The evils of sexualizing our youth

[Dorothea]

Dot, what you described is precisely what I remember witnessing in the mid 90s when in elementary school/seeing what was basically soft-core inappropriate contentagraphy on how to have sex. We didn't see homosexual acts, though. But I remember even as a kid being tripped out that they showed a scene to the 5th graders with a man/wife naked in bed laughing together....and I immediately thought that there's no way the parents would be comfortable with that if the kids started to go out/act that out - many of whom did just that.

Something is out of whack when you have kids as young as 10yrs old being pregnant - and boys as young as 4th grade experimenting. Our bodies develop as fast as our minds do - and sadly, you now have kids dealing with adult problems because they are being over-exposed at far too early ages. If you have a kid exposed, granted, at that point I think you gotta talk direct with them to do damage control/help them see what the Word said.....and I remember having that when working years ago with one 4th grader from the hood. He was very rough but brilliant - and as we were talking, I asked him on his day and he shared his struggles with his 2 girlfriends he had to please. I was floored he was even dealing with that - but at that point, you know you gotta shoot straight (IMHO).

Ugh. No, we didn't see any videos like that. I think the only time we ever saw something related to sex was the sperm swimming and penetrating an egg in probably biology class. I saw worse things in health and driver's ed. classes.

Yeah, girls being pregnant at 10 or 11....there's a belief (and I think it to be true) is girls and boys hitting puberty earlier is from the hormones and crud being injected into the cows and kids drinking that type of milk.

 

[Dorothea]

A lot of folks grow old but they don't grow up - and nowdays, everyone who's older wants to be younger and trying to go back to things a lot of folks were glad to get out of. If someone in their 20s/30s or higher says "wish I could go back, as my best years were highschool..", oh my....

Well, high school was crummy, so that's the last era I'd want to go back to.

 

[Dorothea]

Glad the info came in handy...as it's always a trip when you keep up with your favorite artists and see their developments. Had no idea you were into Color Me Badd - as I'd never would've thought that style of music was really your cup of tea. But cool to know we both dig R&B I was sad to hear of all the things he went through during that time - but rejoiced that he's on the other side of it and is seeking to help others avoid the same. Speaks volumes, as you just never know what happens behind the scenes when the Hit comes out...

That was the music I listened to back in my teens and early to mid 20's. It was before and a few years after I started to go to Church (hadn't before then, really...wasn't a practicing Christian at those times, really, even though I believed in God).

I didn't hear in the interview what he went through other than dealing with the companies and getting a good lawyer.

 

[Dorothea]

WIsh you had been there with me for one class I took in college for my Human Services career.

At one point, there was discussion on social programs for youth - and one of my peers was a Christian who was talking on the abstinence programs she works with other social workers at in helping to promote self-control as a viable solution. Immediately, the entire class jumped on her for daring to say that any faith-based organization not willing to advocate the use of condoms as taught in sex-ed had no real concern for people avoiding sexual dysfunction - and when I jumped in to aid/defend her, the guns turned on me. I did get to share how it's a bit insulting to the intelligence and abilities of others in claiming that it's somehow fantasy that other men/women cannot practice abistence successfully or that they're "lying to themselves" since I had done it alongside so many others and was taught that man isn't just an animal - men are not gorillas and ladies are not pieces of meat. It seemed to dumbfound them that others in the class actually said abistence should be promoted in a positive manner in social programs rather than seen as a derisive last resort......

Nowadays, it's profitable for kids to mess around since the media (and the services making the contraception) seem to encourage it. And the way it was taught in class was that the goal is to avoid getting an STD or pregnant - and yet no one rememebers that a condom can protect a body....but never can it protect your heart. For the emotional damage is where much of the damage occurs....and no one in sex education tackles that honestly. It's taught nowadays from the perspective of getting away with as much as possible/avoiding consequences as being "responsible" rather than seeing the action to be reserved for marriage.

Marriage isn't really favored nowadays and many come from broken homes where it's devalued - and living together/"free sex" is accepted...

Yeah, nobody wants to learn restraint or patience because in this time and age, it's the instant gratification and everything we want, we have to have NOW mentality. My dad used to complain about that to my sister and I when we were impatient in wanting something. Back in Dad's generation, people were able to save up in time for a car or house. They could actually pay for a car with all cash at that time. Nowadays, you can't. You're beholden to the credit cards and loans to get anything that is thousands of dollars.

