The Excuse Game

[LaSorcia]

Do they still make those?

Give me your autograph.

Do they still make what? Food?

 

[Chesterton]

go to a party

I'm already a Republican.

Can you do something about that fish smell?

 

[LaSorcia]

When I bought paint called 'ocean blue' I had no idea it would smell that way as well.

Finish this pizza, please.

 

[lucypevensie]

I only eat Chicago deep dish, and this most definitely is not Chicago deep dish.

Could you go to Starbucks and bring me home a latte?

 

[LaSorcia]

What if I spill it on me? What if I spill it in my car? What if I trip and fall and it splatters everywhere? Too many what ifs.

Will you tell me the current time in Lima, Peru?

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

I have it on good authority that Lima doesn't exist.

Could I borrow your credit card?

 

[lucypevensie]

The only "credit card" I have is a McDonald's gift card with $5 on it, and no, you can't borrow it because I'm going out for a value meal tonight.

Can you show me how your tv remote works?

 

[LaSorcia]

In my attempt to get more exercise, I've thrown away my remote and change the channel manually.

Can you cook dinner tonight? I don't feel well.

 

[lucypevensie]

YOU don't feel well, huh? Well, maybe I don't feel well either. Guess you and I will just have to go hungry.

If you don't feel well, maybe get a cup of hot tea and put your feet up for awhile.

 

[MrNoodle]

I prefer to hang by my neck from a rope.

Did you fix your roof leak yet?

 

[lucypevensie]

I'm hoping to get some money from homeowners insurance for weather damage.

Could you recommend a good book?

 

[gennypearl]

why is everybody asking me for a good book when everybody won't even recommend me one, i got enough of this topic.

be in someone else's shoes for a change.

 

[LaSorcia]

You've seen our height difference? Your shoes will deform my feet! If I can even get them on.

Let's go for a walk in the woods before the weather turns cold.

 

[lucypevensie]

The woods? I'm not really in the mood for a bear or wolf encounter.

I wouldn't mind if we go for a nice walk on the beach though.

 

[LaSorcia]

That shark attack I had last year has left me phobic of beaches.

Help me forget.

 

[lucypevensie]

Help you forget what again? I forgot.

Ok, forget the beach. How about a walk on the sand dunes?

 

[LaSorcia]

I'd love to, but we might step on a lizard. I'd feel like a murderer.

Let's just go bird watching.

 

[MrNoodle]

I could but then I'd have to stop watching sports.

Can you stop asking me questions and just bring me food/drinks while I watch sports all day?

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

I refuse to liquify haute cuisine in food processors so that you can slurp it through a straw. Food/drink indeed, savagery I say.

Can you change a lightbulb?

 

[LaSorcia]

That appears to be a GX23-2 light bulb, and no I can't change those. I can only change light bulbs with a screw base.

Please put some declogger in that sink drain.