The thing that kills relationships

[Fivesenses]

What do you think is the quickest way or the most toxic thing that can destroy an otherwise healthy, happy and love filled relationship between two people?

 

[Journey.In.Grace]

Lack of communication, or lack of willing to communicate, rather. That is how my 8 month long relationship died.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

What do you think is the quickest way or the most toxic thing that can destroy an otherwise healthy, happy and love filled relationship between two people?

Unrealistic expectations.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

1. False love. Sometimes people aren't in love, especially when younger, they just think what they feel is love when its really just a need to feel loved or a crush...etc. So after they have been with someone the fake love fades away. And reality sets in.

2. False sense of what a relationship or marriage is. We see love movies, shows, books and its a happily ever after tale. Many marry assuming that is pretty close to how love works. And while yes, it can have its great moments, over time sometimes that stuff fades away.

3. Young love. I tell people constantly (like 18 year olds) don't get in a relationship yet, or at least don't marry yet. Being young means not being matured enough to understand it or handle it. Which probably sounds mean but just going by past couples and science that says our brains don't fully mature until around 25. By that they mean when we are young we tend to act first, think later (aka find someone fast realize later it wasn't a great idea). But when more mature you think first, act later (takes your time and think things through, get married/find someone).

4. Trust/Honesty/Communication. These are sort of in the same group together. Sometimes people hold back facts about themselves, which later means if/when the person finds out, trust is broken. For other they may lie about things and make things sound better then they are, again when the truth is found out, trust is broken. Two people need to communicate about everything, no matter how nervous/scared you may be about talking about some things.

5. Past baggage. People who have been in relationships before often carry baggage with them from before which spills over into the current relationship. For example the first girl I dated and almost married never told me she had severe mental issues, well among other things. So after we broke up I had trust issues with the next women I met. Which sadly was good because she was lying to me from the start. Which in turn added even MORE trust issues. When I met my wife I emptied my baggage and started fresh with no trust issues or anything else.

6. Cheating. Obvious what this means.

 

[stuart lawrence]

What do you think is the quickest way or the most toxic thing that can destroy an otherwise healthy, happy and love filled relationship between two people?

Not being able to trust your partner

 

[friend of]

Lack of enthusiasm

Caring what everyone surrounding your relationship thinks

 

[Neogaia777]

What do you think is the quickest way or the most toxic thing that can destroy an otherwise healthy, happy and love filled relationship between two people?

Breach(es) of trust....

 

[Tolworth John]

Contempt, the believe that you are better than the other, that they are not as good as you, can never do anything as well as you etc etc

 

[Faith Alone 1 Cor 15:1-4]

What do you think is the quickest way or the most toxic thing that can destroy an otherwise healthy, happy and love filled relationship between two people?

When you find your wife with somebody else in bed , prolly fastes way .

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

Another one is hanging with the same sex a little to much to the point of the person your in a relationship gets upset. Assuming the opposite sex young hanging with and you seem to be closer than just "friends". My second GF was dating 12 other guys at the same time as me. When I told her that was heart breaking and I felt used she said "Don't be upset, out of the 12 your pretty much at the top of the list for marriage material!". Ugh.... just a number.

 

[Left]

My opinion will be controversial, but it's...

To impose fierce regulations on the relationship.

 

[Poppyseed78]

Pride.

 

[Roseonathorn]

Constant critique. And if something is not done perfect one get minus points with an irritating beep on an app that the other has on His Her phone. The other person demands to be obeyed on the second without any questions asked or else He or She gets very upset and starts pounding out bibleverses to state points. The other is always thinking Himself or herself as being superior in everything than His or Her other half, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend. Keeps secrets for the other and has little trust.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

Constant critique. And if something is not done perfect one get minus points with an irritating beep on an app that the other has on His Her phone. The other person demands to be obeyed on the second without any questions asked or else He or She gets very upset and starts pounding out bibleverses to state points. The other is always thinking Himself or herself as being superior in everything than His or Her other half, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend. Keeps secrets for the other and has little trust.

So true. Being married almost 5 years now I can tell you critiquing becomes an issue. Sometimes I get so annoyed that I do it to her or she does it to me. If you do it enough you begin to hold a grudge and anger towards it. Next thing you know you fall out of love and hate each other.

You have to learn to let things go. Some battles can't be won, accepting people are different is part of life. Especially in a marriage. Your two imperfect people marrying each other.

 

[Roseonathorn]

After 15 years You might think nothing You do is right. If You bake healthy bread and pies and homemade vanillacream You get critique and if You make them better You could get less qritique. Yes I agree I used the bread and smoothierecipe out of a Swedish singers exersizebook but in fact I cleaned my kitchenshelves and put in other stuff until the bread tasted perfect. The simple pie trick might be that the vanillacream was too healthy. It has to be plain whipped cream that my husband whipps himself, then the pie is fine too. Sigh. Afterwards I had nettlejuice, with lemonbalm and applejuice and ginger, only for the brave. I used nettles instead of spinach. Then Some of us goodlooking girls in the family did some excersizes out of the book instead of running in the rain. Practical cookbook.

 

[Roseonathorn]

 

[Roseonathorn]

When one spouse sets rules like. I watch movies whenever I want to but You other watch movies only when I allow and on certain conditions and at most 1-2 hour a week and only after You all have run a mile without resting and behaved perfect at the dinnertable and the tricky spouse is also picky about what movie is a good movie and no talking is allowed and some kid has candystop because it was loud at dinnertable or did talk back too much while the other kids can sit and chew snacks. Sigh. healthbaromether is cooking.

 

[blessedmomof5]

Walking away during a conversation because your distracted.
Not acknowledging you have heard what the other person has said with a response.
Feeling that you and your children are not loved or worthy enough to have important things fixed in the house like electrical panel, cars, bringing in garage door opener at night while leaving car in driveway, all the while being asked repeatedly to please take care of all the above, but always saying I forgot.
Saying to your children don't tell mommy or she will get mad at me?
That's the short list!

 

[Roseonathorn]

Taking a pee at Your spouse in the shower is a huge turn off, really deserves a pee sodadrink back at the best but one should not be a beast. I did hear that Australians were told to pee in the shower to save on water. Noone told them to pee on their spouse however.

 

[Ahermit]

Lack of faith that you are okay. It creates ego-fear of not being okay, and one starts exploiting others to get it, and avoiding others that don't give it. It becomes self-centred and the relating in relation-ships becomes unrelated to devotion and oneness.