The Spiritual OCD Trouble

[Nicole Roberson]

Hi. I'm new here. Hopefully I'll get replies here soon. I just came across this website about a week ago. God definitely meant for me to find this, no doubt about that. That's why I decided to join this forum.

I've been going through the exact same thing as many of you since summer of 2018. When it started happening, I thought it was so bizarre. Hasn't stopped. It's been horrible. If any of you see this please pray for me. Since discovering this forum, it's the biggest relief, honestly a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, knowing all these people going through the same thing, describing the EXACT same aspects to the situation. This just came all of the sudden.

It was summer and I'd just finished my 2nd semester of college. I'm 19, going to turn 20 this year. One day a million of these horrible, blasphemous thoughts flood into my head at once and I'm horrified. The same thoughts come into my mind, over and over. Anything good and genuine I say about God and the Holy Spirit, the Devil attempts to twist around into something bad. So I've been trying to counteract these words with random words that aren't really words to kind of block what the Devil says, sort of as a "blah blah blah, I'm not listening to you Devil". Over the months I've noticed that new phrases will be introduced to my mind, and certain ones have stayed since the beginning.

The most horrible thoughts...completely unspeakable. I’d be hearing things about the Mark of the Beast. When I first heard them I was shocked, horrified, and I could feel this cold sensation rise in my stomach. I’d immediately shout “NO!” at these thoughts. Just like many of you, they come and go. Some days aren't too bad, and there was even one day where these thoughts barely came at all, which gave me some confidence. Then some days are just awful. I'll be calling out to God, begging him to do something about this. A couple times I even cried. I became worried about what my life will look like in the future with this large amount of stress, how it will affect my health. I wondered...when will this stop?

I'm mostly able to get sleep, but many times I've had trouble sleeping. There was even this one night that was the worst, and I found myself awake at 2am trying to deal with these thoughts, not able to go to sleep. The times that this affects me the most is when I’m waking up in the morning; and around 5:30 pm and into the night they get more intense and I start to feel extremely anxious and upset. This doesn't hugely interfere with me in my college classes & work/studying, thank God. But sometimes in class, the thoughts will come.

When I'm trying to read a book, they'll try to come too, but thankfully I'm able to become absorbed in the reading and tune it out. I know things could be worse, but this has definitely changed my life. My mom had told me about the unforgivable sin once, and I definitely took this seriously, vowing never to do this, because going to Heaven, being with God has meant everything to me since I was a little girl.

I've grown up a Christian. I've been going to the same Church since I was a literally a baby. I was baptized a few years ago, and so was my brother. But ironically enough, the same year that I'd learned about the unforgivable sin was the same year that this torment came onto me (yes, 2018). I've never told anyone about this, not until this forum, but I haven't told my mom yet. I'm preparing myself to. I know the Devil is purposely trying to keep me from telling her, but I know I shouldn’t be afraid to. I know she’ll understand. I'm ashamed to say I've never really sat down and immersed myself in the Bible. My mom reads the Bible every day. By all means, it's not that I've ever been against reading the Bible or anything. I've just never taken the time to do it. But I'm going to start now. Because that's something I realize I should've been doing long ago.

Also, I've never really had a conversation with the Holy Spirit before until this started happening. Of course I don't deny Him, I just didn't know when I would be talking to Him, and what about. But since this situation, I've started talking to Him, telling Him how much He means to me, and asking Him to give me strength to fight this. I’ve asked to receive Him, for Him to fill my mind with His words, His presence. I’ve declared to Him that I want to be closer to Him, have a strong relationship with Him. I've been reading everyone's stories and taking their advice, which has honestly made me feel so much better.

I'm learning how to stand up to the Devil. I'm starting to learn what I can do. Again, I'm so grateful to God for this website. I'd been doing research about what to do about this ordeal and that's how I found this forum. Since this has been happening, I started feeling strangely uncomfortable whenever I'd hear something or see something related to Christ, and I'd never felt this way before. I love watching these Youtube videos of this channel called a A Call For an Uprising, because he exposes the truth about our world, the New World Order, Illuminati, subliminal messages in pop culture, the dumbing down of society, etc. I love his videos because he helps everyone open their minds. But since this ordeal I weirdly started avoiding listening to his videos. I know I shouldn't, and now I realize that's exactly what the devil wants.

