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Featured The Negative Impact of Purity Culture

Discussion in 'Christian Philosophy & Ethics' started by Tetra, Jan 9, 2017.

  1. Neogaia777

    Neogaia777 Apprentice Supporter

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    Ahh, excuse me, he went through, felt, and suffered all the emotional turmoil and experiences of us all and all of a pure, holy, righteous God also... what made him pure is that he went through and expereinced it all, but never once succumbed to it/them or gave in...

    So, he was emotionally experienced and mature, yet pure at the same time, but, he went through hell emotionally, more than any of us have, cause included in his emotional experiences, were that of a pure, righteous, and holy soveriegn God...
     
  2. ~Anastasia~

    ~Anastasia~ † Servant of God † Supporter CF Senior Ambassador

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    Forgive me, but I'm afraid you completely misunderstood what I am saying.

    The main context in which I am speaking is the best way in which to pass on virtues to teenage children, for example.
     
  3. Paidiske

    Paidiske Bodily member Staff Member Purple Team - Moderator Supporter

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    Looking at it slightly more widely, I think purity culture has harmed the church in that it's entrenched or reinforced the idea that the church is about control. Particularly with things like pledges made at church, purity balls, accountability partners as standard, etc, there's this idea that the church is out to control people, for the sake of it.

    I actually think this is one of the most harmful beliefs held about the church by people outside it, one of the biggest obstacles to people being more willing to explore faith in the church. This idea that the church sees its role as dictating your moral choices, and the priest/pastor/minister is there as moral policeman.

    That's not how I understand my role at all, but I often have to work really hard to get that out of the way before I can have any sort of useful conversation. And the way purity culture was constructed really didn't help.
     
  4. Neogaia777

    Neogaia777 Apprentice Supporter

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    "Just Hold on loosely, but don't let go... If you cling to tightly, your gonna lose control..." (good song)...

    God Bless!
     
  5. Tetra

    Tetra Well-Known Member

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    Really insightful and interesting take! Never considered the impact that way. Thanks @Paidiske for that. :)
     
  6. spice

    spice Well-Known Member Supporter CF Ambassadors

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    Paidske, are we, the body of believers, the body of christ according to the bible?

    Therefore as His hands and feet here on earth, yes, I do believe that we represent Him.

    So we teach what He taught to others.

    When people hear about Him from us and are converted, then they go about trying to live their new lives, with the help of the Holy Spirit and also from fellowshipping with us.

    I gain strength to carry on the good fight by being alongside other believers at church.

    In order to help teach and instruct in the ways of christ,

    I'm seeing accountability partners as helpers that we are free to accept. The help is there if we want to make a choice to commit to overcoming various weaknesses.

    I see love involved in this, not control.
     
  7. Received

    Received True love waits in haunted attics

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    The whole dang thing is legalism, i.e., forcing a change in action without the change in character toward Christlikeness through spiritual disciplines.

    It's also a sort of negative reverberation for evangelical Christendom focusing so much on more superficial sins (i.e., anything sexual) rather than the bigger ones (e.g., pride). The church doesn't really know how to get a handle on the bigger sins because it doesn't know how to go about being a disciple of Jesus, in turn because it has no concept of the spiritual disciplines, instead focusing on a post-mortem Get-out-of-Hell-free theology. So what does it focus on? Those things that some members are able to handle and others aren't. It's the married preachers, youth pastors, and others in the church who emphasize purity, at least historically, and so put down a somewhat hypocritical gauntlet revolving around sexuality in the most sex-saturated society in history, all the while deeper sins (like pride, envy, ungodly anger, etc.) are given a quick touch on a Sunday sermon as opposed to an entire industry as with sex-related books for teens and young adults, and these deeper, more "mortal" sins are nowhere nearly as heavily emphasized as the more superificial, "venial" ones like those surrounding sexuality.

    Rest in peace, Dallas Willard.
     
  8. spice

    spice Well-Known Member Supporter CF Ambassadors

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    My changes in action come from first changing my character by the renewing of my mind, heart and soul, through Christ Jesus.

    However, even though I love God so very much, I still fall to sin.

    So having support and help fom my fellow beleivers, doesnt strike me as being false or bad or just for show.

    These are my fellow brothers and sisters in christ helping myself and others in the flock to walk the walk, and not to stray.

    I see this as an act of true love
     
  9. spice

    spice Well-Known Member Supporter CF Ambassadors

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    ps-also, I see this as encouragement from others at church, a sort of helping hand and lifting up.
     