You hit the nail on the head with the comment on the heart. Yes, it affects the person psychologically and emotionally, not just physically. You end up with pieces of your heart all over the places and lots of relationship baggage, and as I've said before, all it leads to is unhappiness, heartache, and a misunderstanding of relationships and what it means to love a person and marry. As you said, marriage isn't promoted in this society because of the low expectations of adults in view of the youth these days. They think it won't do any good to promote marriage and abstinence because they'll just be laughed out of the room or totally disregarded. I think it does a disservice to the youth to think that way.

 

[Dorothea]

I, personally, believe it's up to the parents to educate their children on puberty, development, and sexual intercourse and such issues. I do realize some parents aren't comfortable doing that, but I really think it's the best place to get that info, and it also brings about good communication and bonds with your children, and they may feel comfortable enough then to come to you when there are certain serious issues they may experience or come in contact with that they need to talk to someone about.

 

[ArmyMatt]

I, personally, believe it's up to the parents to educate their children on puberty, development, and sexual intercourse and such issues. I do realize some parents aren't comfortable doing that, but I really think it's the best place to get that info, and it also brings about good communication and bonds with your children, and they may feel comfortable enough then to come to you when there are certain serious issues they may experience or come in contact with that they need to talk to someone about.

yeppers. and I would add out there that as far as relationships go, the best place for a kid to get that info (it would seem) is from mom and dad. I learned how to treat my fiance because my father obviously loves my mother.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

Amen, good sister! I was chomping at the bit to get out of high school!!! Counting the days! LOL

Well, high school was crummy, so that's the last era I'd want to go back to.

 

[Gxg (G²)]

Ugh. No, we didn't see any videos like that. I think the only time we ever saw something related to sex was the sperm swimming and penetrating an egg in probably biology class. I saw worse things in health and driver's ed. classes. .

Yeah, girls being pregnant at 10 or 11....there's a belief (and I think it to be true) is girls and boys hitting puberty earlier is from the hormones and crud being injected into the cows and kids drinking that type of milk

That's definately something with a lot of validity, as food that is altered can cause serious alterations in your bodily make-up - including lack of ability to focus or reason. Although there can be genetic and physiological causes for early puberty, scientists have pointed to environmental chemicals as one of the culprits of this new normal since estrogen-mimicking chemicals are used in processed foods and containers, which can leak out, thus contaminating the product they hold. According to The Times, studies on animals show that when exposed to some chemicals their bodies can mature early, especially when these chemicals mimic estrogen in our bodies, which can alter the timing of puberty.

• Causes of Early Puberty: Why Is This the New "Normal?”
• Environmental Toxins Cause Early Puberty in Boys and Girlsjavascript:void(0)
• Is junk food the cause of puberty at 6? | The Sun |Woman|Health
• Clinical Biochemistry: Metabolic and Clinical Aspects - Page 448

 

[Gxg (G²)]

Well, high school was crummy, so that's the last era I'd want to go back to.

Highschool is a parent-funded illusion in many ways - and something many get shocked by when they get into college and realize highschool wasn't real.

 

[Gxg (G²)]

Yeah, nobody wants to learn restraint or patience because in this time and age, it's the instant gratification and everything we want, we have to have NOW mentality. My dad used to complain about that to my sister and I when we were impatient in wanting something. Back in Dad's generation, people were able to save up in time for a car or house. They could actually pay for a car with all cash at that time. Nowadays, you can't. You're beholden to the credit cards and loans to get anything that is thousands of dollars. .

It does seem that parents may be a part of the struggle, as many throw their kids out the house early in a desire to have them adapt to the world and they tell their kids messages that being respectable means having what the parents have early on - and thus, the pressure on kids increases to get quickly what it took their parents a long time to attain. This also seems to tie in with how many have pressure to keep pursuing careers/work over family.

Not really certain as to why everything is built on credit/loans now - as I'm old fashioned and like buying things in cash. Hard to keep up with credit.

You hit the nail on the head with the comment on the heart. Yes, it affects the person psychologically and emotionally, not just physically. You end up with pieces of your heart all over the places and lots of relationship baggage, and as I've said before, all it leads to is unhappiness, heartache, and a misunderstanding of relationships and what it means to love a person and marry. As you said, marriage isn't promoted in this society because of the low expectations of adults in view of the youth these days. They think it won't do any good to promote marriage and abstinence because they'll just be laughed out of the room or totally disregarded. I think it does a disservice to the youth to think that way

It is a tragedy to see the ways that people have gotten so used to living at a sub-normal level that their reaction to seeing what is normal is to immediately claim it is abnormal. I do have hope that things can be turned around - although it may be one person at a time and a long process. But many seem to have given up hope in changing the situation.

