The Importance of Controlling Our Tongues

[Michie]

If you ask people what the scariest book in the Bible is, most would probably say Revelation. With its horrifying visions, terrible judgments, and fantastical imagery, I’m almost surprised that Hollywood hasn’t tried to make a horror movie out of it yet.

However, if you ask me, I’d probably say it’s the Letter of James. While Revelation definitely has some frightening imagery, I know it’s just imagery. Those scary visions aren’t going to literally come to pass. In fact, when we understand Revelation correctly, it’s actually one of the most comforting books in all of Scripture.

James, on the other hand, is truly terrifying. It has some of the harshest condemnations of sin in the entire New Testament, and unless our names start with the abbreviation “St.” we can’t help but recognize ourselves and our own sinfulness in those condemnations.

More than Just Church and Prayer

Continued below.
The Importance of Controlling Our Tongues

 

[Basil the Great]

My mother has often told me that her grandfather was the only man that she ever knew who never spoke ill of another person. When I do once in a while speak of someone in a negative manner, I am reminded of my late great grandfather and how he lived his life.

 

[Rene Loup]

The Scripture:

Controlling the Things We Say
1 My brothers, not many of you should become teachers. You know that we who teach will be judged more strictly than others. 2 We all make many mistakes. If there were a person who never said anything wrong, he would be perfect. He would be able to control his whole body, too. 3 We put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us. We can control their whole bodies. 4 It is the same with ships. A ship is very big, and it is pushed by strong winds. But a very small rudder controls that big ship. The man who controls the rudder decides where the ship will go. The ship goes where the man wants. 5 It is the same with the tongue. It is a small part of the body, but it brags about doing great things.

A big forest fire can be started with only a little flame. 6 And the tongue is like a fire. It is a whole world of evil among the parts of our bodies. The tongue spreads its evil through the whole body. It starts a fire that influences all of life. The tongue gets this fire from hell. 7 People can tame every kind of wild animal, bird, reptile, and fish, and they have tamed them. 8 But no one can tame the tongue. It is wild and evil. It is full of poison that can kill. 9 We use our tongues to praise our Lord and Father, but then we curse people. And God made them like himself. 10 Praises and curses come from the same mouth! My brothers, this should not happen. 11 Do good and bad water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers, can a fig tree make olives? Can a grapevine make figs? No! And a well full of salty water cannot give good water.

True Wisdom
13 Is there anyone among you who is truly wise and understanding? Then he should show his wisdom by living right. He should do good things without being proud. A wise person does not brag. 14 But if you are selfish and have bitter jealousy in your hearts, you have no reason to brag. Your bragging is a lie that hides the truth. 15 That kind of “wisdom” does not come from God. That “wisdom” comes from the world. It is not spiritual. It is from the devil. 16 Where there is jealousy and selfishness, there will be confusion and every kind of evil. 17 But the wisdom that comes from God is like this: First, it is pure. Then it is also peaceful, gentle, and easy to please. This wisdom is always ready to help those who are troubled and to do good for others. This wisdom is always fair and honest. 18 When people work for peace in a peaceful way, they receive the good result of their right living.

~James 3:1-18 (ICB)

Bible Gateway passage: James 3 - King James Version
Bible Gateway passage: James 3 - New King James Version
Bible Gateway passage: James 3 - New International Version
Bible Gateway passage: James 3 - International Children’s Bible

Additional Scripture related to this topic:

Obey God’s Law Not Men’s
1 Then some Pharisees and teachers of the law came to Jesus from Jerusalem. They asked him, 2 “Why do your followers not obey the rules given to us by the great people who lived before us? Your followers don’t wash their hands before they eat!”

3 Jesus answered, “And why do you refuse to obey God’s command so that you can follow those rules you have? 4 God said, ‘Honor your father and mother.’ And God also said, ‘Anyone who says cruel things to his father or mother must be put to death.’ 5 But you say that a person can tell his father or mother, ‘I have something I could use to help you. But I will not use it for you. I will give it to God.’ 6 You teach that person not to honor his father. You teach that it is not important to do what God said. You think that it is more important to follow the rules you have. 7 You are hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he spoke about you:

8 ‘These people show honor to me with words.
But their hearts are far from me.
9 Their worship of me is worthless.
The things they teach are nothing
but human rules they have memorized.’” Isaiah 29:13

10 Jesus called the crowd to him. He said, “Listen and understand what I am saying. 11 It is not what a person puts into his mouth that makes him unclean. It is what comes out of his mouth that makes him unclean.”

