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The Truth behind my prodigy (Exp)

67_Reasons

66 pages + the Lord Jesus
Jan 12, 2021
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The story below was written in 2013 and was and still is mainly intended as a confession of events that indeed took place in my life. There is some choice words in the beginning; however I was told on the radio not to hold anything back so here it is, the first 12 years of my 15 year insurrection. There are some shocking outcomes in this read that may be hard to grasp at first; but this happened then, not since 2017...

Prologue

August 1995, John Tholms was twelve-year-old boy learning scriptures in Sunday school in the children’s classroom. The studies were over and it was play time; John Tholms was trying to build a toy tank with blocks and needed a final piece to finish his set of tracks for the tiny vehicle. One of his classmates had the piece he needed. James Becket, son of a rich family that owned a hunting club in town just down the road from the church; decided to hoard the piece from Tholms although he hadn’t intended to do anything with it the whole time till the end of class, John Tholms was infuriated.

July 16th 1998, James Becket and a group of other Bible students had just got to the last day of VBS and decided to watch TV in the nursery; James Becket conspired with the other students and decided to lock Tholms out of the room for reasons only Tholms could speculate, for reasons he believed were sinister. He started pounding on the door with a toy fire truck but nothing seemed to change the plight of Becket's arrogance, not even the adults would step in.

July 19th 2001, the church class went on a youth group event to a bowling alley in the big city. All was good until the return trip; Becket's father was driving the church van home and supplied his son with a two-way radio because there was more than one van in the group. As always Tholms was in the front seat as the group of boys in the back were having fun spamming radio languages to and from the other van. John Tholms was tired of business as usual when it came to Becket’s insults to him, the pressure built into him so high that he slammed the passenger side door with a force that could have almost broke the window if it was just one pound harder.

Mr. Becket took the radio from James because he knew it was being used to antagonize John.

July 2nd and 16th 1999, The Church had a guest pastor and common musician perform a sermon in the sanctuary. The pastor asked the guest to bow their heads and close their eyes and raise their hands if they have not yet repented. John Tholms was interested in participating not yet knowing the ramifications of doing so; he raised his hand but his mother tried to tell him not to.

John Tholms was a simple teenager with many a prognosis of mental ailments that were often why he was always on medications, and throughout his life he would have been on at least six known psych drugs ranging from Ritalin to Risperdal. Little did Tholms know that his life would soon take a darker path that he could never imagine as a young boy; he was often picked and poked on by a majority of his classmates in high school, mainly throughout his educational life in the school down the street from his house, but that’s just about where his darkness begins.

After Tholms was baptized and had accepted Jesus as his savior, Tholms would grow for the next seven years to forget all what he’d done this for, or maybe he just didn’t know after the youth trip incident had rendered him astray from the church he once knew. He would pick up smoking at twenty, and masturbating just within high school because that was the way he was teased by others, all this still just a one off of what would soon aspirationally change the mindset of Tholms.

Tholms always wanted to be a soldier but would be rejected because of his mental status; so instead of just giving up on his life he would grow up to reject the notion of himself being on any mind-altering drugs and peruse usefulness by other means.

November 2006, Tholms was the proud owner of an old S10 pickup truck and a .22 caliber rifle he usually kept behind his seat; one day he decided to go fishing at a nearby creek that was a few miles away, his rifle in tote in behind the seat in case of encounters with poisonous snakes. When Tholms arrived at the bridge, Becket alongside with a friend were there fishing as well; Tholms got out and retrieved his rod from the bed and went down to the bank on the other side. Becket’s friend was snooping around in Tholms’ Chevy and found the rifle and let out a faint but notable cackle, and then Becket whispered to the other person to get in his truck and so did they, and the old Ford sped off the bridge and down the dirt road in a mad rush, Tholms would never see or hear of Becket until six years later.

April 14th 2012, Tholms was at home watching a DVD, Angels and demons. Tholms had reached the scene where the last bad guy set himself on fire, all of a sudden he heard a fire truck distantly outside. By the time his parents returned from their errands they told Tholms a bit of bad news; Becket had died in a house fire, one that Tholms would soon learn was the result of drug use.

Chapter 1.