I'd been afraid to do research for some time because I now realize that the Devil has been trying to make me feel guilty, trying to make me think that I've committed the unforgivable sin, that I'm the one thinking all these thoughts. But I know it's not me, because I would never do this. I've started to say to the Devil, "No Devil, I will not say your lies nor will I believe your lies". And this does work to some degree. I often have to say it multiple times for him to go away. But every time he comes back, I just keep saying this to him, and addition telling him that I am a child of God. I've been rebuking the Devil, telling him that I bring God against him, to begone in Jesus name. I speak to God everyday, and I speak to the Holy Spirit all the time, praying for help, advice, and peace & comfort. Confidence.

I believe this will get better in time, even if it never goes away completely. I won't let this take over me and I'm determined to fight. Since discovering this website and learning that learning about the truth, and that I am saved, things have gotten so much better, and I'm starting to see an improvement with this ordeal. Now I'm becoming comfortable again with Christianity, and I'll be watching A Call for An Uprising's videos again. I feel so much better sharing this on a forum, because honestly I just didn't know who to talk to. Sorry this post is so long..


Thank you all, God bless you all. Besides myself, I'll be praying for everyone.

 

[God is good]

Hi, I'm new here. I've already introduced myself and posted this in the 'Introduce Yourself' section. But I'm going to post the same thing here in this thread as I did in the other one because I want to reach out to more people. Hopefully I'll get replies here soon. I just came across this website about a week ago. God definitely meant for me to find this, no doubt about that. That's why I decided to join this forum. I've been going through the exact same thing as many of you since summer of 2018. When it started happening, I thought it was so bizarre. Hasn't stopped. It's been horrible. If any of you see this please pray for me. Since discovering this forum, it's the biggest relief, honestly a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, knowing all these people going through the same thing, describing the EXACT same aspects to the situation. This just came all of the sudden. It was summer and I'd just finished my 2nd semester of college. I'm 19, going to turn 20 this year. One day a million of these horrible, blasphemous thoughts flood into my head and once and I'm horrified. The same thoughts come into my mind, over and over. Anything good and genuine I say about God and the Holy Spirit, the Devil attempts to twist around into something bad. So I've been trying to counteract these words with random words that aren't really words to kind of block what the Devil says, sort of as a "blah blah blah, I'm not listening to you Devil". Over the months I've noticed that new phrases will be introduced to my mind, and certain ones have stayed since the beginning. The most horrible thoughts...completely unspeakable. I’d be hearing things about the Mark of the Beast. When I first heard them I was shocked, horrified, and I could feel this cold sensation rise in my stomach. I’d immediately shout “NO!” at these thoughts. Just like many of you, they come and go. Some days aren't too bad, and there was even one day where these thoughts barely came at all, which gave me some confidence. Then some days are just awful. I'll be calling out to God, begging him to do something about this. A couple times I even cried. I became worried about what my life will look like in the future with this large amount of stress, how it will affect my health. I wondered...when will this stop? I'm mostly able to get sleep, but many times I've had trouble sleeping. There was this even this one night that was the worst, and I found myself awake at 2am trying to deal with these thoughts, not able to go to sleep. The times that this affects me the most is when I’m waking up in the morning; and around 5:30 pm and into the night they get more intense and I start to feel extremely anxious and upset. This doesn't hugely interfere with me in my college classes & work/studying, thank God. But sometimes in class, the thoughts will come. When I'm trying to read a book, they'll try to come too, but thankfully I'm able to become absorbed in the reading and tune it out. I know things could be worse, but this has definitely changed my life. My mom had told me about the unforgivable sin once, and I definitely took this seriously, vowing never to do this, because going to Heaven, being with God has meant everything to me since I was a little girl. I've grown up a Christian. I've been going to the same Church since I was a literally a baby. I was baptized a few years ago, and so was my brother. But ironically enough, the same year that I'd learned about the unforgivable sin was the same year that this torment came onto me (yes, 2018). I've never told anyone about this, not until this forum, but I haven't told my mom yet. I'm preparing myself to. I know the Devil is purposely trying to keep me from telling her, but I know I shouldn’t be afraid to. I know she’ll understand. I'm ashamed to say I've never really sat down and immersed myself in the Bible. My mom reads the Bible every day. By all means, it's not that I've ever been against reading the Bible or anything. I've just never taken the time to do it. But I'm going to start now. Because that's something I realize I should've been doing long ago. Also, I've never really had a conversation with the Holy Spirit before until this started happening. Of course I don't deny Him, I just didn't know when I would be talking to Him, and what about. But since this situation, I've started talking to Him, telling Him how much He means to me, and asking Him to give me strength to fight this. I’ve asked to receive Him, for Him to fill my mind with His words, His presence. I’ve declared to Him that I want to be closer to Him, have a strong relationship with Him. I've been reading everyone's stories and taking their advice, which has honestly made me feel so much better. I'm learning how to stand up to the Devil. I'm starting to learn what I can do. Again, I'm so grateful to God for this website. I'd been doing research about what to do about this ordeal and that's how I found this forum. I'd been afraid to do research for some time because I now realize that the Devil has been trying to make me feel guilty, trying to make me think that I've committed the unforgivable sin, that I'm the one thinking all these thoughts. But I know it's not me, because I would never do this. I've started to say to the Devil, "No Devil, I will not say your lies nor will I believe your lies". And this does work to some degree. I often have to say it multiple times for him to go away. But every time he comes back, I just keep saying this to him, and addition telling him that I am a child of God. I've been rebuking the Devil, telling him that I bring God against him, to begone in Jesus name. I speak to God everyday, and I speak to the Holy Spirit all the time, praying for help, advice, and peace & comfort. Confidence. I believe this will get better in time, even if it never goes away completely. I won't let this take over me and I'm determined to fight. I feel so much better sharing this on a forum, because honestly I just didn't know who to talk to. Sorry this post is so long.