12 Then his followers came to Jesus and asked, “Do you know that the Pharisees are angry because of what you said?”

13 Jesus answered, “Every plant that my Father in heaven has not planted himself will be pulled up by the roots. 14 Stay away from the Pharisees. They are blind leaders. And if a blind man leads another blind man, then both men will fall into a ditch.”

15 Peter said, “Explain the story to us.”

16 Jesus said, “You still have trouble understanding? 17 Surely you know that all the food that enters the mouth goes into the stomach. Then that food goes out of the body. 18 But what a person says with his mouth comes from the way he thinks. And these are the things that make him unclean. 19 Out of the mind come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, stealing, lying, and saying bad things against other people. 20 These things make a person unclean. But eating with unwashed hands does not make him unclean.”

~Matthew 15:1-20 (ICB)

Bible Gateway passage: Matthew 15 - King James Version
Bible Gateway passage: Matthew 15 - New King James Version
Bible Gateway passage: Matthew 15 - New International Version
Bible Gateway passage: Matthew 15 - International Children’s Bible

Jesus’ Power Is from God
22 Then some people brought a man to Jesus. This man was blind and could not talk, because he had a demon. Jesus healed the man, and the man could talk and see. 23 All the people were amazed. They said, “Perhaps this man is the Son of David!”

24 The Pharisees heard the people saying this. The Pharisees said, “Jesus uses the power of Beelzebul to force demons out of people. Beelzebul is the ruler of demons.”

25 Jesus knew what the Pharisees were thinking. So he said to them, “Every kingdom that is fighting against itself will be destroyed. And every city that is divided will fall. And every family that is divided cannot succeed. 26 So if Satan forces out his own demons, then Satan is divided, and his kingdom will not continue. 27 You say that I use the power of Satan when I force out demons. If that is true, then what power do your people use when they force out demons? So your own people prove that you are wrong. 28 But if I use the power of God’s Spirit to force out demons, this shows that the kingdom of God has come to you.

29 “If anyone wants to enter a strong man’s house and steal his things, first he must tie up the strong man. Then he can steal the things from the strong man’s house.

30 “If anyone is not with me, then he is against me. He who does not work with me is working against me. 31 So I tell you, people can be forgiven for every sin they do. And people can be forgiven for every bad thing they say. But if anyone speaks against the Holy Spirit, then he will not be forgiven. 32 Anyone who says things against the Son of Man can be forgiven. But anyone who says things against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven. He will not be forgiven now or in the future.

People Know You by Your Words
33 “If you want good fruit, you must make the tree good. If your tree is not good, then it will have bad fruit. A tree is known by the kind of fruit it produces. 34 You snakes! You are evil people! How can you say anything good? The mouth speaks the things that are in the heart. 35 A good person has good things in his heart. And so he speaks the good things that come from his heart. But an evil person has evil in his heart. So he speaks the evil things that come from his heart. 36 And I tell you that people will have to explain about every careless thing they have said. This will happen on the Judgment Day. 37 The words you have said will be used to judge you. Some of your words will prove you right, but some of your words will prove you guilty.”

~Matthew 12:22-37 (ICB)

Bible Gateway passage: Matthew 12 - King James Version
Bible Gateway passage: Matthew 12 - New King James Version
Bible Gateway passage: Matthew 12 - New International Version
Bible Gateway passage: Matthew 12 - International Children’s Bible

The Way You Should Live
17 In the Lord’s name, I tell you this. I warn you: Do not continue living like those who do not believe. Their thoughts are worth nothing. 18 They do not understand. They know nothing, because they refuse to listen. So they cannot have the life that God gives. 19 They have lost their feeling of shame. And they use their lives for doing evil. More and more they want to do all kinds of evil things. 20 But the things you learned in Christ were not like this. 21 I know that you heard about him, and you are in him; so you were taught the truth. Yes, the truth is in Jesus. 22 You were taught to leave your old self—to stop living the evil way you lived before. That old self becomes worse and worse because people are fooled by the evil things they want to do. 23 But you were taught to be made new in your hearts. 24 You were taught to become a new person. That new person is made to be like God—made to be truly good and holy.

25 So you must stop telling lies. Tell each other the truth because we all belong to each other in the same body. 26 When you are angry, do not sin. And do not go on being angry all day. 27 Do not give the devil a way to defeat you. 28 If a person is stealing, he must stop stealing and start working. He must use his hands for doing something good. Then he will have something to share with those who are poor.

29 When you talk, do not say harmful things. But say what people need—words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will help those who listen to you. 30 And do not make the Holy Spirit sad. The Spirit is God’s proof that you belong to him. God gave you the Spirit to show that God will make you free when the time comes. 31 Do not be bitter or angry or mad. Never shout angrily or say things to hurt others. Never do anything evil. 32 Be kind and loving to each other. Forgive each other just as God forgave you in Christ.

