Just for the past few months I've been feeling like I've been missing something in my life. I'd like to think I was a Christian when I was younger around early middle school. As time went on I gradually became more and more skeptical per say and in turn drifted away from Christianity. Since then to around last year I was rather atheistic and had made some regrettable remarks about Christianity and God. However now, I have become less of an atheist in my beliefs and have been struggling with my beliefs as about God. Part of what is on mind is just wondering why would God make people like myself struggle with things like this and more. I don't really know what to believe anymore as both sides of are quite split.
Chillguy,
I think most of us struggle with religious faith, Chillguy, so you aren't really in any kind of 'real' minority. Most people find it hard to agree about all kind of things, or they find it difficult to admit they don't actually agree with everyone around them. A lot of that is common; and a lot of that is, to some degree, normal. What isn't normal is for Christians to beat each other up, whether physically or emotionally, when they disagree. When we do, we tend to become defensive about it; and we become bitter rather than better.
In your thinking about the truth of Christianity, you might find that despite the fact that many denominations say some different things, they have some things in common. And you may want to realize that views about God and even about Jesus and the Holy Spirit can be morphed into a variety of articulations and understandings because no two human brains are identical, nor do they process information in identical ways. Thus, each person can have different perspectives or emotions about the various 'official doctrines.'
Some diversity in thought among believers is alright to have, and in some cases, it may even be beneficial in that it spurs people on to think more deeply about God and the Truth that God Himself has revealed to us, which in itself is a limited, non-comprehensive amount of information.
We should also expect some small portion of doctrine to be common in ALL Christian denominations, and acceptable to ALL believers. In fact, we do. One such doctrine is that of the Trinity. Another is the ordinance of the Lord's Supper. Yet another is the ordinance of Baptism. Yet another is the importance of the written revelation produced by God's inspired spokesmen (i.e. the Bible). Of course, the application and inferred meanings about these central ideas of faith can have diverse definitions, but the essential core is still there.
I don't think this should be surprising, being that Jesus seems to have inferred that we should expect our theological stock to contain some old traditional ideas, as well as to have room for new insights as they come about among various Christians. We just have be to willing to be accountable for what we hold as truth, and we have to be willing to make amendments to our understanding as we may learn new ideas, data, and truth.
So, relax. Take a slow, deep breath in...and try not to see Christian faith so much as an exacting assent to super-specific theological ideals, but rather as an expansive spiritual journey that takes you into the presence of the Holy Trinity (the Lord), His people, and into and throughout His world and universe. All the way along, you'll find Jesus waiting there for you.
Peace,
2PhiloVoid
