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Featured The Negative Impact of Purity Culture

Discussion in 'Christian Philosophy & Ethics' started by Tetra, Jan 9, 2017.

  1. Tetra

    Tetra Well-Known Member

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    For me it was the opposite. I waited till I got married, just to desire to do the very thing I was taught was wrong.
     
  2. Archie the Preacher

    Archie the Preacher Apostle to the Intellectual Skeptics

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    You are undoubtedly correct. My comments were directed at Christians in this issue.

    I am pro-purity, but find intentional exposure and shaming to be counter productive in this area. It's not like people aren't found out accidentally or by God - who knows even if you and I miss it - without specific intent on the part of some.

    My comments here are not in general directed at non-believers. I am probably not going to personally influence them in any measure. However, I may strike a chord with other Christians and influence them in some small measure; at least to re-think their stance in some cases.
     
  3. Archie the Preacher

    Archie the Preacher Apostle to the Intellectual Skeptics

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    Allow me an observation. Non-believing men are probably no more, and no less, willing to have sexual relations with a willing woman. (As a Christian, one would hope Christian men are less willing, but that doesn't seem to bear out, sigh...)

    However, non-believing men at least talk like they'd prefer to marry a virgin. Which is contradictory, of course. But self-contradiction seems to be a hallmark of humans in general.

    My point is, non-virgin women are NOT shunned or even 'less preferred' among Christian men than among non-Christian men. The idea of 'damaged goods' not being as desirable is no less a factor with non-believers as believers. At least among men.

    I don't know about the attitude toward men. Probably a woman would be be better qualified to say if women prefer virgin males.
     
  4. dayhiker

    dayhiker Mature veteran

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    I agree with the idea that both non-christians and christian men can prefer virgins. When I got married as a Christian man, it made no difference to me. That had zero influence on my choice for a wife. After my divorce, I was more interested in women who had been adventurous than women who weren't. So I know I'm not the norm among Christian men but that is just the way its worked out.
     
  5. Far Side Of the Moon

    Far Side Of the Moon " The moon is high& the stars are aligned" :)

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    Actually does. What other option is there from purity? The opposite is promiscuity. purity shouldn't be shunned because its talked about in the bible and Jesus preaches upon it... I already explained that being molested or even having sex (mistakly..or even just falling short) doesn't really make one impure ...

    It just seems some in this thread are justifying casual sex... And that's wrong and its not acceptable...if you're a christian but if you want to rock with the world..by all means sleep around.
     
  6. Tetra

    Tetra Well-Known Member

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    Nothing wrong with purity, why do you think people have an issue with purity? The issue is with the idolatry of purity, as I have said before.

    Just because I don't think people should make an idol out of purity, does not mean I support promiscuity. I'm sorry, logically this doesn't make sense.
     
  7. Far Side Of the Moon

    Far Side Of the Moon " The moon is high& the stars are aligned" :)

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    Because people do, people here and in the real world. If anything sex and the sexualization of darn near everything is an idol... People face more pressure to lose their virginity and their is stigma and negative stereotype surrounding those who are still virgins at an older age. They're looked at as if something is wrong with them and they aren't really desired.

    Sex shouldn't be seen as an idol but we live in a sex crazed culture and I can't believe you're over looking that.

    And you never answered me, without sexual purity..what else do you have?
     
  8. Far Side Of the Moon

    Far Side Of the Moon " The moon is high& the stars are aligned" :)

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    Also it seems you have no issue with the blatant idolatry our culture has with sex either. How can you disapprove or one and not the other?

    Are you okay with premarital sex? Casual sex? Or having sex whenever as long as you repent?
    .I just wonder where you stand.
     
  9. bcbsr

    bcbsr Newbie

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    The Bible uses a very serious tone with respect to sexual immorality.

    1Thess 4:2-8
    You know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.

    So apparently it's a serious matter not to be taken lightly. Have you considered the negative impact of impurity on society? For we live in a virtual Sodom and Gommorah culture.
     
  10. Tetra

    Tetra Well-Known Member

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    Well it depends on how you define "sexual purity". If we define it as being a virgin, then you are either a virgin or not.

    However, just because you have sex though, doesn't mean one is promoting running around and having sex with everything that moves. This doesn't make sense.

    Please point me to a post where I said that's okay... if you're going to say I have no issue with something... I'd expect some evidence.

    I don't know if it would even be my business what someone does in this regard. I suppose I'd treat it like any other sin.
     
  11. Tetra

    Tetra Well-Known Member

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    Very true.

    I have, but figure that would be for a different thread. As a man who waited till he was married, I was affected negatively by purity culture, not society, hence this thread.
     
  12. Tetra

    Tetra Well-Known Member

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    I think it's more implicitly stated in purity culture vs explicitly stated. No one will say "I own my daughter", they will just act as they do.

    Listen to Hanna's story in the documentary (it starts at the time when her story begins):


    She has to take the boy she's interested in to her father for inspection. you see, it's not about teaching her how to determine for herself what to do, she's not able to do that. She has to rely on her father to determine what is best for her. She cannot be autonomous.

