The rise of the lonely single man

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Juan777

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Seems like everyone can see the upcoming economic collapse and famine, but very few people want to call it what it is, because then they know exactly what comes next, and their faith hinges on not going through that even though, as it stands, it would mean that 2 horsemen are already at work. But to me.. well, we already saw the whole world seemingly conquered without a war, with every leader saying "build back better" that they all got from the WEF, and we're seeing developing countries collapse over civil unrest and wars and rumors of wars, everyone thinks the second horse is world war.. well, there's no huge death toll tied to the 2nd horse, it's tied to the 4th. I suppose I am less anxious about it because I know what it is and have a good idea of what happens shortly after.

and if I die from it, well, Jesus will raise me up.
If I survive through it, it's by the grace of God.

I got nothing better so God can use me as a ragdoll if He wants.

Like I said, at least you dont have to worry about being single. The end of the world usually eclipses these issues.
 
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Jamdoc

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Like I said, at least you dont have to worry about being single. The end of the world usually eclipses these issues.

Well the worry is less about being single now and the prospect that you are single FOREVER. That's the joy killer.
 
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Juan777

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Well the worry is less about being single now and the prospect that you are single FOREVER. That's the joy killer.

My late Aunt was single when she went on to be with the Lord. I doubt she cares about that. Daniel was a eunuch. Elijah did not get married or do funny business with the starving widow. You have bad stories with Sampson who was weak with women and it did not go nicely with him, or Solomon for thay matter.
 
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Jamdoc

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My late Aunt was single when she went on to be with the Lord. I doubt she cares about that. Daniel was a eunuch. Elijah did not get married or do funny business with the starving widow. You have bad stories with Sampson who was weak with women and it did not go nicely with him, or Solomon for thay matter.

and yet, the Lord Himself said it is not good that the man should be alone.
and this pain is not at all balmed by being in say a church, a place where I feel tolerated rather than accepted. I feel MOST alone when in a crowd.

Nothing makes you more conscious of being alone, than to be surrounded by people grouped with their families... all giving you empty space around you, because while they'll profess to love you as another brother in Christ.... they don't really know you. They don't know YOU. They know you love Jesus.. and that's enough to obligate them, but not enough for them to choose.

Funny you bring up Elijah.
Elijah was so isolated that he went into depression and would hardly get up to eat. The Lord had to have angels bring him sustenance and command him to eat and drink. Elijah asked the Lord to kill him, and a large part of it was because he felt all alone, that everyone else in the country had become Baal worshipers. Elijah is one of my examples of how being used by God is not always puppy dogs and ice cream and some Godly men that God used mightily were not at all happy. God does what glorifies Him the most, your happiness is not always relevant to that.
 
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timewerx

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In the OP's article link it said:

"men typically are happier and healthier when partnered."

That's because those men are already happier BEFORE they got partnered, even when they're still single, compared to the chronically single men. This has something to do with a man's personality and this society tends to favor certain personality types and punishes the rest.

Healthier because women tend to enforce health-improving habits to men they are partnered with. If the man is already health-conscious during single, then it won't make any difference if they're partnered or not.

Seeking happiness shouldn't be the goal of a Christian but only seeking the Truth, nothing more, nothing less.
 
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Jamdoc

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In the OP's article link it said:

"men typically are happier and healthier when partnered."

That's because those men are already happier BEFORE they got partnered, even when they're still single, compared to the chronically single men. This has something to do with a man's personality and this society tends to favor certain personality types and punishes the rest.

Healthier because women tend to enforce health-improving habits to men they are partnered with. If the man is already health-conscious during single, then it won't make any difference if they're partnered or not.

Seeking happiness shouldn't be the goal of a Christian but only seeking the Truth, nothing more, nothing less.

Men are typically happier and healthier when partnered because God designed them to be that way.
If they were happy and healthy and everything good alone, God would have just spawned a bunch of men like He did angels.
But God looked at Adam and said this wasn't good.
As far as the bible goes, it's the first thing God made that He said wasn't good.
 
