The Ethics of Child Free Couples

[Dvorah27]

This thread is descending into complete madness.

Total cat person here. You gotta work to get love from a cat. Dogs will pretty much give it away for free every time.

When you come home from work, the dog is all slobbering and wild-eyed, running in circles and jumping around you in total unabashed adoration.

Cats, on the other hand, just casually come sauntering in the room, looking totally bored and unimpressed, as if to say; "Yeah, so what else have you got? Get some food in my dish and maybe I'll let you have me in your lap."

Cats are also cleaner and much more quiet.

Now I will duck as the dog lovers pelt me with milkbones...

My cat, Bunny, acts like a dog when hubby comes home. She follows him around like a little puppy dog, jumping up on him & such. Leo is a complete Mama's boy. He follows me everywhere & no matter what I would do to him he will love me no matter what. (not that I'd ever do anything bad to my gentle boy)

 

[Dvorah27]

Can you prove that?

Um, it's obvious to those who have EYES !!!

 

[Amélie Unbound]

Um, it's obvious to those who have EYES !!!

You make a good point. Therefore I will completely ignore it.


Well, except to tell you I'm ignoring it, of course.

 

[pgp_protector]

Um, it's obvious to those who have EYES !!!

Then see

 

[Amélie Unbound]

Then see

 

[Dvorah27]

LOL

Actually, I have to say that I've loved Pegasus since I was a little girl.

 

[Chie]

Then see

just think medusa is the mommy of this pradie horse with feathers

 

[Chie]

talk about a bad hair day. ever tried to fix a head full of snakes lol

 

[cookiebaker]

I dont like the term 'child free' it is kind of sickening as it implies someone has something to be free of. I was single before I got married but didnt refer to myself as 'man-free' or 'husband free' I was just 'single'. I think the term bothers me, but not the fact some cannot have children, or whose lives are such that having childfren wouldnt be good for them.

Before I had the blessing of being a mommy, I never referred to myself as 'child free' likewise, I just didnt have children yet.

IF a couple feels that they shouldnt have children for a serious, valid reason such as a real health condition, that is understandable and I am sure God doesnt condemn that..you can only do what you can do. Or there may be something like a serious mental problem such as years ago a very sweet teenage girl in our neighborhood became very sick with manic depression, it almost took her life. It started with her acting odd, then downright crazy-- I remember once I saw her and thought "what happened to Pam??" she was acting so different than the Pam I knew, she was almost like a different person. One day her parents got a call that she had left school and went and jumped off a cliff....very sad..she survived, but has had to take high dose of medicine ever since and bc of that decided with her doctor that the hormone changes in pregnancy, and postpartum would most likely spark a really bad episode of the illness, -- definately NOT good for a baby.
So, she lives a very nice life helping others, and is super sweet, but she has to be careful to manage the illness so it doesnt flare up.

For those type of reasons i think it's understandable and in some cases just plain smart to not have kids, but for the people who dont have kids, bc they just dont like them, and then announce to the world they are 'child free' is kind of yuck, imo. I mean, if you can't have kids or for whatever reason choose not to have children, ok, but the ring of 'child free' sounds well, kind of yuck for lack of a better word since single poeple dont announce "hey! I'm wife free, look at me!" or 'hey, I'm older parents free" etc etc

 

[dluvs2trvl]

50 posts to go!!! Woo Hoo!!! Think we can make the split tonight????

 

[NightEternal]

IF a couple feels that they shouldnt have children for a serious, valid reason such as a real health condition, that is understandable and I am sure God doesnt condemn that..you can only do what you can do. Or there may be something like a serious mental problem...

For those type of reasons i think it's understandable and in some cases just plain smart to not have kids...

But why do these have to be the only valid reasons?

For my wife and I there are no health conditions, mental problems, or any such reasons. We simply choose to not have kids because we don't want them. Period. We are not prepared to invest the time, energy and finances that it takes to raise children. We like only having ourselves to worry about and the disposable income is great. Whenever I am around kids I get very irritable, edgy and nervous. I can only tolerate them in small doses, at best. I am at the point now where I won't even go into a Wal-Mart anymore because of the screaming, crying, wailing, petulant, back-talking, disrespectful kids I see and hear there.

I am convinced some of those brats need an exorcist more than a parent.

It's just not our thing and plus we enjoy our privacy and freedom to be able to do whatever we want whenever we want. We don't want the responsibility and never have.

Does this make us bad people? I hope not.

Honestly, I never knew this was even an issue until I discovered this thread.

As for the term 'child-free', I agree it is in poor taste and I have personally avoided using it in this discussion for that very reason...

 

[Dvorah27]

I dont like the term 'child free' it is kind of sickening as it implies someone has something to be free of. I was single before I got married but didnt refer to myself as 'man-free' or 'husband free' I was just 'single'. I think the term bothers me, but not the fact some cannot have children, or whose lives are such that having childfren wouldnt be good for them.

Before I had the blessing of being a mommy, I never referred to myself as 'child free' likewise, I just didnt have children yet.

