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The Prodigal Daughter

Discussion in 'General Struggles' started by reeann, Nov 20, 2002.

  1. reeann

    reeann Trust and Obey

      Just briefly: I met God in a Bible study class (long story i'm not going to get into details how I got there..its not important).  In that classroom, the fog of disbelief was removed and the Spirit of God was clear to me, He loved me.  I did not go forward and pray the Sinner's pray until two weeks following that experience (it was Father's Day, 1991).  I was baptised three weeks after that.  All I can tell you is that my life did a 360 back then, God did miracle to me and for my family.  Through Bible Study, I started becoming more and more involved in serving God and the church.  I had an awesome group of Brothers and Sisters who help me grow in Christ.   In October 1994, I moved to a different State with my husband.  Since leaving that church, my walk with God deteroriated  It was an all at once process, it was gradual to the point of the past two years where I have had absolutely nothing to do with God.  Of course, sin in my life started to abound.I feel like such a fool.  I go back over the past few years and I'm embarrassed at myself.  I still don't know how i could have sunk so low.

    I have repented to God but I feel weaker than I ever have.  I have repented in my heart and this place has been a blessing.  However, I know I need to get back within the accountability of the church and God's people, back into regular commune with God, back to studying His word... etc..

    I still do not feel that fellowship I did once with God. 

    My questions to you all are this:

    1.  I know sin has consequence, can God ever use me in ministry again?

    2.  What passages would you all recommend for me right now.  I still am feeling ungrounded.  I know this has been my fault.

    It helps me to take these doubts in my brain and post them here to you all.  I know Jesus loves me, I know I want to be like Him. 

    For all of you THINKING of not going to church, waning away from Christian Fellowship, let me say WARNING... you will lose out on so much.  I even miss the lady who was grouchy!!
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. Mr.Cheese

    Mr.Cheese Legend

    I'm right there with ya sis.
    Hmm...Psalm 51 is always good for this.
    And just start reading the bible every day and spending time with God. When I decided to do that things really changed.

    You're gonna beat yourself up for a while. You're going to deal with shame and regret and feel unusable to God.
    I don't know how to keep you from doing that. I think it's an issue you have to deal with in your own in your own time.

    We all learn lessons through mistakes. Sometimes it's years of mistakes. The trick is to get back up and learn from messing up. Learn from the mistake(s) and don't stay stuck in that cycle of repeating the same mistakes over and over. When you tell the child not to touch the pretty red burner on the stove and he goes and touches it, he gets burned. It hurts for a while. Chances are he's never going to do that again.

    Be thankful to God for what he has done for you. Appreciate what He has done. Remain humble before Him, knowing you are completely at His mercy and mercy is something none of us deserves.
    Believe in His mercy.
  3. GodOwnsMe

    GodOwnsMe Well-Known Member

    1. I'm having bid trouble sometimes beliving God to forgive me.but he does & that means it's all washed away, all of your past, he's gonna restore you..pray over it & ask him to direct your steps about what to do ......ministry....that's a word I'm not too familiar with but I believe he sure can :)
    2. well.... a passage that's been helping me recently is 1.John 4/8.......
    God is love.... hehe I dunno if that fits but it's great to know :):)

    God Bless you !!
  4. reeann

    reeann Trust and Obey

    Mr. Cheese, Bingo, thanks for the Bible Verse !!