Do you feel it can change?

 

[Gxg (G²)]

I, personally, believe it's up to the parents to educate their children on puberty, development, and sexual intercourse and such issues. I do realize some parents aren't comfortable doing that, but I really think it's the best place to get that info, and it also brings about good communication and bonds with your children, and they may feel comfortable enough then to come to you when there are certain serious issues they may experience or come in contact with that they need to talk to someone about.

Right there with ya. Seeing this in action with several teens/kids, I'm surprised many don't do it more often since it does lead to good outcomes. Kids feel much safer from what I've seen and less susceptible to other peers trying to get them into things when they know that the world's view of relationships is neither healthy or realistic. Of course, how education within the family occurs may vary (and there've been a lot of discussions I recall where I was intrigued by the differences in what others feel is good education on sexual issues, here or here for example) - but the family is the central unit.

 

[Dorothea]

yeppers. and I would add out there that as far as relationships go, the best place for a kid to get that info (it would seem) is from mom and dad. I learned how to treat my fiance because my father obviously loves my mother.

 

[Dorothea]

Amen, good sister! I was chomping at the bit to get out of high school!!! Counting the days! LOL

Me, too. And then my parents were wanting me to enter a community college the next year. I was sooo not wanting to go back into school at that time, so I didn't do so hot the one year I went there. After that, I took a year or so off from school stuff and worked in a fun record and tape music store, and then, it was after that time I was ready to go to business college...seeing how I finally realized I couldn't live on that salary.

 

[Dorothea]

That's definately something with a lot of validity, as food that is altered can cause serious alterations in your bodily make-up - including lack of ability to focus or reason. Although there can be genetic and physiological causes for early puberty, scientists have pointed to environmental chemicals as one of the culprits of this new normal since estrogen-mimicking chemicals are used in processed foods and containers, which can leak out, thus contaminating the product they hold. According to The Times, studies on animals show that when exposed to some chemicals their bodies can mature early, especially when these chemicals mimic estrogen in our bodies, which can alter the timing of puberty.

• Causes of Early Puberty: Why Is This the New "Normal?”
• Environmental Toxins Cause Early Puberty in Boys and Girls
• Is junk food the cause of puberty at 6? | The Sun |Woman|Health
• Clinical Biochemistry: Metabolic and Clinical Aspects - Page 448

Yes, and thanks for the links. I will check them out.

 

[Dorothea]

It does seem that parents may be a part of the struggle, as many throw their kids out the house early in a desire to have them adapt to the world and they tell their kids messages that being respectable means having what the parents have early on - and thus, the pressure on kids increases to get quickly what it took their parents a long time to attain. This also seems to tie in with how many have pressure to keep pursuing careers/work over family.

Not really certain as to why everything is built on credit/loans now - as I'm old fashioned and like buying things in cash. Hard to keep up with credit.


It is a tragedy to see the ways that people have gotten so used to living at a sub-normal level that their reaction to seeing what is normal is to immediately claim it is abnormal. I do have hope that things can be turned around - although it may be one person at a time and a long process. But many seem to have given up hope in changing the situation.

Do you feel it can change?

I must be a misanthrope because I don't see it changing, but continuing downhill, like a snowball. Has there been times in this country's history that morals in people's lifestyles were changed for the better, cleaned up its act in that area and went back to the way sex is supposed to be understood?

 

[Dorothea]

Right there with ya. Seeing this in action with several teens/kids, I'm surprised many don't do it more often since it does lead to good outcomes. Kids feel much safer from what I've seen and less susceptible to other peers trying to get them into things when they know that the world's view of relationships is neither healthy or realistic. Of course, how education within the family occurs may vary (and there've been a lot of discussions I recall where I was intrigued by the differences in what others feel is good education on sexual issues, here or here for example) - but the family is the central unit.

Yes, I agree.

 

[Gxg (G²)]

That was the music I listened to back in my teens and early to mid 20's. It was before and a few years after I started to go to Church (hadn't before then, really...wasn't a practicing Christian at those times, really, even though I believed in God).
.

Understood

I didn't hear in the interview what he went through other than dealing with the companies and getting a good lawyer

My bad for not being more clear - as the intereview you listened to (from what I remembered) showed Kevin's beautiful testimony about what God delivered him from and his answering the question about why and how he became a gospel artist.