IF a couple feels that they shouldnt have children for a serious, valid reason such as a real health condition, that is understandable and I am sure God doesnt condemn that..you can only do what you can do. Or there may be something like a serious mental problem such as years ago a very sweet teenage girl in our neighborhood became very sick with manic depression, it almost took her life. It started with her acting odd, then downright crazy-- I remember once I saw her and thought "what happened to Pam??" she was acting so different than the Pam I knew, she was almost like a different person. One day her parents got a call that she had left school and went and jumped off a cliff....very sad..she survived, but has had to take high dose of medicine ever since and bc of that decided with her doctor that the hormone changes in pregnancy, and postpartum would most likely spark a really bad episode of the illness, -- definately NOT good for a baby.
So, she lives a very nice life helping others, and is super sweet, but she has to be careful to manage the illness so it doesnt flare up.

For those type of reasons i think it's understandable and in some cases just plain smart to not have kids, but for the people who dont have kids, bc they just dont like them, and then announce to the world they are 'child free' is kind of yuck, imo. I mean, if you can't have kids or for whatever reason choose not to have children, ok, but the ring of 'child free' sounds well, kind of yuck for lack of a better word since single poeple dont announce "hey! I'm wife free, look at me!" or 'hey, I'm older parents free" etc etc

For many of us, though, kids ARE something to be free of. I'll continue using the term "child-free" because that's what I am.

Are we almost to 1000, folks ? Let's get hoppin' !

 

[Dvorah27]

It's just not our thing and plus we enjoy our privacy and freedom to be able to do whatever we want whenever we want. We don't want the responsibility and never have.[/FONT]

This is a biggie, being able to come & go as I please. Yeah, some folks I know say you can take your kid with you. That's just it, though. If I wanna go shopping for clothes I don't want to have to take the kid in with me while I try on things. I don't want to have to go home before I would like to if the kid decides to be a brat & get all moody cry cry scream scream, cuz no matter how good of a parent you are kids are going to have tantrums. I don't want to have to take a kid in with me if I need to use a public restroom. I like to pee by my lonesome, thank you. I don't want to keep a kid humored while I try to have some nice time myself also.
Anyway, I went out for burgers at 11PM tonight just cuz I wanted to. I Just got up & left. I also decided to get my grocery shopping done - close to MIDNIGHT ! (not quite, but almost) I can go out all by myself at 3 or 4AM if I want to. That's what's great about child-free living.
I really don't think people should take offense to that term. It's just not meant to be an insult to YOU, it's just how alot of us view our life. We are child-free & greatful for it.

We're truckin' right along to 1000. So, what's everybody up to this weekend ? All we did today was watch movies & had leftover baked ziti for lunch. Then, went out for burgers late tonight. Got some grocery shopping done. Tomorrow I'll probably do nothing real exciting. We got some Hebrew National hotdogs, so we'll have those & some steamed broccoli for dinner. I'll probably put in a short workout, maybe some yoga or pilates or a blend of the 2. Practice some dance. Watch more movies. Maybe get caught up on some Tivo.

 

[Amélie Unbound]

I dont like the term 'child free' it is kind of sickening as it implies someone has something to be free of.

What term would you prefer? The only other one I know of is "childless", but I'm not going to call myself that, because I think it would imply that I feel there's something missing from my life. I don't feel there's anything missing! My husband and I are extremely happy and content. "Childless" just doesn't fit.

 

[NightEternal]

Everytime I read 'child-free' for some reason 'germ-free' or 'pain-free' also pops into my head. Probably not things we should see as interchangable. Maybe that explains my apprehension...

Not too much happening for us this weekend. We went to the movie theater and saw Pathfinder. It was pretty good. The vikings were some scary looking dudes. Then we went to Kelsey's for dinner.

I am very excited because I'm going to see Rush in concert next month in Calgary. THE premier Canadian rock group! YEA!

 

[Mobiosity]

I IF a couple feels that they shouldnt have children for a serious, valid reason

Any reason to not to have kids is a serious and valid reason. You have no business judging what others do or why.
I hope you don't spread your bigotry to your kids. It's ugly.

 

[snoochface]

For those type of reasons i think it's understandable and in some cases just plain smart to not have kids, but for the people who dont have kids, bc they just dont like them, and then announce to the world they are 'child free' is kind of yuck, imo. I mean, if you can't have kids or for whatever reason choose not to have children, ok, but the ring of 'child free' sounds well, kind of yuck for lack of a better word since single poeple dont announce "hey! I'm wife free, look at me!" or 'hey, I'm older parents free" etc etc

If someone is single because they hate the idea of marriage, they might say they are wife free.

If someone had a hateful relationship with their parents, they may say they are parent free.

I dislike children. I dislike the idea of having children in my life. I know I would be a terrible mother and would hurt some poor innocent kid who didn't ask to be stuck with me. So I am child free. Sorry you find the term distasteful, but it's what I am.

I am not childless, because that implies a desire, but an inability to have children (which, now, is true, but at the time I decided I did not want kids I could have had them).

I suppose I could call myself "childless by choice" but that would just offend some other person for some other reason. So I don't care, really, I am child free. I am free of the burden that children would be to my life. Deal.

 

[Gwenyfur]

Thread Closed

Too many rule violations