man who killed 2 people then killed himself. I didn't learn of this until I was an adult, I just knew my dad was the angriest person I ever knew. At 17 he reached back to strike me & I snapped. I reached back to do the same & "something" held back my arm. Powerful. With all my strength & rage I could not move my arm. He saw the hate on my face & looked scared for his life. It was as if I were trying to throw a car. My rage turned to confusion. I wondered about that moment many times & I believe God protected me & my dad. I would have gone to prison & my dad would have died. 5 years later I'm in my 3rd clinical depression in 4 years, living like a hermit thousands of miles from my home state & I cried myself to sleep. In a dream I saw what appeared to be the sun. A big, orange, warm globe. It got brighter & brighter & began to turn white. I was filled with peace & joy. It surrounded me & I felt a euphoria like nothing I've ever felt since. Then I woke up to a dark room & heard rain outside. I cried from the pain that brought. I think God was telling me to continue on. Soon after that (days) I met a Christian. He told me things I never knew. I went to church with him & made friends there & my place in the world changed. I no longer needed to matter in the world. To impress the world. Or seek fame, money or power. My journey without God ended & my walk of faith began. Now, 40 years later it continues. I cannot imagine a life without knowing God & that Jesus died for my sins to give me eternal life with Him. And peace & guidance to manage each day. And wisdom to not make the crazy choices I made in my youth. Nearly 2 years ago I switched to another church after praying about it. Wonderful! I love it. God's word explained with clarity 75-90 minutes, twice a week. I'm in a very different place than in my youth. I was defeated, beaten down, depressed, confused & thinking I had all the life I could stand. I couldn't even be conformed to the world. Now I know not to be. Oh, my dad. He came to know Christ later in life & we made our peace. He went to be with God in 2014.