The Excuse Game

[Quid est Veritas?]

I would, but I have had a revelation that Kale is of the devil.

Take down your Christmas ornaments already! It's February!

 

[Bordeaux]

I hibernated through the winter, so I'm just doing Christmas now.

Go ahead, make that career change you always wanted but were to afraid to.

 

[MrNoodle]

Help me come up with the healthiest food recipe.

sure, simply remove the cancer from the patient and eat it, it will save you the steps of growing it yourself

why do I keep getting told contradictory things that I'm suppose to be doing?

 

[LaSorcia]

I can't help someone who ignores the previous two posters. It's against my professional code of ethics, paragraph 34, line b.

Hurry up and take out that bag of trash, the garbage truck is coming down the street.

 

[lucypevensie]

I'm sick of that responsibility always landing on me. If they want my garbage so bad they can come knock on my door and get it themselves.

My son wants some peanut butter cookies, but i didn't get around to making them. Could you just do it?

 

[mama2one]

sorry, we only make those at Christmas
can you wait for 10 mos?







pls help me cut out these tiny little paper hearts

 

[MrNoodle]

if you cut them out the paper will die

can we please act like grown ups and do the things we are suppose to do?

 

[LaSorcia]

What fun is that?

Let's go play a game of laser tag!

 

[MrNoodle]

Lets go, I'd love to give you skin cancer from all the laser skin ablation!!!

Do you mind if I run with chopsticks?

 

[lucypevensie]

Doesn't bother me any. Just please be safe and put them in your mouth first.

Your turn to clean the toilet.

 

[MrNoodle]

I would but the cat is SO DARN DIFFICULT to hold while scrubbing...

Would you mind cleaning up the spilled litter?

 

[LaSorcia]

I didn't make the mess, so I'm not cleaning it up.

Don't cry over spilt milk.

 

[lucypevensie]

But this milk cost $100 a gallon. You better believe I'm going to cry!

Could I borrow your Bible?

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

Well, the Catholics were scared of each milkmaid having Holy Writ in that they would not understand it. If you are buying 100 dollar milk jugs, I think it justified to doubt your judgement. We wouldn't want you to inadvertently start a new heresy, do we?

Help me reassert my Protestant credentials after having argued the other side?

 

[LaSorcia]

Wait, you want an Orthodox Christian to do what? 'Scuse me, I can't stop laughing. Sorry.

Why don't you write a good homily and post it on CF?

 

[MrNoodle]

Do you REALLY want ME to write a homily???

Why would someone put None on their profile?

 

[LaSorcia]

Sorry, I don't answer questions from Slurm drinkers.

Could you possibly tie my shoe for me?

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

I know what that is a euphemism for and I've never been as insulted in my life! Have you no shame?!

Help me seek revenge against my many enemies.

 

[LaSorcia]

I am not taking on the Mafia, sorry. I have children to think about.

Here's some traditional Scottish oatmeal for you, with cream and whisky.

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

As per Dr Johnson's defnition of Oats: a grain, that in England is only fit for horses, but in Scotland supports the people.

Help me drone out the horrendous background music.