Earlier, there was another interview I linked to where he shared his story of conversion:

Kevin Thornton "Conversion" Live

Also, for a brief excerpt from one of the written interviews, as seen in Kevin Thornton: From "I Wanna Sex You Up" to "Full Armor Of God :

As a Christian Kevin began to feel convicted about singing Color Me Badd's provocative songs. He said, I prayed to God and said, 'If you want me to leave, let me know.'" Thornton faced a turning point in October 1998. Manager Johnny Wright, who guided to stardom NSYNC, Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears, showed interest in the group. But before Thornton, who had moved to Dallas, was to discuss a management contract with another group member, he visited a Christian nightclub event. It was Halloween and local youth minister G Craige Lewis was preaching on the music industry. Remembered Thornton, "I heard Jesus say, 'Now is the time [to quit].' And I said, 'Not now, God. Things are finally looking up for us.' I heard Jesus say, 'Whatever you give up for me I will increase you double.' At that moment Lewis said, 'The Spirit of the Lord is telling me to tell you to forget about the contract.'"

Although Thornton and his wife had a new home to pay for, he left the group and was soon driving a warehouse forklift. For years he sang little, resisting the urge to launch a Christian music career. He said, "I would have only added a secular mindset to a Christian agenda. I had to learn compassion. I had to learn to rely on the Lord and to do that I had to be stripped of everything."

​

To see what occurred with other members - such as Bryan Abrams getting arrested on domestic violence - and see where Thorton came out, it is interesting.

 

[Gxg (G²)]

I must be a misanthrope because I don't see it changing, but continuing downhill, like a snowball. Has there been times in this country's history that morals in people's lifestyles were changed for the better, cleaned up its act in that area and went back to the way sex is supposed to be understood?

Can't recall anything in regards to the sexual dynamic - and the Sexual Revolution in the 50s-60s was like a HUGE Block party ...and other generations had to deal with the clean-up afterward and others having to face the hangover.

But with other times in the nation, morality did seem to change on significant levels. The Civil Rights era being one of them

 

[Dorothea]

Can't recall anything in regards to the sexual dynamic - and the Sexual Revolution in the 50s-60s was like a HUGE Block party ...and other generations had to deal with the clean-up afterward and others having to face the hangover.

But with other times in the nation, morality did seem to change on significant levels. The Civil Rights era being one of them

The Civil Rights movement is a good example. Thanks for pointing that out. As far as sexual morality, I've only seen it decline throughout the past decades and last century or so. But of course, there was all kinds of sexual immorality during the early days in the OT, so there's that to consider. Hmmm....

 

[Gxg (G²)]

The Civil Rights movement is a good example. Thanks for pointing that out...

No problem.

As far as sexual morality, I've only seen it decline throughout the past decades and last century or so. But of course, there was all kinds of sexual immorality during the early days in the OT, so there's that to consider. Hmmm

Good point, as it concerns seeing the OT and the ways things were curtailed in time....or, if allowed, there were boundaries so that it didn't grow out of control.

With movements where sexual immorality went back to proper limits after a nosedive in morality, perhaps the Byzantine Empire would be another to consider - for the Roman Empire was plagued from within by excessive lust for violence/perversion and sexual immorality (be it of the heterosexual kind or homosexual kind) - and yet later on, it slide into gross immorality and yet those faithful evolved into the Byzantine Empire - with other men leading the way in aggressive campaign against sexual immorality like Theodosius I and Justinian ..or Empress Flaccilla , Empress Theodora and many others. I say that in light of how often people compare the U.S.A to the Roman Empire and say it'll be destroyed and is unable to reform based on Rome's history - and yet the other side of history with the empire is left out.

Granted, with the Byzantine Empire, it was just that...an empire, with an emperor. And a morality based on Christ. But the Roman Empire previously was opposite of it - just as the U.S.A is today - so you never know The East Romans were far from flawless - but they seemed far more successful than Rome ever was....and perhaps the U.S can experience the same if allowing for some serious consideration. Some serious struggles may also need to occur in order to get us to that point. But we can get there I think - and although we'll never be a place without flaws or any level of sexual immorality, it may be possible to at least bring the nation to a point of containment/quarantine where things do not progress. Understanding choice differently than how it's interpreted in today's context with democracy may be a starting point - for so many think that choice/free will means having just basis to do whatever one wishes....rather than seeing what one chooses to do as being either wise/productive or detrimental to others. And so long as the focus stays on respecting the right to choose rather than setting limits for how far choices can go, things may go bad.

Thoughts?