Thank you all, God bless you all. Besides myself, I'll be praying for everyone.[/QUOT. I just want to let you know that God loves you and that He knows your heart and He is always with you. God bless you and Jesus is Lord.

 

[Sabertooth]

@Nicole Roberson , I do not believe that all mental illnesses are demons, but demons can mess with you ON TOP OF your OCD.

I suggest that you keep taking your medicine and visit a church that knows deliverance (like Vineyard) for this particular issue.

I am autistic and have still received deliverance for a number of things.

 

[Mari17]

Hi. I'm new here. Hopefully I'll get replies here soon. I just came across this website about a week ago. God definitely meant for me to find this, no doubt about that. That's why I decided to join this forum. I've been going through the exact same thing as many of you since summer of 2018. When it started happening, I thought it was so bizarre. Hasn't stopped. It's been horrible. If any of you see this please pray for me. Since discovering this forum, it's the biggest relief, honestly a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, knowing all these people going through the same thing, describing the EXACT same aspects to the situation. This just came all of the sudden. It was summer and I'd just finished my 2nd semester of college. I'm 19, going to turn 20 this year. One day a million of these horrible, blasphemous thoughts flood into my head at once and I'm horrified. The same thoughts come into my mind, over and over. Anything good and genuine I say about God and the Holy Spirit, the Devil attempts to twist around into something bad. So I've been trying to counteract these words with random words that aren't really words to kind of block what the Devil says, sort of as a "blah blah blah, I'm not listening to you Devil". Over the months I've noticed that new phrases will be introduced to my mind, and certain ones have stayed since the beginning. The most horrible thoughts...completely unspeakable. I’d be hearing things about the Mark of the Beast. When I first heard them I was shocked, horrified, and I could feel this cold sensation rise in my stomach. I’d immediately shout “NO!” at these thoughts. Just like many of you, they come and go. Some days aren't too bad, and there was even one day where these thoughts barely came at all, which gave me some confidence. Then some days are just awful. I'll be calling out to God, begging him to do something about this. A couple times I even cried. I became worried about what my life will look like in the future with this large amount of stress, how it will affect my health. I wondered...when will this stop? I'm mostly able to get sleep, but many times I've had trouble sleeping. There was even this one night that was the worst, and I found myself awake at 2am trying to deal with these thoughts, not able to go to sleep. The times that this affects me the most is when I’m waking up in the morning; and around 5:30 pm and into the night they get more intense and I start to feel extremely anxious and upset. This doesn't hugely interfere with me in my college classes & work/studying, thank God. But sometimes in class, the thoughts will come. When I'm trying to read a book, they'll try to come too, but thankfully I'm able to become absorbed in the reading and tune it out. I know things could be worse, but this has definitely changed my life. My mom had told me about the unforgivable sin once, and I definitely took this seriously, vowing never to do this, because going to Heaven, being with God has meant everything to me since I was a little girl. I've grown up a Christian. I've been going to the same Church since I was a literally a baby. I was baptized a few years ago, and so was my brother. But ironically enough, the same year that I'd learned about the unforgivable sin was the same year that this torment came onto me (yes, 2018). I've never told anyone about this, not until this forum, but I haven't told my mom yet. I'm preparing myself to. I know the Devil is purposely trying to keep me from telling her, but I know I shouldn’t be afraid to. I know she’ll understand. I'm ashamed to say I've never really sat down and immersed myself in the Bible. My mom reads the Bible every day. By all means, it's not that I've ever been against reading the Bible or anything. I've just never taken the time to do it. But I'm going to start now. Because that's something I realize I should've been doing long ago. Also, I've never really had a conversation with the Holy Spirit before until this started happening. Of course I don't deny Him, I just didn't know when I would be talking to Him, and what about. But since this situation, I've started talking to Him, telling Him how much He means to me, and asking Him to give me strength to fight this. I’ve asked to receive Him, for Him to fill my mind with His words, His presence. I’ve declared to Him that I want to be closer to Him, have a strong relationship with Him. I've been reading everyone's stories and taking their advice, which has honestly made me feel so much better. I'm learning how to stand up to the Devil. I'm starting to learn what I can do. Again, I'm so grateful to God for this website. I'd been doing research about what to do about this ordeal and that's how I found this forum. Since this has been happening, I started feeling strangely uncomfortable whenever I'd hear something or see something related to Christ, and I'd never felt this way before. I love watching these Youtube videos of this channel called a A Call For an Uprising, because he exposes the truth about our world, the New World Order, Illuminati, subliminal messages in pop culture, the dumbing down of society, etc. I love his videos because he helps everyone open their minds. But since this ordeal I weirdly started avoiding listening to his videos. I know I shouldn't, and now I realize that's exactly what the devil wants. I'd been afraid to do research for some time because I now realize that the Devil has been trying to make me feel guilty, trying to make me think that I've committed the unforgivable sin, that I'm the one thinking all these thoughts. But I know it's not me, because I would never do this. I've started to say to the Devil, "No Devil, I will not say your lies nor will I believe your lies". And this does work to some degree. I often have to say it multiple times for him to go away. But every time he comes back, I just keep saying this to him, and addition telling him that I am a child of God. I've been rebuking the Devil, telling him that I bring God against him, to begone in Jesus name. I speak to God everyday, and I speak to the Holy Spirit all the time, praying for help, advice, and peace & comfort. Confidence. I believe this will get better in time, even if it never goes away completely. I won't let this take over me and I'm determined to fight. Since discovering this website and learning that learning about the truth, and that I am saved, things have gotten so much better, and I'm starting to see an improvement with this ordeal. Now I'm becoming comfortable again with Christianity, and I'll be watching A Call for An Uprising's videos again. I feel so much better sharing this on a forum, because honestly I just didn't know who to talk to. Sorry this post is so long..


