the punishing thread!

[Kerensa]

Q. Where does the Lone Ranger take his garbage?
A. To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump...

 

[tulc]

I'm sad to report a mated pair of bears inexplicably attacked and killed a zoo keeper in the Prague national zoo over the weekend. It wasn't clear which of them killed and ate the man so they had to perform a necropsy on both animals.
The Czech was in the male.

 

[tulc]

I asked the librarian if she knew any authors who wrote books about dinosaurs, she said:
"Try Sara Topps!"

 

[tulc]

I guess you can't use "beefstew" as a password, apparently it's not stroganoff

 

[tulc]

It was recently discovered that William Tell and his son were members of a bowling league but the name of the teams sponsors seems to have been lost beyond discovering...so no one knows for whom the Tells bowled.

 

[Moral Orel]

All of the planets in our solar system are named after Roman gods. Except for Earth, which is named after all the stuff on the ground.

 

[Moral Orel]

I asked the librarian if she knew any authors who wrote books about dinosaurs, she said:
"Try Sara Topps!"

I was at the library the other day and I was shocked! I ran straight to the librarian and asked, "What's this 'Psycho the Rapist' section?!"

She said, "You mean psychotherapist".

 

[tulc]

I've been diagnosed with chronic fear of giants
it's called feefiphobia.

 

[Kerensa]

I swallowed a handful of Scrabble tiles just for fun. Now I'm afraid my next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

 

[tulc]

Haunted french pancakes give me the crepes!

 

[Kerensa]

Q. How do you approach an angry Welsh cheese?
A. Caerphilly.

 

[Moral Orel]

I have an on-again/off-again relationship with my lamp.

 

[tulc]

I call my horse mayo...and sometimes? mayo neighs!

 

[Kerensa]

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

 

[Kerensa]

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realised that toucan play at that game.

 

[Kerensa]

I put all my spare cash into an origami business. It folded.

 

[Kerensa]

What does C.S. Lewis keep at the back of his wardrobe?
Narnia business!

 

[tulc]

I was saddened to hear my friend was run over by a boat while in Venice. unfortunately he died.
I sent his family my gondolences.

 

[tulc]

just found out I can't check my screaming kid in with my luggage while I'm flying...guess I'm going to have to carry-on my wayward son.

 

[tulc]

anyone know where you find out how heavy your bake goods are?
somewhere, over the rainbow, that's where you weigh a pie.