The Parenting Advice You Didn't Request

Rescued One

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But the Lord has laid it on my heart to share!

Do you have the fruit of the Holy Spirit? (Staff Edit)


Galatians 5 ESV

16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. 19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21envy,d drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who doe such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

(Staff Edit)

Ephesians 6 ESV
4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Commentary
Geneva Study Bible
{6} And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and {c}admonition of the Lord.
(6) It is the duty of fathers to use their fatherly authority moderately and to God's glory.
(c) Such information and precepts which are taken out of God's book, and are holy and acceptable to him.

Ephesians 6:4 KJV: And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Authoritative discipline works a thousand times better than authoritarian!
(Staff Edit)

The authoritative parenting style: Warmth, rationality, and high standards

What is the authoritative parenting style?
Frequently hailed as the best way to raise kids, it's an approach that emphasizes sensitivity, reasoning, setting limits, and being emotionally responsive.

It's common among many educated, middle class families, and linked with superior child outcomes throughout the world.

Kids raised by authoritative parents are more likely to become independent, self-reliant, socially accepted, academically successful, and well-behaved.
https://www.parentingscience.com/authoritative-parenting-style.html

Christian parents are doing this with good outcomes. They didn't read any articles. They were blessed to have been raised that way themselves. So...
Christian keep-calm-read-your-bible-5.png :heart:
 

thecolorsblend

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Children are different from each other so what works for one might not work for another. Why not simply give each child what they need and abandon the One Size Fits All approach?
 
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Rescued One

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Children are different from each other so what works for one might not work for another. Why not simply give each child what they need and abandon the One Size Fits All approach?

So true, but the fruit of the Spirit is still the way to go.

Another idea is to write a list of rules and consequences and follow them. Some people get very angry and don't follow through --- inconsistency confuses a child.
 
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Hearingheart

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Children are different from each other so what works for one might not work for another. Why not simply give each child what they need and abandon the One Size Fits All approach?

So true, but the fruit of the Spirit is still the way to go.

I agree with thecolorsblend....just because we treat each child individually doesn't mean we aren't using the fruits of the Spirit. In fact, it makes us more dependent on the Spirit. Every child is different and not every child will respond to rules the same way.
 
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com7fy8

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Rules can help show where not to go. But we need to feed good example of how they need to grow and know how to love and relate.

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

I think there is a general thing which helps > a child needs to spend time with a mature adult who knows how to relate in love. The child needs to do love things with such a person so the child finds out that things can be done in love. Chores can be a love thing.

"Let all that you do be done with love." (1 Corinthians 16:14)

So, if we leave a child with a pile of toys and a TV and video games to babysit the child, this is what the child will bond with, then later your voice might not mean much. Yes, the child might do things you say, but will they be done with love?
 
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Rescued One

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I agree with thecolorsblend....just because we treat each child individually doesn't mean we aren't using the fruits of the Spirit. In fact, it makes us more dependent on the Spirit. Every child is different and not every child will respond to rules the same way.

Oh, I don't accuse people of not having the fruit! How the child responds doesn't change the rules, the patience and kindness and consistency.

James 1
19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

Learn to communicate with the difficult child.

The authoritative parenting style: Warmth, rationality, and high standards
 
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Rescued One

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It is my understanding that this forum is for asking for advice, not giving unsolicited advice and well, lectures.

A lecture? No. Where should godly advice be given? Children are worth being raised as Christian children.
 
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LoricaLady

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A lecture? No. Where should godly advice be given? Children are worth being raised as Christian children.
Again, this forum is for ASKING for Christian advice. When I go to read an OP here I am not looking for someone to give me a sermon, so feel my time is being wasted if that's what I find in the OP. I know where to get any sermons I am interested in. If you want to give advice, perhaps you should use this forum as it was intended and respond to others' queries here.
 
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Rescued One

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Again, this forum is for ASKING for Christian advice. When I go to read an OP here I am not looking for someone to give me a sermon, so feel my time is being wasted if that's what I find in the OP. I know where to get any sermons I am interested in. If you want to give advice, perhaps you should use this forum as it was intended and respond to others' queries here.

Are you a moderator? I wasn't sure where to post this. I'm so sorry that this advice offends you. Everyone is free to take it or leave it and that is undoubtedly what each person will do. I'd love for people to discuss it. They can tell me where this advice is wrong and why.
 
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LoricaLady

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Are you a moderator? I wasn't sure where to post this. I'm so sorry that this advice offends you. Everyone is free to take it or leave it and that is undoubtedly what each person will do. I'd love for people to discuss it. They can tell me where this advice is wrong and why.
The moderators don't seem to get on a string unless they are requested to do so. I think the suggestion above seems good, to go to the parenting forum. A moderator can be contacted about that.
 
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