leothelioness
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- Apr 4, 2006
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The ONLY reason I would ever friendzone a guy is if I don't find him attractive. That's it.
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The ONLY reason I would ever friendzone a guy is if I don't find him attractive. That's it.
There is a conspicuous lack of female input into this thread.
Methinks they are all conversing and giggling in the corner at the collective headspin they have put men into - as evidenced by men who attempt to categorize and strain personalities out of broad archetypes.
Just know your cave and carry a big club. That is all you need.
Good thing I likes me some crazy.
I got the whole friendzone crap from a girl I was interested back in Sept....yup, I quit talking to her.
I can't speak for her, but personally I would be glad if he decided to quit talking to me. I wouldn't want a guy I just rejected to want to try and be my friend, because you know what that usually means (they're holding out that maybe you'll change your mind and they'll get out of the "friendzone").Unless she was a complete jerk to you, this is SO ridiculous. If you quit talking with her because she didn't want to be more than friends, then I'm glad it never worked out in the first place. Not to be mean but it's selfish to make your interaction with a girl contingent on whether or not she meets your relational demands. I've been "friendzoned" by at least one girl and we still have an awesome friendship with each other and I hold nothing against her. This is what I'm talking about whenever I say that, if you want to get into a relationship, don't make it about you. It should be about HER. You should want what's best for her at that moment in time. If a relationship isn't what is best for her because she just doesn't feel the same way (which is a hard thing to control/influence), then that should be respected. But breaking off the friendship altogether isn't really honoring her and it makes it quite apparent that the whole scenario had a lot more to do with you than it did with her...unless I missed something.
And if you believe in God's sovereignty over your life, you would agree that it just wasn't the season ordained yet by God for you to be in a relationship, meaning that it probably had more to do with God than it did her...
No, Deacon was on point here....he was looking for a relationship, she wasn't, he moved on. I don't think that has much to do with sovereignty and other things best left for dusty books in giant libraries. It all has to do with plain logical sense.
Speaking for myself here, I'm tired of marching my team up the field and then getting stuffed at the goal line. It hasn't happened recently (month or two ago), but when you know what doesn't work you know what doesn't work. And this whole "getting out of the friendzone" thing isn't doing it.
I can't speak for her, but personally I would be glad if he decided to quit talking to me. I wouldn't want a guy I just rejected to want to try and be my friend, because you know what that usually means (they're holding out that maybe you'll change your mind and they'll get out of the "friendzone").
Unless she was a complete jerk to you, this is SO ridiculous. If you quit talking with her because she didn't want to be more than friends, then I'm glad it never worked out in the first place. Not to be mean but it's selfish to make your interaction with a girl contingent on whether or not she meets your relational demands. I've been "friendzoned" by at least one girl and we still have an awesome friendship with each other and I hold nothing against her. This is what I'm talking about whenever I say that, if you want to get into a relationship, don't make it about you. It should be about HER. You should want what's best for her at that moment in time. If a relationship isn't what is best for her because she just doesn't feel the same way (which is a hard thing to control/influence), then that should be respected. But breaking off the friendship altogether isn't really honoring her and it makes it quite apparent that the whole scenario had a lot more to do with you than it did with her...unless I missed something.
And if you believe in God's sovereignty over your life, you would agree that it just wasn't the season ordained yet by God for you to be in a relationship, meaning that it probably had more to do with God than it did her...
I love the fact that if this response was kept to one sentence, I would be able to leave it at that. But then you went for the snipe at the end, and I will disagree for the sole reason that if we weren't given the gift of reason for a reason (lol @ my verbiage), then why do we have it? Of course this also leads into your completely different theology which has meat puppets and darkly promotes suicide, so you know why that is why that is. And did I just take a snipe of my own? Why yes, I just did. And it wasn't right, but someone has to wake people up out of cultural Christianity and the dangers of disregarding the human person.It's obvious that, despite your education, the Bible is not an authority of any kind in the way you live your life so, unless that changes, we're going to strongly disgree. But you can continue to go by subjective observation. I'll just stick to truth.
Gratz.Are you smoking crack? I did what was best for both of us...I think these other two have hit on the nail, you're still a young pup, you'll learn.
I'm certainly glad that you ended up with great friendships out of all of it, but it's not above girls -- even Christian ones -- to use guys as emotional tampons and to me, that's what friendship after rejection brings you.I guess I'm the only one then that actually develops rapport and pursues friendship before I ever pursue more. I think it's sad that friendship can be so easily sacrificed. I guess from my point of view, it's the guy's issue to get over the situation if the girl has made clear that feelings aren't mutual. If the friendship is truly sincere and at least a little mature, the guy will get over his feelings and the girl will hopefully trust that it's happening. Twice now, pursued relationships have ended up not working out for me but in the end I still wound up with a continuation of two very good friendships. I'm not trying to puff myself up at all because it truly was God that guided me through both of those scenarios and because of that, I know for a fact that I went about it the right way because it was God's way and He ultimately blessed it. God's plan was ultimately worked out and fellowship with two good friends was maintained. That's how things should work at least within the context of Christian community.
I'm certainly glad that you ended up with great friendships out of all of it, but it's not above girls -- even Christian ones -- to use guys as emotional tampons and to me, that's what friendship after rejection brings you.
I try to put myself in the guy's shoes and view it from his perspective. If I expressed interest in a man and he rejected me, the last thing I would want is to be his friend. To me, that's the emotional equivalent of saying to somebody, "You know, you're ugly, but you have a great personality!"