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Juan777

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and yet, the Lord Himself said it is not good that the man should be alone.
and this pain is not at all balmed by being in say a church, a place where I feel tolerated rather than accepted. I feel MOST alone when in a crowd.

I never mentioned anything about church for purposes of this discussion as being a solution to this.
We all know about the "within the four walls" of a building thing.

You are right, God said it's not good for man to be alone.

Jamdoc said:
Nothing makes you more conscious of being alone, than to be surrounded by people grouped with their families... all giving you empty space around you, because while they'll profess to love you as another brother in Christ.... they don't really know you. They don't know YOU. They know you love Jesus.. and that's enough to obligate them, but not enough for them to choose.

Again, I don't know what I can say about that.

Jamdoc said:
Funny you bring up Elijah.
Elijah was so isolated that he went into depression and would hardly get up to eat. The Lord had to have angels bring him sustenance and command him to eat and drink. Elijah asked the Lord to kill him, and a large part of it was because he felt all alone, that everyone else in the country had become Baal worshipers. Elijah is one of my examples of how being used by God is not always puppy dogs and ice cream and some Godly men that God used mightily were not at all happy. God does what glorifies Him the most, your happiness is not always relevant to that.

Elijah got a nasty rejection letter from Jezebel. She wanted to kill him after what he did to Baal's prophets (he killed them). This had nothing to do with loneliness. It has to do with a transference of spirits with him reading her letter. Had he not received or read that letter he would be feeling great.

This was after a time that Elijah experience victory in a showdown between Jehovah and Baal and there was no reason for him to be in that state of mind.
 
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Juan777

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Men are typically happier and healthier when partnered because God designed them to be that way.
If they were happy and healthy and everything good alone, God would have just spawned a bunch of men like He did angels.
But God looked at Adam and said this wasn't good.
As far as the bible goes, it's the first thing God made that He said wasn't good.

Are you mad with God because you are alone?
 
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Jamdoc

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Elijah got a nasty rejection letter from Jezebel. She wanted to kill him after what he did to Baal's prophets (he killed them). This had nothing to do with loneliness. It has to do with a transference of spirits with him reading her letter. Had he not received or read that letter he would be feeling great.

This was after a time that Elijah experience victory in a showdown between Jehovah and Baal and there was no reason for him to be in that state of mind.

1 Kings 19
9 And he came thither unto a cave, and lodged there; and, behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and he said unto him, What doest thou here, Elijah?
10 And he said, I have been very jealous for the Lord God of hosts: for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.

It had everything to do with Elijah feeling isolated. He felt alone in the midst of a people hostile to him, that they'd all turned to Baal worship and he was the only man who still worshiped the true and living God that he knew of.

How did God end up comforting Elijah?
By telling Elijah to take on Elisha as his companion and successor, and reassuring Elijah that he was not alone.

15 And the Lord said unto him, Go, return on thy way to the wilderness of Damascus: and when thou comest, anoint Hazael to be king over Syria:
16 And Jehu the son of Nimshi shalt thou anoint to be king over Israel: and Elisha the son of Shaphat of Abelmeholah shalt thou anoint to be prophet in thy room.
a Godly companion

17 And it shall come to pass, that him that escapeth the sword of Hazael shall Jehu slay: and him that escapeth from the sword of Jehu shall Elisha slay.
18 Yet I have left me seven thousand in Israel, all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal, and every mouth which hath not kissed him.
and you're not the only one still faithful.
 
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Jamdoc

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Are you mad with God because you are alone?

mad no.
disheartened, sad, disappointed, yes.
like even to the point where I've been made allergic to dogs and cats, like I can't even have an animal as a companion.
I'm disabled and lack transportation.

But anger tends to focus on self, and devaluation of self can be common in isolation, you feel worthless

hey, Elijah experienced that too.

again 1 Kings 19
4 But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers.

Isolation and depression, can, honestly, make you very irrational. It leads to self loathing, and devaluing yourself. Elijah, who'd just seen God bring down fire from heaven in front of men and was a prophet, felt like he was no better than his fathers and should just die.