August 22nd 1995, Tholms became infatuated with a girl in his class, Tholms wasn’t so much intrigued by the girl, rather the stationery the girl had seemed to be the same every year; Hello Kitty, with bright neon colors and fictional cartoon animals. Tholms would create a fate onto him revolving around those creatures; he called it factions. One year a movie came out with a cartoon character resembling one of the ones he had seen in the Hello Kitty paraphernalia. Tholms would create a silent persona around it and devised characteristics in music like songs from the Rolling Stones or Eminem; Tholms was tangling himself in a dark web that seemed to be centered on his every thought. Classmates who had made threats to Tholms would become ill at the point close to where the threat was to be carried out; Tholms came across some certain psychic abilities to predict what song would be playing on the radio next, without prompts from the DJ of the broadcast. Things in Tholms world were advancing at a pace, the factions with all their Iconic logos only to be a driver. Believe it or not, Tholms predicted the answer even before the, Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy, ever said it was Forty-Two. But it was almost as if it weren’t the only thing in the movie redundant to Tholms.

Chapter 2.

One-night Tholms got into a desperate plea with an effigy in his reclusive mind, he was talking in his sleep.

Tholms; “If you can give me one good answer why I should trust you make it be tomorrow and I will see to it that I don’t curse myself”.

“Tomorrow you will get your wish but it won’t be what you expect”, the effigy declared.

“Then it’s settled, I get what I want and I will trust my judgments from here on out”, replied Tholms.

September 11th 2001. It was just an ordinary morning to school, but that day would indeed have its ramifications. All day long throughout the classes; it was the bad news at New York, DC, and Pennsylvania.

Tholms was convinced but not completely fulfilled; deep inside Tholms was in thought about his would-be life in Heaven, to see all the creatures of the earth, as they would have been on earth. Creatures he has never come across in the real world other than a few pictures in the family album or in other forms of descriptive documentations. One day Tholms got his parents to agree to take him to one of the aquariums in Florida; to Tholms for one purpose only. He’d remember the intricate names of all the dolphins and kept them locked in the back of his mind, his actions and soon to be reactions of what would become the darkest of his twisted factions inside his mind.

Tholms failed his mission in general, but didn’t leave empty handed. Tholms managed to make contact with a creature he would soon regret through events that may or may haven’t been triggered by his tinkering on the subjects at hand. Every detail about the creature was recorded, associations made though machines, companies, dates, times, names, music, the list goes on.

One day he was watching a Steve Irwin show; one where Steve got exactly what Tholms wanted, but Tholms didn’t think much of it. He was too busy trying to make an alias for himself centered on one of the subjects in his mind. Little did he know that in one month something would happen and it would change Tholms’ ideology; Tholms believed he was cursed by a demon; one he gave the name Purge.

More evidence came when he heard about the Columbia disaster; not in the event itself but in a minor centerpiece in one of the news feeds where a homeowner took cell phone video of the descending fireball. A tree was in the picture that any normal person would have overlooked, but to Tholms it had only one conclusion, guilt by association. One day Tholms was tending a garden shortly after and desperately wished he could stop taking meds; as he was walking home a meteor shot out of broad daylight, zipping across a sweet gum tree, (a breed of tree related to the sycamore), similar to the one that was in the video. So Tholms made a wish; one where he was to once and for all stop taking meds for whatever people said he had. One week later he was at his psychiatrist office in the waiting room; a woman and her baby with a toy was singing twinkle, twinkle. His doctor that day took him off the meds he was taking and told him he didn’t have to take anymore drugs for now, did Tholms wish come true for the moment?

Tholms was intrigued by the orca of all creatures; one of his hardest played faction effigies. Once again Tholms made adoptions of all related interest; taking names and associations and came up with some monolithic menagerie of related details ranging from Pink Floyd, to Burzum, his dad's Viet Nam era yearbook filled with the machines of war for the time period. One day Tholms was reading a small blue book said to be from his grandfather; while he was reading the first page the family dog began to bark at Tholms as if someone were standing behind him, although he was just curious. Tholms laundry list of associations and patterns reached far and wide; with the fact that who would have guessed that Michael Jackson would have been involved.