~Ephesians 4:17-32 (ICB)

Bible Gateway passage: Ephesians 4 - King James Version
Bible Gateway passage: Ephesians 4 - New King James Version
Bible Gateway passage: Ephesians 4 - New International Version
Bible Gateway passage: Ephesians 4 - International Children’s Bible

20 What you say affects how you live.
You will be rewarded by how you speak.

21 What you say can mean life or death.
Those who love to talk will be rewarded for what they say.

~Proverbs 18:20-21 (ICB)

16 There are six things the Lord hates.
There are seven things he cannot stand:
17 a proud look,
a lying tongue,
hands that kill innocent people,
18 a mind that thinks up evil plans,
feet that are quick to do evil,
19 a witness who tells lies
and a man who causes trouble among brothers.

~Proverbs 6:16-19 (ICB)

9 By his words an evil person can destroy his neighbor.
But a good person will escape by being smart.

~Proverbs 11:9 (ICB)

8 A wise person is praised.
But a stupid person is not respected.

~Proverbs 12:8 (ICB)

13 Evil people are trapped by their evil talk.
But good people stay out of trouble.

14 A person will be rewarded for what he says.
And he will also be rewarded for what he does.

~Proverbs 12:13-14 (ICB)

3 Whoever is careful about what he says protects his life.
But anyone who speaks without thinking will be ruined.

~Proverbs 13:3 (ICB)

1 A gentle answer will calm a person’s anger.
But an unkind answer will cause more anger.

~Proverbs 15:1 (ICB)

4 As a tree gives us fruit, healing words give us life.
But evil words crush the spirit.

~Proverbs 15:4 (ICB)

24 Pleasant words are like a honeycomb.
They make a person happy and healthy.

~Proverbs 16:24 (ICB)

4 Understanding people’s words is as hard as getting water out of a deep well.
But understanding wisdom is as easy as getting water from a flowing stream.

~Proverbs 18:4 (ICB)

5 A witness who lies will be punished.
An untruthful person will not be left unpunished.

~Proverbs 19:5 (ICB)

23 A person who is careful about what he says
keeps himself out of trouble.

~Proverbs 21:23 (ICB)

18 Anyone who lies about his neighbor
hurts him as a club, a sword or a sharp arrow would.

~Proverbs 25:18 (ICB)

20 Without wood, a fire will go out.
And without gossip, quarreling will stop.

~Proverbs 26:20 (ICB)

Question:​

Given all of this Scripture so far, and the scientifically proven effects of verbal abuse,[1][2][3][4][5] are insults, harsh language, ridicule, and other forms of unChrist-like language still a good idea, let alone from Christians? Why or why not?

Please consider this Proverb when answering:

18 Pride leads to destruction.
A proud attitude brings ruin.

~Proverbs 16:18 (ICB)

For more information about verbal abuse:

What Is Verbal Abuse? 22 Examples, Patterns to Watch For, What to

Emotional and verbal abuse | Womenshealth.gov

Signs of Verbal Abuse (Emotional and Verbal Abuse)

This is a very personal topic for me. I do not wish this on anyone, because I know the damaging effects all too well. This never required a high IQ nor a psychology degree. It only requires empathy and compassion. The Lord Jesus Christ called us to participate in the Great Commission (Acts 1:4-8, John 20:19–23, Luke 24:44-49, Matthew 28:16-20), and to love others as ourselves (1 Corinthians 13:1-13, Exodus 20:1-17, Luke 10:25-37, Mark 12:28-34, Matthew 22:34-40, Romans 13:8-10), not to act like ancient Spartans (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, (Ephesians 6:17 & Revelation 19:11-21), Matthew 26:47-56, Proverbs 16:31-32). There are very good reasons why Spartan culture only exists in Hollywood today (Luke 21:29-33, Matthew 24:30-35).[6][7][8][9][10]

Your life is your testimony. God bless!

1. Verbal beatings hurt as much as sexual abuse
2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201611/the-enduring-pain-childhood-verbal-abuse
3. https://scholarworks.waldenu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=6555&context=dissertations
4. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...s-everyone-must-understand-about-verbal-abuse
5. Effects of Verbal Abuse on Children, Women and Men | HealthyPlace
6. Sparta
7. 8 Reasons It Wasn’t Easy Being Spartan
8. Sparta's German Children: The ideal of ancient Sparta in the Royal Prussian Cadet-Corps, 1818-1920, and in National Socialist elite schools (the Napolas), 1933-1945 | Helen Roche
9. Dr H Roche - Durham University
10. https://www.washingtonpost.com/history/2019/04/20/hitler-hated-judaism-he-loathed-christianity-too/