    To the Little One Owned by God: WOW, so wise at such a young age!
    Remember God is love is a wonderful verse! :)
  5. endure

    endure Active Member

    yes god can still use you in the ministry.
    peter failed god more than once, all the disciples failed god in garden, they all ran.
    everyone of them forsook god and failed him.
    yet everyone of them became a mighty man of god later.

    one time i was reading a very classical scripture from
    2 chronicles 7.13-16
    "if i shut up heavon that there be no rain, or if i command the locust to devour the land, or if i send pestilence amoung my people"

    gods speaking to solomon about judging isreal for their great sin, they had greatly backslid and gone whoring and defiled themselves and their country and shamed the name of God.
    but then god offers an alternative, becuase destruction and punishment are never his delight.

    if my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves and pray. and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will i hear from heavon and forgive their sin and heal their land.
    for now have a chosen and sancitified this house, that my name may be their forever and myne eyes and myne heart shall be their perpetually.

    do you realise even though you backslid, and even though you sinned and turned from god, that he still considers you one of his people? and he still calls you by his name?
    and hes not mad at you?

    what did the father of the prodigal son do for him?
    do you know god takes more joy in the fact that you returned from your sin, than he would if you hadnt have left?
    god doesnt care what youve done, all he cares is about you and making sure your ok.

    i remember my bible college teacher saying something pretty insignificant to me, but it kinda shows gods heart.

    he walked up to me and asked me if i was going to go a second year in the college, and i told him i still owed money on last year and didnt have the money for a new year.
    and he said
    "just come,we dont care about the money, we can work that out, but we just want ya there...."

    god just wants you home. he doesnt look at all the stuff you did, he just wants you home.

    jesus told of a man leaving the 99 sheep and going to find the 1 that strayed. and he said the man took more joy in finding the 1, than in the 99 staying.

    when i read that verse from 2 chronicles it broke me to tears.
    i was deep in sin and didnt know how to get out and was afraid that i had lost it all.....
    but god said he still considered me one of his children... it made me weep like a baby.
    the bible says his mercy and grace are everlasting. and they are new each morning.

    john 1.16 says that jesus is full of  "grace for grace"
    or grace upon grace.
    a grace that never ends.

    yes you can still be used in the ministry.

    i remember the book of jonah.
    god sent him to nineveh
    "arise and go to nineveh...." jonah 1.2
    but he rebbelled agaisnt god, and he fell away from god.
    but he repented and came back to god and the bible says
    "and the word of the lord came unto jonah the second time saying arise go unto nineveh...." jonah 3.1,2

    just like god forgave jonah and used him still, he wants to do the same with you.

    i just recommend reading the book of jonah or whatever you choose to read really, any part of the word of god is life and spirit. jesus said the word of god is life and spirit. no matter what you read it is life and strength to you if you read it slowly and prayerfully with the holyspirit.
    but the psalms are amasing.
    like psalm 91. wow. i could read that one everyday.

    or one of my faveorite is 126, its an awesome psalm about the power of god to forgive his people and set them back in high places.

    "when the lord turned again the captivity of zion we were like them that dream, then was our mouth filled with laughter and our tongue with singing!..."

    dont ever think god is through with you because when the lord delivered isreal they thought it was like a dream...to good to be true... like "IS THIS REALLY REAL!!!!???? MYYYY GOD! THIS IS AMASING!"

    the word of god is of utmost importance, the word of god is the power by which god gave us the ability to become the sons of gods, to be recreated. john 1. the word of god is the key to your new life.
    but the word of god is fire, and prayer is the fuel.
    fire does not burn where their is no fuel.

    in the beggining, the holyspirit moved or brooded over the face of the deep, THEN god spoke the word... and something amasing happened.
    but god did not speak untill the holyspirit had first brooded on the earth, the holyspirit often implies or pictures the presence of god or the annointing.

    untill you lay before the lord alone in prayer and let him move and brood over your body and your life, the word of god will not set you ablase. the word will teach you things, but prayer will make you come into contact with god himself and that is the most important thing.
    without prayer, the word of god is pointless.
    and without the word of god, prayer is in vain.

    i would say before you opened your bible to study and meditate, you should first lay before the lord in prayer and have him prepare you and fix you, becuase untill the holyspirit prepares us and breaks us, we are carnal and evil and the word of god cannot penetrate us. but it stays on the hard ground, and the enemies snatches those words away.