One of the turning points in Tholms’ life was when he remembered the movie the Fox and the Hound, and the names of the animals in the story as the list goes by. At the time Tholms wasn’t interested in it but kept it in the back of his mind; He was busy at college taking English and the vicarious ‘Machine tool technology’; but one day Tholms was on his way to class and on the county road titled ‘67’ Tholms was deadeye to headlights from a fox crossing the road downhill at a speed of 55 mph; Tholms would’ve applied the brakes or simply gone off lane to avoid hitting the critter but there was a minivan headed in his direction, and he wanted to not test the brake power of his Ford Taurus, Tholms inevitably had to hit the mangy beast at full speed with no consideration of turning around.

The next day Tholms would wake up to the news that one of his old teachers had died in a horrific traffic accident.

Tholms took his fox incident as an omen.

Chapter 3

Tholms became desperate to turn his life around from the visions at night. Dreams were vivid, tight, almost always a morning episode; one of Tholms’ dreams brought him to a mountainous ravine where there was a river lined with cherry trees in full bloom, and a marker in the center of the river that said something, but Tholms would forget what it said. All along the hills were monolithic structures like skyscrapers made out of solid stone; too elaborate for a being of nature, too complex for even a large group of workers and equipment. Tholms interoperated it as Heaven.

One dream brought him to a sewer like place in a concrete cube where two tunnels outlined two sides of the walls; one filled with water and barricaded by an iron grate, another smaller opening leading to a dungeon with a living dragon inside.

Tholms’ political life was centered on his ideology for the time being; in the beginning Tholms was in the dark worshiping communism as a counter subject to his blind ambitions. Tholms would grow to realize the error of his ways when he started counting dots on simple cartoon TV culture during the time period; along with Tholms’ family life, the nephew of an Ohio family in the oil rich townships where one of his uncles told Tholms about the eco terrorist that would try to sabotage the equipment in that region. Tholms would grow to learn the nature of what is really centered in the political realms and change his mind against his former ideologies, growing to despise socialism and related theocracies. Tholms had believed that many events on the news involving the petroleum industries were no accidents.

Tholms picked up the idea of capitalism, but thought the notions of people actually having control over the government could use a little work. He devised a form of government that involved where the congress actually listened to the people rather than the government making all the decisions for the people, but the idea was far fetched and the idea was written down on a USB drive for later scrutiny by Tholms.

Tholms’ life was centered on something broader than could be described in meaning; everything in actuality was centered against nature and all forms of distrust for creatures that had wild tendencies. He killed many birds with his rifle because of his rage. His factions didn’t dictate whether Tholms was to tolerate or annihilate the creatures of the land, just to make a case against nature for the ways of the wild.

Chapter 4

Tholms would in some day in the future change for the better, but only under circumstances. Tholms’ life changed when all that was said and done meant nothing because in fact he would acquire a new reality within himself as things would unfold; the family of Tholms’ sister would give Tholms a coop with its own flock, Tholms grew to respect the outcome in a way and was satisfied for the time being.

One day Tholms was watching a show on TV about the bible and acquired interest in reading for himself; first Luke, all the way to Philippians, the books of Matthew, Mark, and then a few books from the Old Testament. It was when Tholms was reading Corinthians and came across a familiar verse,

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, and always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I reasoned like a child, I thought like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain; faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love”.

Tholms felt a big bit of remorse after hearing the full story; intrigue and nostalgia were filling a void inside Tholms, one that changed him for the better. After all these years of people dying in his name by some unknown force, Tholms repented in prayer.

The next day Tholms went to the music store that his parents brought him to; Tholms could have chosen to stick with the same music he has been listening to for thirteen years, but he settled on gospel instead.

Tholms’ parents had disabled parking permits and there was a handicap sign over their spot; as the rest of Tholms’ family got into the car, Tholms saw a crow perch on the sign as they were leaving. Tholms’ family thought nothing of it but Tholms was inspired, as if the crow was a messenger from higher up. Tholms would live the rest of his life to remember that moment and make a vow; never to trust in his own understanding and find forgiveness to others, for he has now found out that by giving forgiveness that he himself may be forgiven, and he to this day hopes that it’s just enough to forgive the people who have wronged him in the past.
 

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