Thank you all, God bless you all. Besides myself, I'll be praying for everyone.

SO glad you found us!! I've had OCD myself for almost all of my life (since I was about eight). I've had LOTS of different themes; I don't remember having this specific theme, but I know it bothers a LOT of Christians with OCD.

The great thing about those of us with OCD is that we are not spiritually deficient, nor are we under spiritual attack (I'm not saying the devil doesn't use our weaknesses against us, but I'm saying that OCD is not inherently a spiritual problem like a demon or something). Basically, those of us with OCD have a type of anxiety disorder; it's like we have excess anxiety that is just searching for something to latch onto. Everybody gets weird and repulsive thoughts; the problem for people with OCD is that, due to our brain chemical makeup and excess anxiety, instead of dismissing a repulsive thought as illogical, we start to analyze it and become afraid that it's true. For example, "Maybe I really do want to blaspheme the Holy Spirit! No, I know I don't. But what if I do want to? How do I know for sure?" We quickly spiral into a hyper-analytical, fearful mode that makes us unable to think clearly about our obsessive topic.

The great news is that it is possible to have victory over OCD. Of course, we'll probably always be pre-disposed to it; things will come up that try to tempt us to worry, thoughts that try to drag us into the obsessive cycle. But we can learn to say no to it. We can learn to recognize that the thoughts are just products of our hyper-analytical brains, and we don't have to freak out at the thoughts. Even though they FEEL real, and we're afraid we really DO want them, we can practice ignoring them and not paying them any attention. As we do, our brains will gradually learn that we WON'T respond to its false anxiety signals, and it will stop sending the bothersome thoughts - and even if it does, we won't be bothered by them, because we've learned how to react to them.

There's so much more I could say! But for now, I'll leave you with a couple of my favorite resources. Please also feel free to pm me anytime!
http://ocdandchristianity.com/ HIGHLY recommend this site, especially the blog posts.
Welcome
https://www.ocdonline.com/

I'm also part of a Facebook group, "Christianity and Anxiety Disorders," that has been very helpful and encouraging, so feel free to look that up on FB and join us if you'd like!