Ironically enough, what led to his isolation and depression was fleeing from a threat on his life. The flight and hiding and isolation led to him wishing he'd just die.
 
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ThisIsMe123

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So what I'm kinda trying to say is that many people think that God has this ideal that everyone just be single and devoted to Him alone, and that being single and celibate is an increase in Holiness. I mean that after all, was Paul's opinion in 1 Corinthians 7. But God's design was not that at all. God's design was that it was not good for the man to be alone and His solution was marriage. Marriage is in itself holy. It is a covenant relationship that God intended for Humans to live in. Too many forget that, and think it's some worldly semi-sin that they almost have to repent of. Paul at times didn't look at marriage as being a holy covenant relationship that God created. Paul sometimes looked at marriage (when in his own personal opinion, which is what he expresses in that part of 1 Corinthians) as just a means to avoid fornication by having a legal way to deal with sex drive. This was fairly early in his ministry and later we see a more mature theology of marriage in Ephesians 5.

Yeah, it just seems some people are using God as an excuse not to put themselves out there to actively date. I dunno, it's uncharacteristic of a Christian NOT to want marriage, you know?
 
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trophy33

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Seeking happiness shouldn't be the goal of a Christian but only seeking the Truth, nothing more, nothing less.
It provides happiness, but of a different kind than that of fleshy pleasures.
 
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Juan777

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mad no.
disheartened, sad, disappointed, yes.
like even to the point where I've been made allergic to dogs and cats, like I can't even have an animal as a companion.
I'm disabled and lack transportation.

But anger tends to focus on self, and devaluation of self can be common in isolation, you feel worthless

hey, Elijah experienced that too.

again 1 Kings 19


Isolation and depression, can, honestly, make you very irrational. It leads to self loathing, and devaluing yourself. Elijah, who'd just seen God bring down fire from heaven in front of men and was a prophet, felt like he was no better than his fathers and should just die.

Ironically enough, what led to his isolation and depression was fleeing from a threat on his life. The flight and hiding and isolation led to him wishing he'd just die.

What about your natural family? Mother? Sister? Cousins? Do you live by yourself or with someone?
 
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Juan777

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Yeah, it just seems some people are using God as an excuse not to put themselves out there to actively date. I dunno, it's uncharacteristic of a Christian NOT to want marriage, you know?

It sounds like all Protestant Christians on this thread who are single want marriage. Who can argue against that? It is just sad when its not actualized as @Jamdoc is saying.
 
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VCR-2000

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In the OP's article link it said:

"men typically are happier and healthier when partnered."

That's because those men are already happier BEFORE they got partnered, even when they're still single, compared to the chronically single men. This has something to do with a man's personality and this society tends to favor certain personality types and punishes the rest.

Healthier because women tend to enforce health-improving habits to men they are partnered with. If the man is already health-conscious during single, then it won't make any difference if they're partnered or not.

Seeking happiness shouldn't be the goal of a Christian but only seeking the Truth, nothing more, nothing less.
So I should just forget about finding happiness altogether? What kind of faith is that?
 
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Jamdoc

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What about your natural family? Mother? Sister? Cousins? Do you live by yourself or with someone?

they're all devout unbelievers if you take my meaning, I can't really call them company. Just another group of people who tolerate me but I don't really feel accepted.
 
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Jamdoc

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Be happy with what you have. Not constantly unhappy with things you do not have.

When a person has an unmet need (and I would argue that love and companionship are needs not just wants) they tend not to be able to focus on "the silver lining".
Try telling a man dying of thirst and hunger and heat stroke in the desert that "you know what? this landscape is really quite pretty when you look at it, the sun is shining, the rocks are all shades of yellows and pinks and oranges, it's like a Bob Ross paining but done by the hand of God"
 
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Jamdoc

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..and your guardian angels?

Show me biblically where everyone has Guardian angels, but even if true, more invisible intangibles you can't hold a conversation with, and couldn't give you a hug even if you were on the verge of tears and need one.
 
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