    yes study, but do not forget to get alone with god and pray from your spirit, not from your mind, but from the hunger and passion in your heart. do not think of things to ask god for... but tell god what you feel inside. the thing that is inside you, thats what god is interested in, take it and lift it up before the lord.

    if you ever find yourself thinking of how to pray or what to say, stop, get quiet for a few seconds and look inside and find what your feeling, what is your spirit crying out for? what is the reason youve come to prayer for? what is it you need?
    and then communicate that to god. let the prayer come from inside your being, not your brain.
    it is the diffrent between praying from intellect that could not move dust, and praying in the spirit that can move the foundations of heavon.
    ya know how sometimes it feels like prayer is coming from your stomach and not your brain? i dont know, maybe im the only one that feels that way hehe...

    many times i dont even need to open my bible, i will, but often times i get up from my prayer place and have already experienced god in such a powerful way that i could leave and be fine.
    you may not always have time for much reading, but no matter what pray.

  6. GraftMeIn

    GraftMeIn The Masters Gardener

    It's much harder when we must step back into the light after not being in it for awhile. But the Lord is still there, And he is calling you to him. I posted some things awhile ago on the subject. Maybe reading them will help you a bit.

    here's something on what we go through after backsliding.

    And just a poem about how I found my way back into the light.

    I hope they can at least bring you some comfort.

    Just keep drawing yourself closer to Him, and keep reading the Bible, also pray for understanding each time you read His Word.
  7. reeann

    reeann Trust and Obey

    Wow, i'm speechless, and i'm cutting and pasting.
    This is EXACTLY my fear!!

    my heart has repented, but I have NOT done this.... i knew i coldn't sleep for a reason. Goes to do this now. thank you!
  8. Dewjunkie

    Dewjunkie Well-Known Member

    Reeann, I know all too well what you feel. I grew up as a minister's son, always knew God and saw first hand throughout my upbringing his wonderful love for us. Around 18-19, I decided that I was fine on my own, and while I never disowned God, I just walked away from Him for too long. About 7 years. I did a lot of things in those seven years that I am ashamed of, and although I am sure God has forgiven me, and I am walking with Him again, I still have doubts about my standing with Him. I can't seem to remember that God forgives and forgets, every time. I still struggle with an addiction I developed during my backslide, and feel guilty because I haven't beaten it.

    But, I know in my heart and mind that the devil WANTS me to doubt. He wants me to question myself and my ability to walk with God. I have to remind myself that God is a loving, forgiving God and is happy to have me back in his service. I am still growing, and trying to regain all of my faith. A lot has happened to me this year, and I could easily view a lot of it as punishment, but I know my God is not a vengeful God.

    I am saying this, many of us struggle with feeling "good enough" for God. But if you are truly refocusing your life on Him, He wants you back and welcomes you back. He certainly can use you in ministry, all you have to do is trust that He wants you. Easier said than done (I know), but necessary to regaining your walk.

    Oh, and I find most of the Psalms refueling.
  9. DaveKerwin

    DaveKerwin Represent the Most High


    let me answer your questions.

    1. Yes, undoubtedly I tell you that God can use you in ministry again. The same way he uses me, a fellow sinner. Do not doubt even for a second that this is true.

    2. I would remind of you 2 Peter 1: 1-10

    "Simon Peter, a servant and apostle of Jesus Christ, To those who through the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ have received a faith as precious as ours: Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. "

    I bring your attention to the end of verse nine which says "he has forgotton that he has been cleansed from his past sins." My question to you is this: Have you forgotton that you have been cleansed from past sins? Have you forgotton that the blood of Jesus Christ has cleansed you from ALL unrighteousness?

    Be encouraged, God is so good that he loves us despite our mistakes. You said you repented, well now you just have to accept God's grace and mercy, and no longer live being ridden with guilt. I used to live that way. It was no good and God did not use me. Be confident in God's forgiveness and allow him to use you again, which I know he will do.