    Listen to the end of the documentary where Jessica says she's happy she didn't marry the man her parents picked out for her. It was simply assumed within purity culture she was just to marry the person that her parents "picked for her at 21".


    I'd encourage you to research more on this topic and how it relates to ownership, there's some really interesting research on it.
     
  13. redleghunter

    redleghunter Trust & Obey Supporter

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    It's only idolatry if not rooted in Christ.

    Frankly just about any thing in our lives not rooted in Christ has the potential to become an idol.

    I believe this is why the Apostles Paul, Peter and John emphasized self examination. Especially before we take communion with fellow church members.
     
  14. redleghunter

    redleghunter Trust & Obey Supporter

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    Don't know how old you are.

    However, traditional families Christian or not had stringent standards on who and who was able to date a daughter or son. Believe me when I say a mother in an Irish Catholic family has a big influence on who a son dates.

    I am also reminded of the interrogations my father put my sister's suitors through, with a drop dead time of return. Usually if my parents did not know the parents of the young man, there was higher scrutiny.

    That's how things were done prior to and a few years after the counterculture sexual revolution. Not to mention widespread use of contraceptives and abortion on demand.

    Let's contrast what most parents do now. They hand the keys to the car and say "have fun, and come back safe." Or just drive teens to an unsupervised party.

    Some parents are more concerned about their teens being popular and having friends to keep them "happy."

    It is my assessment these purity movements are a reactionary movement to the pendulum shift instituted by the sexual revolution.

    Perhaps the pendulum is swinging the other way now, and the end result will be fathers and mothers more involved in who their children date and associate with.

    This may lead to fewer STDs, teen pregnancies and out of wedlock children. At least amongst Christians who root chastity in their faith in Christ. There may be fewer abortions as well.
     
  15. Tetra

    Tetra Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for describing your experience.

    I think I agree and that's what I mean when you said "Perhaps the pendulum is swinging the other way now". I guess what I'm talking about in this thread, is how the pendulum swinging has hurt me (or others).

    Some in the thread seem to think I'm advocating promiscuity, I'm not, I'm advocating balance. How can we find a reasonable balance where the pendulum sits dead center?

    I did everything "right" waiting till I was married, and purity culture really did a number on me.
     
  16. fide

    fide Member of His Body by grace

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    "Nothing wrong with being a virgin"? Well, I'm glad you can go that far. - But this is hardly worthy praise for a Christian virtue: purity. You also wrote above, "The negation of purity culture doesn't mean the promotion of promiscuity." (post #78) This sort of statement leads me to imagine a parallel comment such as,
    "The negation of moral law doesn't mean the promotion of a culture of moral lawlessness, or amorality."
    -- Really? It doesn't? I say it exactly does.

    Purity, of course, as a Christian virtue applies to every realm of human life, not only the area of sexuality. One who is "pure as He is pure" (1 Jn 3:3) is not only chaste sexually, he is also pure wholly: he is pure in heart, he desires holiness in all his acts and his intensions, he desires to be the man or the woman God created him to be, the person God intends him to be, and graces him to be.

    Mt 5:8 "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
    1Tim 1:5 whereas the aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and sincere faith.
    2Tim 2:22 So shun youthful passions and aim at righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call upon the Lord from a pure heart.
    Heb 10:22 let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.

    Virginity - or for married persons, chastity - acknowledges and lives out God's intention for human sexuality. Sexual union is intended (created) to be the full human self-gift of man with woman, exchanged in the intimacy of covenant love, in the mutual assurance of life-long fidelity, for the fruitfulness of God among men. Such intimate self-gift in love models Christ and His Church! (Eph 5:22-33)

    Christian men and women need to understand the great - the cosmic - responsibility they carry in their bodies. The way they use their bodies in due reverence - or they way they abuse their bodies in lust, adventure, self-centeredness - gives a witness even to the angels in heaven about Christ, because they are witnesses of Christ and His Church.
     
  17. Tetra

    Tetra Well-Known Member

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    These aren't really analogous.

    Purity Culture is the idolization of purity, not simply purity. What I'm saying here (and throughout this entire thread many times), is that I'm against making purity and idol, not purity itself.

    So you're suggesting I have to make purity an idol (purity culture), or I'm promoting promiscuity?!? I'm sorry but that doesn't make sense.
     
  18. redleghunter

    redleghunter Trust & Obey Supporter

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    As Christians,
    We find our equilibrium in obedience to Christ.
     
  19. Tetra

    Tetra Well-Known Member

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    Here is an interesting article by Christianity Today discussing the purity culture as idolatrous, specifically setting up the father as an idol.

    Daddy Dearest: How Purity Culture Can Turn Fathers into Idols

     
  20. ~Anastasia~

    ~Anastasia~ † Servant of God † Supporter CF Senior Ambassador

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    I think a LOT of people are really misunderstanding much of what is being said here.

    You seem to be getting a lot of knee-jerk reactions without understanding what you refer to by "purity culture". Maybe if it had a different name, but it seems many just equate it with "purity" as though you are talking against chastity in general, etc.
     
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2017
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