  10. Paul Yohannan

    Paul Yohannan Well-Known Member

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    Interestingly, in the Eastern churches (EO, OO, Assyrian), the priest performs the sacrament on the betrothed.
     
  11. Paul Yohannan

    Paul Yohannan Well-Known Member

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    Strictly speaking, yes, but the same applies to men. Also, the Orthodox Church will not ordain remarried men or men married to remarried women.
     
  12. Paidiske

    Paidiske Bodily member Staff Member Purple Team - Moderator Supporter

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    u2spicy, I think the problem comes in when we try to force the behaviour when it's not what people would otherwise choose.

    Accountability partners are good, if you want to be accountable and to hold yourself to a standard. If they're imposed on you because you "should" have one, but there's no desire from the heart, they can be a problem. Same with pledges and balls and all the rest.

    And I think this is what the world sees; that purity culture took people too young to be ready to be making these decisions, and tried to mould them in a certain way, without either providing the necessary supports or having good pastoral responses to the inevitable failures. And people ask themselves if that's what they want for themselves or their children, and decide that it is not; and really I can't blame them (after all, I've rejected attempts of others to control me, too!)

    Encouragement is good, but it has to speak to the heart of what someone already wants; trying to encourage someone into something they don't want is going to backfire badly...
     
  13. spice

    spice Well-Known Member Supporter CF Ambassadors

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    Paidiske

    I'm having an aha moment!

    People have to have the heart first.

    I get what you're saying now.

    I'm a new Christian, don't you know, so I'm struggling to understand so much.

    But what you mean is that it's all in the heart.

    Aw, gee, feeling warm fuzzies now!

    Thank you, and forgive me for having senior moments.

    Please just call me spice.

    Thank you for helping with understanding :oldthumbsup:
     
  14. Paidiske

    Paidiske Bodily member Staff Member Purple Team - Moderator Supporter

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    No apologies necessary! We're all in a different place along this walk.

    One thing I'm very aware of, as someone who is happily married, is that I have little personal insight into the struggles of long-term single people. I often refer them to single colleagues for in-depth conversations, because I just don't know their struggles in the same way.
     
  15. redleghunter

    redleghunter Trust & Obey Supporter

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    Sounds like growing up in an Irish Catholic home. I have some experience with that.

    Ceremonies and group sessions aside, the Holy Scriptures call us to purity.

    We as Christians should be teaching our children that fornication is wrong, and adultery is wrong.

    It's tough being a young person living in the society man created. The simple rural life of people in past centuries had ages 15 and up treated as adults. Young people married younger to raise large families so they could survive. More kids more hands on the farm and more farming done. Better harvest.

    Today most young people don't even consider marriage until late 20s or even 30s. Careers demand a lot. They have to eat and pay rent too.

    So it's really hard for the young folks going back to the 80s on IMO.

    Both my Christian nieces married young during college and graduated college. They are also having children younger which means healthier pregnancies and healthier children.

    It's amazing what happens when we move closer to God's design and not man's design.
     
  16. redleghunter

    redleghunter Trust & Obey Supporter

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    Frankly the parents were quite involved in the West and East.

    But you have it right. The families would get together throw a party and wait for evidence of consummation.

    Much simpler in that era. People married a lot younger, got a plot of land and were on their own.

    Not many young people today or in my generation would survive. Perhaps those in rural areas would.
     
  17. redleghunter

    redleghunter Trust & Obey Supporter

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    You have a source for this ownership agreement?
     
  18. rockytopva

    rockytopva Love to pray! :) Supporter

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    Matthew 22:11-14King James Version (KJV)
    11 And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man which had not on a wedding garment:

    12 And he saith unto him, Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless.

    13 Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness, there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

    14 For many are called, but few are chosen.
     
  19. spice

    spice Well-Known Member Supporter CF Ambassadors

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    Just another thought upon reflection....

    I'm often advised to do the behavior first, even though I'm not yet quite wanting to do it.

    My pastor told me that if I just keep doing the behavior alongside with counselors and sisters and brothers helping me, that I will come to be able to do the behavior naturally.

    Something like "fake it to you make it" ideology?

    For example, I may not want to give a public speech due to shyness, but if I take advice and prompting, and after practicing and such, I must get up and do it, even with trepidation....faking confidence if I need to, until confidence naturally comes along as a new trait.
     
  20. Paul Yohannan

    Paul Yohannan Well-Known Member

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    This is of course inaccurate as an examination of the ancient canon law (see the Pedalion of St. Nicodemus the Hagiorite) would reveal.
     
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